my heart on your sleeve (oneshot)
my heart on your sleeve
kaisoo (jongin/kyungsoo).
pg.
au. romance. fluff.
oneshot/~1800w.
So that Jongin never forgets just how much Kyungsoo loves him, he leaves him bits and pieces of them to hang on to until Kyungsoo comes back home.
a/n: this is for my beloved twin, rhewoon. I'm sorry I don't know what to say to make you happier, but maybe I know how to write it.
•
When Kyungsoo leaves for college, Jongin locks himself in a dance studio with the music blaring so loud that the floors shake. He stays there for a day and a half until he is forced to come out for several human needs, including an empty stomach. But he doesn't speak to anyone, doesn't reply to anyone.
He breathes, but he doesn't live.
Another day passes, and there's a message at his phone. He almost doesn't check it, thinking it's another one of his friends trying to get him to go out. But a small part of him whispers to look at his phone (it sounds an awful lot like Kyungsoo's voice).
When he picks up the phone, he reads a familiar name followed by a heart. His heart warms and he hurriedly opens it, eager to hear from his boyfriend.
The message is rather odd though.
'I know you're probably moping around right now but look under nightstand :) love you! - kyungsoo'
Jongin stares at the message for a moment, trying to let it sink in, word for word. He wishes he could hear them instead, can almost imagine them in his head even. He takes in a deep breath, smiling sadly. He wishes it weren't so hard.
Slowly, he rolls over his side and faces his nightstand. He looks around it, not seeing anything. He wonders if he should text back, ask him what he's talking about and how he's doing, but he stops himself. This is Kyungsoo's adventure and just Kyungsoo's. He shouldn't bother him.
He's about to give up when he sees a glossy paper sticking out beneath the table. He leans down and grabs it, holding it up to the light.
It's a picture.
It's Kyungsoo and himself with their group of friends in the background. Kyungsoo's face is cut off, and Jongin is facing the other way, laughing at something going on behind them.
He doesn't remember the specific occasion, or ever taking this photo to begin with, but the sight of Kyungsoo aches. He smiles sadly, about to place the photo back on his nightstand when he sees Kyungsoo's delicate handwriting on the back.
'it's you and me and them. don't forget them. they care too.
maybe not as much as me :) but they do.
go call them and do something.
love you, miss you,
-- kyungsoo ♥'
Jongin stares. And stares. And stares.
Then calls up Sehun and Zitao, asking if it's not too late to accept their movie night offer.
-------
Kyungsoo calls him the next day to ask how he is, and Jongin wants to record his voice to listen to all night. But he answers that he went out with Sehun and Zitao, and he can hear the smile in Kyungsoo's reply.
They talk about everything and anything, but Kyungsoo never brings up the picture. Jongin wants to ask, but he knows it won't do much. Kyungsoo always knew things. He never said them, but they were there, in his mind. And Jongin knows, because he knows Kyungsoo.
Kyungsoo has to go after an hour, says something about a club meeting. Jongin hangs up reluctantly, plopping himself onto his bed to sleep. Lately, that's all he's really wanted, besides Kyungsoo.
When he wakes up two hours later, he has three new messages, one from Kyungsoo. He checks that one first.
'your closet's a mess and I bet it's gotten messier but I hope you can still find it! it's under the shoe box you refuse to throw away. I love you! -- kyungsoo'
Jongin doesn't know what 'it' is, but he jumps out of bed and throws the closet door open. It's a bit hard to find the shoe box under all of his clothes - Kyungsoo knows him too well - but he eventually sees it under the landfill.
It's a Pororo keychain.
Jongin laughs despite himself because it's the one he got for Kyungsoo on their first date out of those machines outside of the movie theater.
-------
A text comes once every week after that, each with ambiguous messages about a place.
--
'during our first at home movie date, you kissed me for the first time. but what was the movie again? I love you! -- kyungsoo'
The movie was The Dark Knight, and Jongin still has the DVD at his desk. He opens up the container and out drops a piece of lined paper. Inside is a movie ticket, and Jongin can't help but gawk at it.
TRANSFORMERS
Admission for One
7:30 PM
Theater 12
8/5/2007
On the back of it was Kyungsoo's handwriting, a little messier than usual: worst/best first date ever.
--
'are you surviving without my cooking? :) I'll cook you so much food when I get back! for now, look in your mom's cookbook, p. 11. I love you! -- kyungsoo'
His mom's cookbook is a bit dusty due to lack of use, but he manages to dig it out of their bookcase. He flips to the page and sees a picture of himself in the practice room. It's just him there, staring intently at the mirror. He wonders when this picture was taken, and flips it over to the back to read Kyungsoo's writing.
'you don't know about this picture but it's the first time I ever saw you outside of school. you looked so tired, but so focused, so I took a photo of you with my phone. I thought it was sort of inspirational. and it might sound silly, but seeing how thin you were made we want to cook for you. but that's not the point. the point is that I've loved you from day one, jongin.'
--
'I know you don't like reading, but there's a book on the top shelf of your closet that I left for you. it's one of my favorites. it's not very long. you should read it too. I love you! -- kyungsoo'
The book is The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry and Jongin wonders how he'll manage reading it in English. But he tries anyway, just for Kyungsoo, with a translator by his side. At the end of the book, there's a a little bookmark. The handwriting on it is unmistakenly Kyungsoo's.
'I'll come back for you, my rose.'
--
'remember that playlist you made me for our first month anniversary? I still have it. play song number five. it's my favorite :) I love you! -- kyungsoo'
Jongin opens his iTunes. The playlist is still there, entitled Kyungsoo's. He finds track five, but stops when he sees it's not the same one. Track five has been moved down to six, and in its place is the same song but with no artist name.
He double-clicks and the voice is unforgettable because it's Kyungsoo's and he's singing their song.
--
'it's snowing today! remember our last snowball fight? I got sick afterwards and you made me soup. while I waited, I played on your laptop. look at your pictures! I love you! -- kyungsoo'
There are a lot of pictures on his laptop from various occasions, many with him and Kyungsoo as the main subject. It's hard to find whatever photo Kyungsoo is talking about, but then he sees a random folder with a heart in its title. He opens it, and there's only one picture there.
It's Kyungsoo, huddled up in a blanket, his nose red. He's smiling though, and his hands are making a heart shape. Jongin doesn't need a message for this one.
-------
Fourteen weeks pass, but it feels like years. Kyungsoo calls every now and then, but it's never enough. He wants more than a voice now - he wants a body, warmth, kisses. He's selfish when it comes to Kyungsoo.
But tomorrow will be brighter because it's the first day of Winter Break and Kyungsoo will be arriving at the airport at 2:00 PM tomorrow. Jongin can see it now - Kyungsoo arriving, running into Jongin's arm with tears streaming down his face, pressing salty kisses everywhere while saying 'I missed you' over and over.
He's getting ready for bed when he gets a text.
'remember that sweater I bought you last christmas? you should wear it when you come pick me up, ok? :) I love you! -- kyungsoo'
Jongin blinks. Of course he remembers that jacket - he's been wearing it day after day ever since the weather turned cold. His mom had to talk him out of handing it over to be washed. He was going to wear that jacket regardless, but wonders why Kyungsoo wants him to wear it anyway.
The drive there, Jongin thinks about the past fourteen messages from Kyungsoo. He wonders how the older remembers all these things, and how he had the time to plan all of this. He laughs a little because he really is selfish for keeping Kyungsoo all to himself when he deserves so much better, but he can't help it.
Kyungsoo is a part of his life now, embedded in his soul.
It's almost 1:50 PM now and Jongin is parked outside. He steps out, palms sweaty and heart racing. Months have passed now - the longest they've ever been separated - and Jongin's anxious. He wonders if anything's changed, if Kyungsoo still loves him as much.
But when he sees Kyungsoo emerge from the crowd, a single suitcase in tow with a bright smile on his face, he remembers all the reminders Kyungsoo left, every single 'I love you!' Kyungsoo texted him every night, and he knows nothing has changed.
He wants to run towards Kyungsoo but knows that'll probably be a mistake in this crowd. He has to hold back his nerves as he watches Kyungsoo hurry his way through the crowd, until finally -
"Hi."
Kyungsoo falls into his arms, and Jongin envelops him as fast as he can with his arms. He still remembers how it felt holding Kyungsoo in his arms, comforting yet exhilirating because Kyungsoo always takes his breath away, even without meaning to.
"I missed you," Jongin breathes, and it's hard to speak because he missed Kyungsoo so much.
Kyungsoo smiles and kisses his neck softly, whispering, "I missed you, too," and it heats up Jongin despite the winter chill. He's tugging Kyungsoo's suitcase for him towards the car when Kyungsoo stops him and pulls at his right arm.
"What are you -"
"Look," Kyungsoo says, beaming softly as he holds up the arm. And what do you know - sewed to Jongin's sweater's sleeve is a small red heart underneath the cuff. It has D.K. on it in white cursive letters.
"I -" Jongin doesn't know what to say. He can't stop staring at it.
"So that you remember I'm always there, I always love you," Kyungsoo says, interlacing his fingers with Jongin's like a promise. "It's my heart on your sleeve."
•a/n: you can be separated from the people you care about but still be there, you know ^^ umm this is unbetaed for now because I didn't want this to be TOO late but I'll try to have someone read this over for me soon ;A; I know it's um... a bit... messy. and stuff. I'm sorry. but thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed! and feel better, rhea :)
(the little prince reference about the rose is that the little prince leaves his rose to explore the world. but he misses it, and goes back to it and his little planet in the end. I dunno if it was supposed to be viewed as romantic in the text, but uhh yeah. that's the allusion for this story. huzzah even though it might be wrong oops. and I didn't write FOURTEEN texts for the fourteen weeks because THAT'S TOO MUCH and I didn't have that many ideas ;_; I'm sorry. and I don't like the format of this fic but oh well...)
kaisoo (jongin/kyungsoo).
pg.
au. romance. fluff.
oneshot/~1800w.
So that Jongin never forgets just how much Kyungsoo loves him, he leaves him bits and pieces of them to hang on to until Kyungsoo comes back home.
a/n: this is for my beloved twin, rhewoon. I'm sorry I don't know what to say to make you happier, but maybe I know how to write it.
•
When Kyungsoo leaves for college, Jongin locks himself in a dance studio with the music blaring so loud that the floors shake. He stays there for a day and a half until he is forced to come out for several human needs, including an empty stomach. But he doesn't speak to anyone, doesn't reply to anyone.
He breathes, but he doesn't live.
Another day passes, and there's a message at his phone. He almost doesn't check it, thinking it's another one of his friends trying to get him to go out. But a small part of him whispers to look at his phone (it sounds an awful lot like Kyungsoo's voice).
When he picks up the phone, he reads a familiar name followed by a heart. His heart warms and he hurriedly opens it, eager to hear from his boyfriend.
The message is rather odd though.
'I know you're probably moping around right now but look under nightstand :) love you! - kyungsoo'
Jongin stares at the message for a moment, trying to let it sink in, word for word. He wishes he could hear them instead, can almost imagine them in his head even. He takes in a deep breath, smiling sadly. He wishes it weren't so hard.
Slowly, he rolls over his side and faces his nightstand. He looks around it, not seeing anything. He wonders if he should text back, ask him what he's talking about and how he's doing, but he stops himself. This is Kyungsoo's adventure and just Kyungsoo's. He shouldn't bother him.
He's about to give up when he sees a glossy paper sticking out beneath the table. He leans down and grabs it, holding it up to the light.
It's a picture.
It's Kyungsoo and himself with their group of friends in the background. Kyungsoo's face is cut off, and Jongin is facing the other way, laughing at something going on behind them.
He doesn't remember the specific occasion, or ever taking this photo to begin with, but the sight of Kyungsoo aches. He smiles sadly, about to place the photo back on his nightstand when he sees Kyungsoo's delicate handwriting on the back.
'it's you and me and them. don't forget them. they care too.
maybe not as much as me :) but they do.
go call them and do something.
love you, miss you,
-- kyungsoo ♥'
Jongin stares. And stares. And stares.
Then calls up Sehun and Zitao, asking if it's not too late to accept their movie night offer.
-------
Kyungsoo calls him the next day to ask how he is, and Jongin wants to record his voice to listen to all night. But he answers that he went out with Sehun and Zitao, and he can hear the smile in Kyungsoo's reply.
They talk about everything and anything, but Kyungsoo never brings up the picture. Jongin wants to ask, but he knows it won't do much. Kyungsoo always knew things. He never said them, but they were there, in his mind. And Jongin knows, because he knows Kyungsoo.
Kyungsoo has to go after an hour, says something about a club meeting. Jongin hangs up reluctantly, plopping himself onto his bed to sleep. Lately, that's all he's really wanted, besides Kyungsoo.
When he wakes up two hours later, he has three new messages, one from Kyungsoo. He checks that one first.
'your closet's a mess and I bet it's gotten messier but I hope you can still find it! it's under the shoe box you refuse to throw away. I love you! -- kyungsoo'
Jongin doesn't know what 'it' is, but he jumps out of bed and throws the closet door open. It's a bit hard to find the shoe box under all of his clothes - Kyungsoo knows him too well - but he eventually sees it under the landfill.
It's a Pororo keychain.
Jongin laughs despite himself because it's the one he got for Kyungsoo on their first date out of those machines outside of the movie theater.
-------
A text comes once every week after that, each with ambiguous messages about a place.
--
'during our first at home movie date, you kissed me for the first time. but what was the movie again? I love you! -- kyungsoo'
The movie was The Dark Knight, and Jongin still has the DVD at his desk. He opens up the container and out drops a piece of lined paper. Inside is a movie ticket, and Jongin can't help but gawk at it.
TRANSFORMERS
Admission for One
7:30 PM
Theater 12
8/5/2007
On the back of it was Kyungsoo's handwriting, a little messier than usual: worst/best first date ever.
--
'are you surviving without my cooking? :) I'll cook you so much food when I get back! for now, look in your mom's cookbook, p. 11. I love you! -- kyungsoo'
His mom's cookbook is a bit dusty due to lack of use, but he manages to dig it out of their bookcase. He flips to the page and sees a picture of himself in the practice room. It's just him there, staring intently at the mirror. He wonders when this picture was taken, and flips it over to the back to read Kyungsoo's writing.
'you don't know about this picture but it's the first time I ever saw you outside of school. you looked so tired, but so focused, so I took a photo of you with my phone. I thought it was sort of inspirational. and it might sound silly, but seeing how thin you were made we want to cook for you. but that's not the point. the point is that I've loved you from day one, jongin.'
--
'I know you don't like reading, but there's a book on the top shelf of your closet that I left for you. it's one of my favorites. it's not very long. you should read it too. I love you! -- kyungsoo'
The book is The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry and Jongin wonders how he'll manage reading it in English. But he tries anyway, just for Kyungsoo, with a translator by his side. At the end of the book, there's a a little bookmark. The handwriting on it is unmistakenly Kyungsoo's.
'I'll come back for you, my rose.'
--
'remember that playlist you made me for our first month anniversary? I still have it. play song number five. it's my favorite :) I love you! -- kyungsoo'
Jongin opens his iTunes. The playlist is still there, entitled Kyungsoo's. He finds track five, but stops when he sees it's not the same one. Track five has been moved down to six, and in its place is the same song but with no artist name.
He double-clicks and the voice is unforgettable because it's Kyungsoo's and he's singing their song.
--
'it's snowing today! remember our last snowball fight? I got sick afterwards and you made me soup. while I waited, I played on your laptop. look at your pictures! I love you! -- kyungsoo'
There are a lot of pictures on his laptop from various occasions, many with him and Kyungsoo as the main subject. It's hard to find whatever photo Kyungsoo is talking about, but then he sees a random folder with a heart in its title. He opens it, and there's only one picture there.
It's Kyungsoo, huddled up in a blanket, his nose red. He's smiling though, and his hands are making a heart shape. Jongin doesn't need a message for this one.
-------
Fourteen weeks pass, but it feels like years. Kyungsoo calls every now and then, but it's never enough. He wants more than a voice now - he wants a body, warmth, kisses. He's selfish when it comes to Kyungsoo.
But tomorrow will be brighter because it's the first day of Winter Break and Kyungsoo will be arriving at the airport at 2:00 PM tomorrow. Jongin can see it now - Kyungsoo arriving, running into Jongin's arm with tears streaming down his face, pressing salty kisses everywhere while saying 'I missed you' over and over.
He's getting ready for bed when he gets a text.
'remember that sweater I bought you last christmas? you should wear it when you come pick me up, ok? :) I love you! -- kyungsoo'
Jongin blinks. Of course he remembers that jacket - he's been wearing it day after day ever since the weather turned cold. His mom had to talk him out of handing it over to be washed. He was going to wear that jacket regardless, but wonders why Kyungsoo wants him to wear it anyway.
The drive there, Jongin thinks about the past fourteen messages from Kyungsoo. He wonders how the older remembers all these things, and how he had the time to plan all of this. He laughs a little because he really is selfish for keeping Kyungsoo all to himself when he deserves so much better, but he can't help it.
Kyungsoo is a part of his life now, embedded in his soul.
It's almost 1:50 PM now and Jongin is parked outside. He steps out, palms sweaty and heart racing. Months have passed now - the longest they've ever been separated - and Jongin's anxious. He wonders if anything's changed, if Kyungsoo still loves him as much.
But when he sees Kyungsoo emerge from the crowd, a single suitcase in tow with a bright smile on his face, he remembers all the reminders Kyungsoo left, every single 'I love you!' Kyungsoo texted him every night, and he knows nothing has changed.
He wants to run towards Kyungsoo but knows that'll probably be a mistake in this crowd. He has to hold back his nerves as he watches Kyungsoo hurry his way through the crowd, until finally -
"Hi."
Kyungsoo falls into his arms, and Jongin envelops him as fast as he can with his arms. He still remembers how it felt holding Kyungsoo in his arms, comforting yet exhilirating because Kyungsoo always takes his breath away, even without meaning to.
"I missed you," Jongin breathes, and it's hard to speak because he missed Kyungsoo so much.
Kyungsoo smiles and kisses his neck softly, whispering, "I missed you, too," and it heats up Jongin despite the winter chill. He's tugging Kyungsoo's suitcase for him towards the car when Kyungsoo stops him and pulls at his right arm.
"What are you -"
"Look," Kyungsoo says, beaming softly as he holds up the arm. And what do you know - sewed to Jongin's sweater's sleeve is a small red heart underneath the cuff. It has D.K. on it in white cursive letters.
"I -" Jongin doesn't know what to say. He can't stop staring at it.
"So that you remember I'm always there, I always love you," Kyungsoo says, interlacing his fingers with Jongin's like a promise. "It's my heart on your sleeve."
•a/n: you can be separated from the people you care about but still be there, you know ^^ umm this is unbetaed for now because I didn't want this to be TOO late but I'll try to have someone read this over for me soon ;A; I know it's um... a bit... messy. and stuff. I'm sorry. but thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed! and feel better, rhea :)
(the little prince reference about the rose is that the little prince leaves his rose to explore the world. but he misses it, and goes back to it and his little planet in the end. I dunno if it was supposed to be viewed as romantic in the text, but uhh yeah. that's the allusion for this story. huzzah even though it might be wrong oops. and I didn't write FOURTEEN texts for the fourteen weeks because THAT'S TOO MUCH and I didn't have that many ideas ;_; I'm sorry. and I don't like the format of this fic but oh well...)