Long Weekend
I kind of feel like I've wasted the day. I got up at 9 but stayed in bed until 11, which felt awful, I would have rather gotten up at 7 and gotten out of bed. Because now it's 4 and I find myself back in bed. It's different, I am on the computer now and sitting up, but I still feel weird. This morning it was the computer too, I was on the computer for two hours. I haven't done any homework. I have a ton of geometry which I don't get...I have more than I should because I messed up the whole weeks homework, and my teacher doesn't know but I'm just gonna redo it for my own good. But it's going to take forever combined with what he actually assigned us. I don't have any daunting Physics homework for once. And I did well on my English paper, so I don't have to worry about it. I took a Spanish quiz on Thursday, and I know for a fact I got at least four of the vocab questions wrong...I'm so stupid, it was VOCABULARY QUIZ, no conjugations or anything, and I still have to screw up. It's kind of OK though, because the entire class was acting like they did just as badly, even girls who do well usually. So maybe she'll curve it? Or say it doesn't count, and let us retake it. Whatever. I did well on the first spanish quiz...really well. Actually, I'm only doing semi-badly in Geometry and, well, I won't know about physics until I get the test back. I hate that I did so well in Algebra (who knows why? I just did well last year) and now I'm just sinking lower in the math/science department. It's funny though, the Math and Science offices are in the same room, separate from the others, and those are the ones I'm not as confident in. Maybe that's why my stomach drops when I pass there.
I hate this, I can't even write a blog post without stressing about school. I must sound so annoying. I just can't seem to focus without stressing. That's probably a problem. My family and I were discussing TM today (transcendental meditation). It's what the Beatles and the Farrow sisters were doing in India, Howard Stern does it, my mom's old friend did it. It sounds interesting...my mom knows a lot of stuff like that about yoga and meditation and Buddhism. She told us the Buddhist chant today. It was funny, because she's Jewish, but she reads a lot of books on these things and studies. I can relate, I guess, last year I read and studied a lot about Andy Warhol and the Factory and that whole 80's celebrity scene and era. And the art, and the music...It's not the same as studying about Buddhism and meditation techniques, but it's the idea of finding something that interests you and pursuing it...or learning about it. It's an admirable characteristic, I would say, having an interest. Not like mine, mine was short lived and it wasn't creative, but if you're really into politics or religion or a language or something...I love that...when someones really knowledgeable on something.
I got a message from Ethan, I'm supposed to see him and his friends today I think but I don't have his number so I'm sort of just sitting here. I don't know if I'd call him if I did have his number. I hate calling people, and I don't love it that much when people call me. It depends on the person and the situation and the length of the call. i don't like long telephone calls. I never know how to end them. On TV, the people always seem to end telephone calls so abruptly. "Mom's in the room, call you back later." Then they turn the phone off really quickly. When that happens in real life the person on the end says "Ok, bye" and the speaker says "Bye" then one of them hangs up. It's not abrupt. That might be uncomfortable.
It doesn't really matter though, no one calls me that much anyway. I'm not complaining, I'm too busy doing other things. I don't do much, but I'm too busy to worry about how to end a phone call. That's why I like the internet. I go on the internet way too much. My internet was broken for most of this week, and my computer was kept out of my room, because people were working on it every day. I was allowed to have it in my room, of course, it was just too much of a hassle. Either way, it was great, I never digressed, I did all my homework on time, I felt virtuous and good and everything. But it was a little annoying when I needed to email documents or type things up for school or when I didn't know where the Triple Trio rehearsal was and Lucy was on a plane and I didn't know Bear's cell and I was way too nervous to call any of the other people who might know at their homes. I got lucky though, Bear called my cell for me and told me...but if I had had the internet I could have IMed someone. I guess I feel more comfortable IMing people...why is that?
I'm also obsessed with Friendster, but I go on for a few minutes then go off. It's not the same as my internet addiction, I need to learn how to sign off, let go. It sounds funny, but every once in a while it worries me, like when I play 31 games of solitaire in a row, I get nervous I'll never hold a job or something. I know I'm such a drama queen and I totally overreact, I'm aware. I can't help it!
This became such a weirdly down entry...I'm not actually that sad or anything. I'm actually pretty happy. Just kind of worried. Oh, god, I don't even know. I wish I were in New York.
Hope everyone is more productive than I am,
S
I hate this, I can't even write a blog post without stressing about school. I must sound so annoying. I just can't seem to focus without stressing. That's probably a problem. My family and I were discussing TM today (transcendental meditation). It's what the Beatles and the Farrow sisters were doing in India, Howard Stern does it, my mom's old friend did it. It sounds interesting...my mom knows a lot of stuff like that about yoga and meditation and Buddhism. She told us the Buddhist chant today. It was funny, because she's Jewish, but she reads a lot of books on these things and studies. I can relate, I guess, last year I read and studied a lot about Andy Warhol and the Factory and that whole 80's celebrity scene and era. And the art, and the music...It's not the same as studying about Buddhism and meditation techniques, but it's the idea of finding something that interests you and pursuing it...or learning about it. It's an admirable characteristic, I would say, having an interest. Not like mine, mine was short lived and it wasn't creative, but if you're really into politics or religion or a language or something...I love that...when someones really knowledgeable on something.
I got a message from Ethan, I'm supposed to see him and his friends today I think but I don't have his number so I'm sort of just sitting here. I don't know if I'd call him if I did have his number. I hate calling people, and I don't love it that much when people call me. It depends on the person and the situation and the length of the call. i don't like long telephone calls. I never know how to end them. On TV, the people always seem to end telephone calls so abruptly. "Mom's in the room, call you back later." Then they turn the phone off really quickly. When that happens in real life the person on the end says "Ok, bye" and the speaker says "Bye" then one of them hangs up. It's not abrupt. That might be uncomfortable.
It doesn't really matter though, no one calls me that much anyway. I'm not complaining, I'm too busy doing other things. I don't do much, but I'm too busy to worry about how to end a phone call. That's why I like the internet. I go on the internet way too much. My internet was broken for most of this week, and my computer was kept out of my room, because people were working on it every day. I was allowed to have it in my room, of course, it was just too much of a hassle. Either way, it was great, I never digressed, I did all my homework on time, I felt virtuous and good and everything. But it was a little annoying when I needed to email documents or type things up for school or when I didn't know where the Triple Trio rehearsal was and Lucy was on a plane and I didn't know Bear's cell and I was way too nervous to call any of the other people who might know at their homes. I got lucky though, Bear called my cell for me and told me...but if I had had the internet I could have IMed someone. I guess I feel more comfortable IMing people...why is that?
I'm also obsessed with Friendster, but I go on for a few minutes then go off. It's not the same as my internet addiction, I need to learn how to sign off, let go. It sounds funny, but every once in a while it worries me, like when I play 31 games of solitaire in a row, I get nervous I'll never hold a job or something. I know I'm such a drama queen and I totally overreact, I'm aware. I can't help it!
This became such a weirdly down entry...I'm not actually that sad or anything. I'm actually pretty happy. Just kind of worried. Oh, god, I don't even know. I wish I were in New York.
Hope everyone is more productive than I am,
S