(no subject)
I've been so busy lately I never have time to update this anymore. The past weekend was a blast. We had our first 3 shows with Carl and Chris. Things went very well, even the 3 hour drive to NH ( It was worth it for the discovery of BK Angus burgers ). I feel the band is also alot closer with this new membership, which makes things alot more enjoyable, and we almost function as family.
I really have some great friends, though some I have lost touch with, and others well, have faded into not much more than mere aquaintances. I think for once in my life I am moving forward. My life finally seems purposeful, with the band, the job, school in the future, as well as the people I surround myself with. My friends have even mentioned they have noticed a change in me. The other night, Peterson brought up how I act different now that I no longer associate my self with Joe, Steve, Geoff. It really got me thinking. In a way I try to forget that chapter in my life, though it had a profound effect on me, in ways good and bad. It's true that Joe, like Jim has always been, was a one of a kind friend. One that I could relate to and one that could relate to me. I guess it makes sense then why both of us could walk away from a close friendship of 5 years without saying a word. It's almost like a relationship with a girl. You each mean so much to each other, but when everything comes to an end, it's hard and fast, and it takes a while to even be able to look back. It's that chapter in your life you pretend didn't exist. But it's those chapters, and people in your life, that shape who you are, and who you have become- whether you know or like it it or not. No matter how happy you are at a given time, the past, the good ol' times always seem happier. We always look back on the past as the way things should be. We yearn for the bliss we once felt as children, and we are depressed by the reality that we can't return to our past, no matter how hard we try.
I don't know what point I am trying to make. In a way, closing that one chapter of my life has brought me a new sense of self, a new sense of purpose, and a new happiness. The best I can relate it to breaking free of a chain around my ankle. I can move on, but do I regret it? In some ways I do, but it may just be the normal part of the human complex to look back on what we once had, and miss it. For the most part, I go most of the day, feeling refreshed not even thinking of these people. I had to step away. I was being held back. I couldn't take the attitudes and drama, or the ups and down. I was in an emotional slump, left without a clue as of what to do. In a way maybe I ran away. But perhaps, I needed that run to get back in shape.
I really have some great friends, though some I have lost touch with, and others well, have faded into not much more than mere aquaintances. I think for once in my life I am moving forward. My life finally seems purposeful, with the band, the job, school in the future, as well as the people I surround myself with. My friends have even mentioned they have noticed a change in me. The other night, Peterson brought up how I act different now that I no longer associate my self with Joe, Steve, Geoff. It really got me thinking. In a way I try to forget that chapter in my life, though it had a profound effect on me, in ways good and bad. It's true that Joe, like Jim has always been, was a one of a kind friend. One that I could relate to and one that could relate to me. I guess it makes sense then why both of us could walk away from a close friendship of 5 years without saying a word. It's almost like a relationship with a girl. You each mean so much to each other, but when everything comes to an end, it's hard and fast, and it takes a while to even be able to look back. It's that chapter in your life you pretend didn't exist. But it's those chapters, and people in your life, that shape who you are, and who you have become- whether you know or like it it or not. No matter how happy you are at a given time, the past, the good ol' times always seem happier. We always look back on the past as the way things should be. We yearn for the bliss we once felt as children, and we are depressed by the reality that we can't return to our past, no matter how hard we try.
I don't know what point I am trying to make. In a way, closing that one chapter of my life has brought me a new sense of self, a new sense of purpose, and a new happiness. The best I can relate it to breaking free of a chain around my ankle. I can move on, but do I regret it? In some ways I do, but it may just be the normal part of the human complex to look back on what we once had, and miss it. For the most part, I go most of the day, feeling refreshed not even thinking of these people. I had to step away. I was being held back. I couldn't take the attitudes and drama, or the ups and down. I was in an emotional slump, left without a clue as of what to do. In a way maybe I ran away. But perhaps, I needed that run to get back in shape.