(no subject)

[thispainedbliss]

i dont want to talk about it. i dont want to think about it. i want it to all to drown in every tear i've shed. to make its ears bleed with every scream i forced myself to silence. i want to rip this heart out and watch it splatter upon the concrete. i want these flashbacks and these voices to fade. to go mute and colorless. i dont want them anymore. and it pierces right thru me. the past is in the past. it cant be anymore. so y cant it jsut stay there and leave me be...

all i want right now is to be held a little while. not to be rescued. not to gain help in forgetting. but to be held. just a few moments of comfort.

but that's being selfish, isnt it. . .