Dent: The Revised Ground Rules
So, last night I come home to find Dent smashing my things and screaming something about a list. Deciding I was far, far too sober to deal with Harvey's feelings (and because he'd already smashed his way through the mini-bar), I went out. When I came back, I found him curled in the wreckage of my TV, sobbing about how he'd raped Bruce Wayne.
What. The. Fuck?
This puts me in an awkward position, Dent. Because on one hand, I do find your commentary on Law and Order to be very insightful and Superman won't try anything if you're around. On the other hand, you're fucking crazy. And you snore. And I'm fairly certain you're drinking again. So with all of that in mind, I am putting you on roommate probation and adding to the rules.
10. Stop raping people. I find it mind-boggling to have to add this, but there you are. Stop raping people.
11. Two-face is not allowed to come out. The only reason I gave up on killing you is that you're such a loser most of the time that you pose no threat. But keep your alter ego on a tight leash. If I wake up to find him standing over me with a gun one night, I'm throwing you out. Preferably through the window.
12. Don't touch my alcohol.
Also, you owe me $20,000.00 for the damage you did to my property. And I suppose I will defend you from Bruce Wayne, and Tony Stark, and Jonathan Crane, if only because I find them about as equally annoying as you and I'm eager to see if the penthouse can withstand a seige.