Oh Noes.
This is unnecessary. John and I had a litle trouble getting our mark. We're perfectly fine, a few bumps and bruises aside. My pain threshold has always been somewhat high. You knock me down, and I'll get right back up and make sure that you never do the same. I've lost feeling in a few places, but I don't need it to begin with. If you ask me, I
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But all that aside, getting to a hospital after what happened seemed like the best thing to do. It's me being concerned about my wife's health. She'll suffer through it, give me all sorts of hell about if after, and then we can move on with our lives. As long as she's alright, it doesn't matter.
"Mr. and Mrs. Smith, good news."
"Good." No Jane, I'm not going to look at you. I already know what expression you're giving me, I don't have to look.
"Your tests were fine. The blood work was perfectly normal."
"Thank you."
"Thank you." I got up to go get my jacket as well calmly, still not bothering to look at Jane. Like I said, I don't need to. And if she wants me to explain again once again how I was just worried, then I will. I don't care.
( ... )
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It's not going to be a big deal if she kills this guy, but she still needs to stop. She knows I'm not a fan of pointless killing. Most of the time.
"I think our good doctor should speak up, don't you?""Jane." I watched her calmly, trying to get her to look at me. "You need to calm down." Especially if the doctor's telling the truth. Since he looks like he is, and he's not taking back anything no matter how afraid of Jane he is, I think I'm going to have a longer night than I thought I was going to ( ... )
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For a man who somehow managed to impregnate me while I was on the pill, John can be extremely inadequate at times, can't he? I dont want to go home with him. I don't want to be anywhere near him now. John can leave if he would like, but I'm taking that test over until I get the result I'm supposed to get. The negative one.
Children. Fuck. I wouldn't know the first thing about raising one. And if John tries to sell me on 'learning' I'll make it perfectly clear that I don't want to, nor would I ever agree to any type of maternity leave. The test results have to have been printed in error. Its impossible.
Seven weeks doesn't make any sense. John was out on assignment until...
Shit.
"What do you think?"
I think if John wants to go home as much as he claims, he should stop using that tone with me and acting like a wiseass. I can see right through it. I bet he thinks he has me right where he wants me now. A kid ( ... )
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Come on Jane. Let's just go home. If you want to kick my ass that badly, we can do it there, I promise.
Wait, now she looks suspicious. She thinks I had something to do with this. Aside from the basic part that I'd be playing, none of this was me.
The only problem here is, in Jane's state, I really doubt she's going to think that's true. And there's no way I'm going to hit the woman carrying my child, which means I'm looking at a pretty extreme ass kicking.
Maybe I'll just have to stick with keeping away from her stomach, if it comes down to that. It might be the only way I survive if she gets angry enough.
"What did you do to me, John? You knew I didn't want a kid."
"I had nothing to do with this. Outside of the obvious." I sighed when she proved me right just by the look she was giving me. It's definitely going to be a long night ( ... )
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"What makes you think I'd give you time to run?"
I advanced on him quickly, not wanting to lose a second and give him the time I'd declared John not to have, and slammed my fist into his midsection, fully aware that he'd be unwilling to do the same to me.
My husband, the sweetheart that is, would be afraid to hurt the baby. The one I never agreed to having. The one I will not want regardless of what he thinks he's going to tell me when he gets home ( ... )
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I should have expected that. I rely too much on Jane's getting her kicks with the 'hunt'. She'd be too angry to do that here. And she still thinks I pulled something on her, so she's not going to be pulling any punches.
And I mean that in the most literal sense.
I took everything Jane threw at me, and had to ignore the instinct telling me to fight back. It'd be self defense, but I can't risk doing something damaging.
"Do you...do you know how bad of a mother I would be?"
I'd answer that sweetheart, but I'm a bit busy having my ass handed to me. If you give me a split second to breathe, I might be able to say something.
Or I might find myself on the floor with a bunch of medical supplies.
"Give yourself a single second to look at the big picture, and then tell me what you think we have to talk about."She's not interested in a response that doesn't agree with her right now. "Are you done?" I asked finally, pulling myself off the floor and finally getting the chane to pull in air ( ... )
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"No."
"I understand the big picture, Jane, believe me. That's why I never pushed this more than the very few times we spoke about it."
He doesn't understand, he couldn't possibly. John wants a child. He has no idea what it feels like for someone who knows that she's fully incapable of raising one. All he hears is that I'm not interested, and that there's one on the way. If I gave him the chance he'd start passing out cigars to our associates tomorrow morning.
And yes, we will be going along with that assignment as planned. I refuse to let this change my life, no matter what John claims to know about me.
"This wasn't planned. Which is why we need to talk about whether or not we're keeping this baby. Ontop of that, unless you want to deal with orderlies and then the police, It'd be a good idea to leave."We're not. And I don't mind ( ... )
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I caught my breath again, wondering if I was doing more damage to myself than I was to John. One look in his direction proved otherwise. He's feeling it. I could have made him feel it more, but there's no need for it now. He's being fair about this.
And I believe him about it being an accident. John wouldn't do this and then leave the decision to me. If he was responsible for it, he'd attempt talking me into having it. The way he's acting, he isn't going to force me. I don't think it has anything to do with my hitting him, either. I'm not sure I understand very much of this, but John is leaving the decision to me.
"So it's up to you. As you can see? I'm not fighting you here."I sighed, looking away from him and crossing my arms over my chest. I wish this wasn't happening. There's no way for both of us to ( ... )
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She's starting to look a little more reasonable. I think I'm clear, finally. Which is great, I'm getting tired of having my ass kicked when I can't do a thing about it.
And now she looks upset. Hormones. I'm not at the point of where it's safe to touch her just yet, so I'll have to wait. The only time I ever saw her close to this was when we were trying to kill each other, and I didn't like it then. I don't like it now, either.
She's a strong woman. Extremely stubbourn, sometimes unreasonable, but strong. To see her any other way is new to me. But that'd be marriage, wouldn't it? You see sides of each other you're not used to, and you get used to them.
I'll definitely have to get used to all of this in a hurry.
"We should leave. I need some time to think this through.""Alright." I nodded, and listened for the orderlies. Doesn't sound like too many of them are coming just yet. We'll have to go in the other direction and get out that way ( ... )
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I swallowed hard on nothing, returning the nod quietly and walking with him. The only people around appeared to be preoccupied with other things, or trying not to look at us. I think some were just plain hiding, but its hard to tell. I wasn't paying attention to any of it when I walked in. Now I'd like to notice something new to distract myself with. I don't want to have to think about a baby, or how unhappy John would be without one now that there could be a child in his future.
This wasn't something I ever thought we'd have to worry about. John always let it go when he brought up having kids and I changed the subject. It was simple. He knows how much I love my job, he didn't push.
I'm at the top of my game, and I think I may have to give that up.
"Come on."I followed him, hating the silence yet having a difficult time finding words to speak. I have no clue what I'd say to him right now. John would get upset if I started with an apology, that isn't what he'd like to hear, and I'm not completely sure that I feel any ( ... )
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Give or take.
I only view this as a problem though, because Jane views it as a problem. And Jane's going to make it a problem for me. I doubt this baby's going to be around much longer.
I'm not sure what I'm going to think of that when that happens. She knows how I feel about kids. But I'm not going to ask Jane to give up everything just the same.
I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm not the type of guy who doesn't like not knowing what to do, either.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, Jane." I said calmly, taking a right and bringing us closer to home. My jaw hurts a little, and my stomach could feel better, and I'm dealing with my wife being hormonal.
Not to mention that I'm a father, and might not be for very much longer.
I'm as fine as I'm going to be.
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"So we're back to lying to each other again?"
I was expecting an answer similar to that one. John wouldn't fight me in the hospital, I can't picture him starting up in the car. When he decides to be done with an argument, thats the end of it. He's uninvolved. Its as simple as that. Usually.
This is anything but simple for me, and John's decision to be fine isn't helping at all.
How am I supposed to handle this on my own? I'd be happy not having to handle it at all, but that's no longer an option for me. John shouldn't allow himself to leave this to me.
I felt better about it at first, but after thinking it over, it seems as though he's left me to figure this out on my own. If that's any indication of how it would be...
He better find the motivation to be something other than "fine". And he better do it fast.
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"I don't know. What would you like to say to me John?"
I find it funny that the truth is still a difficult concept for John to grasp. We had a rocky six years of lies, I think he should have learned by now that they don't get us anywhere. In the very near future, I'm going to have to make a decision that could change both of our lives, and our marriage, forever. John deciding to keep his mouth shut instead of pleading his case isn't what the best way to react to this if he wants me to consider us raising this baby.
"Whatever you decide, I'm with you. You know how I feel, and you know what I want. Unfortunately, that would clash with what you want. And given our lives at this point, it's selfish of me to push anything on you.""Right ( ... )
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