Today, Part one of a million
Last night I actually came home feeling good. What happened afterwards isn't worth mentioning. Just sitting at a table in some overpriced coffeehouse talking about stuff was very relieving, even though i do not know the person I was talking to-didn't matter all that much. I came in the front door and was automatically dishonest, of course I was trapped against the walls of my own making. The events that transpired were accidental. I have done many things wrong the past two weeks but I am ready to FINALLY let it go. There is no more excitement there for me. What I like to talk about at my outpatient is what there is to do now. I am having a bit of a hard time. LIke today, I made a mistake on a test and now I have to wait a week to apply for this job. I was made and started beating myself up. I managed to calm myself down and made it my mission to get a fucking job. I did a fucking great job today to get over it. I did start praying a couple nights ago. I do not know why. I can't say what it is that I pray about but I pray.