All right
Okay. All right.
Does anyone know where I am?
I think I crushed the GPS on my Blackberry. I appear to be in a desert somewhere. Yeah. That's a cactus. Oh God.
Okay. Moving away from the vomit-covered cactus now.
I will analyze this situation calmly and methodically.
Stomach: In pain. Filled with booze and pretzels and possibly Jell-O.
Head: An angry, angry, miniature Kryptonian is eating my brain. Still bald.
Liver: Still there. Surprisingly hardy.
Internal Organs in General: Have not been stolen. Will not have to mine a clone for organs. That has to be good for karma.
Clothing: Barefoot. Shirt missing a sleeve. Pants torn along the leg. Belt missing. Am wearing a large, glittery jacket.
Wallet: Missing. Suspect Two-face or Kitty.
Skin: "Power Girl was here" written on my thigh. Large Batsymbol on my chest. Rage building.
Situation: Dire. Can hear a coyote howling nearby
Plan:
Step 1: Get home.
1A. Signal LexCorp helicoptors
1B. Or shout Superman's name until he finds me and I throw up on him,
1C. Or kill coyote. Fashion a suit from its pelt. Live in a cave. Build a power suit from a box of scraps so Tony Stark will shut up.
Step 2: Drink my Hangover Cure. Crawl into bed and sleep for three days.
Step 3: Profit. Seek vengeance.
Step 4: Consider modifying my drinking habits so that this does not happen again.