I am a gentleman, didn't I

[thorne_scratch]

"The fix is in. It remains only to be seen what it's been traded for. To get to this stage, anyone wanting to be a referee has had to learn to enjoy the special flavor of pressure-group dick. The question is: will the referees stagger off ice with lungs half full of steaming Winnipeg semen? Or will they merely be licking their lips

Comments

[forsweatervests]

Okay, this "no eating before Mass" thing is not something I have heard of before...though we *did* always go Sunday morning and only eat breakfast afterwards, I kind of thought it was always because we were in a hurry. Huh. Do you know what the roots are with that?

[thorne_scratch]

Sha-zam. See near the very end. Has to do with the Eucharist, since we're all about the transubstantiation.

Of course, after the third time I flopped because of low blood sugar, my parents were pretty much, "Have you had some juice? Eat some toast."

[forsweatervests]

So what you're telling me is they gave up on you experiencing the purity of receiving the Lord into your body because of some minor "low sugar*" difficulties? Did your parents not care about your immortal soul?!? I FEEL FAINT.

*this was clearly either faked, or all mental. Put your mind to it, Thorne! Don't you recall the famous Catholic hymn, "We Shall Overcome"? What they were overcoming, I don't recall - it clearly wasn't important enough for me to remember - but I'm positive it was Catholicism-related. Ish.

[thorne_scratch]

Meh, I think they wanted to cut down on the church jumping the gun and calling the ambulance. In retrospect, I was lucky they didn't try to jam last rites down my throat!

I OVERCAME MANY THINGS, THE LEAST OF WHICH WAS NOT HAVING TO WEAR DAMN PANTYHOSE TO CHURCH! Heh.

...want fic? Still feeling the meme, a bit.

[forsweatervests]

You really are, actually, if it was anything like my church (overzealous to the end, and I'm not just talking about the proselytizing).

HAH. I NEVER WORE PANTYHOSE TO CHURCH! Mom was happy if we wore clean clothes and a shirt without a picture/words on it, though that rule became looser once my brother entered into his all-wolf-shirts-all-the-time phase.

ANYTHING ON JEFF SKINNER, TINY BALL OF RAGE. MAYBE JEFF/ERIC? :-DDD

[thorne_scratch]

Er. I have to confess, I don’t actually like real-life Jeff Skinner anymore. He was cute as a button last year; he's done a couple moves this year that have kinda been way too dickish for me to get behind. Get control of your stick, kid; then, we'll talk. Plus, division rivals and I honestly don't know much about them. But they did beat the Jets in regulation tonight, and that said, I think it would be hilarious if"…So," Eric says, and drums his fingers against the counter. "That's. That's what I wanted to talk to you about

[thorne_scratch]

"The condoms," Eric finally says, exasperated. "When I talked to you about condoms and safe sex, and you seemed okay about it then, even if you had a million questions, and I just figured you had everything figured out then, but clearly you didn't, so yes, I'm lecturing you about not throwing a fucking slewfoot on someone just because you're having…" He almost strangles on the word. "UrgesJeff stares at him. His face is still all mottled red and white, but he's not yelling now. Eric's honestly just glad he hasn't thrown anything at him. He'd used the plastic plates for lunch, just in case

[forsweatervests]

OH HERE IS THE MORE. GMAIL, WHY YOU PLAY ME LIKE THAT?

:-DDD SO MUCH MORE THAN I HAD DARED TO HOPE. <3 I'D APOLOGIZE FOR SHOUTING BUT I DON'T CARE; I LOVE THIS SO I NEED TO SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS.

[thorne_scratch]

ROFL. Ha, I'm glad, then. Sorry for anything wholly out of character. I actually see a few typos I might tweak, if I ever decide to actually do anything with this. If realignment ever happens, I guess we'll still have them in our division, so might as well get used to them.

[forsweatervests]

DO SOMETHING WITH IT. I urge you?

Nah, this seems remarkably in-character (bearing in mind I don't know any of these people at all and - fingers crossed - never will) and way more fun than anything I had in mind. I love when people are flat-footed by someone else trying to pick them up.

[thorne_scratch]

I have no ideas for them at the moment and I don't know enough about the Hurricanes to be really confident about writing them, but I'll put my thinking cap on and see if anything inspires!

I love when people are flat-footed by someone else trying to pick them up.

This is why I usually specify these memes with "NO REQUESTS ABOUT THE POPE, STEPHEN KING, BIGFOOT, ETC." but this time I thought I;d tempt fate XD

[forsweatervests]

Yaaaay!

Well, you picked something I wouldn't have written, but loved to have written for me. Excellent, excellent present. :-D

[thorne_scratch]

Ha! Apparently Skinner had ANOTHER rage fit a game or so ago. Seriously, Staal, bone the kid or something because he is headed for the wrong side of the tracks at this rate.

[forsweatervests]

WE ARE ALL BEHIND YOU, ESTAAL.

[athenejen]

THIS, THIS, SO MUCH THIS. Hilarious! Situation rings true.

(Oh, bb Skinner, I cannot believe you kicked at someone with your skate. Not on, kiddo, not on.)

[thorne_scratch]

Hee! Thanks! I have a not-so-secret love for the trope of the agonizing sex talk.

(I know, geez! It's like, calm the fuck down, kiddo. I'm still hodling a grudge against him for swinging his stick like a goddamn baseball bat at Halpy's head. On his first game back from a concussion, kid, you should KNOW better. And LEAVE MY HOMETOWN BOY ALONE.

...but his tantrum still makes me laugh in delight.)