An Early Morning, And A Late Start
Here it is, almost 1pm.
I am just now finding the time to sit down, and write. And, you all know how I prefer to write in the morning. Writing at this time of the day makes me cranky.
There are a few other things, about today, that have me cranky, as all hell. First, I woke up way too damned early, this morning. Five in the morning...that is just not right, in any way, shape, or form. Second, my foot is hurting to high hell. I twisted my ankle, on my way out of the house this morning. I had an 8 o'clock appointment. Third, I have not had the opportunity to play with yarn, as of yet. Yarn and I have a funny relationship. I cannot make it through a day (without becoming an ass), without my yarn. Yet, yarn manages to drive me damn near crazy, almost every single day.
Cranky? Hell yes, I am cranky! An early morning, a doctor's appointment, and no yarn. How much more sadistic can today get?
Anyway...
Let's rewind. Let's go back to a time, where my life was peaceful. Let's go back to a simpler time, when yarn was bountiful. Grab some yarn, and a hook, and pop in your time machine, Ladies and Gentlemen. We are set, and ready to travel, back in time...
Welcome to "YESTERDAY."
There I was, sitting on the couch, in a pair of sweats, and my slouchiest, most comfortable tee shirt. Over the tee, a hideous red flannel, that I absolutely love. Mismatched socks adorned my feet. (I swear...I was the poster boy, for things one should NEVER wear.)
Beside me, yarn!
I psyched myself up, before even touching my size "I" hook. You got this, Michael. Yes...these wrist warmers do look like they will be a complete pain in the ass. Yes...the pattern is written, in a language that only VAGUELY resembles English. Yes...you have to do ribbing, with this specific project. But, you can do it. You know you can! And, when you are done, a reward awaits. How does a magarita sound?
I took a few deep breaths. I prayed to the Yarn Gods, asking for their help. I picked up my hook. You control the hook, Michael. The hook does not control you. The hook does not control you...The hook does not control...(Did the hook just flash me a wicked little glimmer, or was it merely my imagination?)
I began working on the Girl's Wrist warmers.
Everything was totally fine...It was a piece of cake.
For the part that covers the hand, you are basically creating a type of granny square. No biggie, there. Nothing new, to learn.
But, then I got to the part of this project, that covers the wrist.
Ok...let me run this by you. Maybe it is just me, this is lost on.
Here we go.
(Part of the pattern, as written in the book.)
Rnd 1: Ch 1, work one row sc evenly, around., working 1 sc in each chain 3 corner, 2 sc in each dc of edging, and 4 sc across front and back.
Ok...what the hell!
You may think that this would make sense, if only you could see the rest of the pattern. You know what? You would be wrong. THERE IS NO FRIGGIN WAY THIS MAKES ONE DAMN BIT OF SENSE! You are supposed to wind up with 20 sc, at the end of this round. I just kept redoing this round, until I was finally lucky enough, to wind up with 20 sc. (Let me tell you, after 30 minutes of working on this damned round, well...suddenly my MONSTROUS afghan, didn't seem so monstrous. Suddenly, it seemed saintly.)
Just when I had finally had enough, I got it. I swore that if I had to work this FRIGGIN round, one more time, I would go daffy. Luckily, it did not get to that. I ended my round, FINALLY, with 20 sc. I could hear the Hallelujah Chorus, playing, all around me. I had done it! I had conquered the first round of the ribbing part, of the wrist warmer. I had managed to decipher the foreign language, this pattern was written in.
"LOOK AT THIS!" I screamed, like a total psycho. I shoved my work, in the direction of my book, as though it had eyes, that would see the wonder I had created. (Thank God I was home alone. This is yet another moment where, if my family was present, I am sure they would have had me committed.) A few days ago, I cried in front of my yarn. Yesterday, I laughed.
And, I can honestly say one thing. After getting past this confusing first round, the rest went quite smoothly. Ribbing is not all that difficult, after all. I kicked ribbing butt!
I am happy to tell you this. Yesterday, I was able to successfully finish one wrist warmer. I held the finished product in my hand, and admired what I had created. Damn, I thought, I'm good. The wrist warmer is PERFECT. That is all there is to it.
And let me tell you...Once I ditched the shamelessly tacky color choices, as dictated by the book, I discovered these wrist warmers can be made to look rather classy. Frosty green, hunter green, and black. Now, you must agree that sounds way better than the yarn colors, chosen by Marilyn Losee. I mean, did she get her inspiration for color, from a bag of Skittles, or something? I know kids like color...but c'mon. Even I can say, without a doubt in my mind, that 8 colors, for wrist warmers, is way beyond OVERKILL!
Ok...there it is. One wrist warmer down. Today, I once again will avoid my afghan. I will work on my last wrist warmer. Hopefully I can finish it, today. If I can, my project for the month is done, and that will give me the remainder of October to finish my afghan.
Well, that is it, for today. It is time for me to go, and try to make sense of this pattern, for the second time. Wish me luck.
Until tomorrow, my friends...
Happy crocheting!