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In totally surprising and bizarre news. Summer went and like got married this weekend in Las Vegas. Totally surprised me, she didn't seem like the type. Or I don't know, I don't know her that well, but still. Then again, as a girl who's sporting a promise ring and um completely knows that I'll be with Nick forever already, I kinda get it. Not that I would ever want to do something like that. Schools a pain in the ass enough as it is, it's why we get to live with our parents until we're 18 if we're lucky. So they can worry about our living needs while we concentrate on learning the stuff we need to know about in order to survive out in the world once we're kicked out by our parent um or like go off to college or whatever we decide to do after graduation. So like getting married before our free ride is up? Seems kind of silly.
On the other hand, and heres where I look crazy. In a way I already sorta feel practically married. Cause like Nick is my best friend, I tell him everything, and I'm closer to him that anyone else I know. We have plans, that includes a puppy, we go on trips together even when we are out of our minds, and he even put me on his insurance! Add to that, the um other stuff, and I don't see how its any different than my parents? Well except we don't really fight at all. Plus you know the whole king and queen things and just knowing we're destined to be together. So what was my point oh yeah aside from technically, we're already married in a non weird cause I'm only just about to be 17 and still in high school way.
And totally if Nick like became an Army person, and there was a chance he could like go to war and stuff I would totally want to be there for him legally. I hear all these stories on the news about these troops that are shipped off to Iraq. A lot of those men and women married their signifigant others so that if something happened to them. I don't know if thats why Summer did it. But I know I would if I were in her shoes. Besides Eric seemed cool at New Years. I'm sure Summer knows what she is doing. And well you know how messed up our school is. Of course the rumor mill was spinning. I totally got pissy at the people who where talking shit. Summers way too smart to get pregnant, I totally don't believe thats why they did it.
So lets see now that I have expounded on the virtues of teen marriage. What else is new? Grades came out. No surprises there. Didn't make the deans list but hey thats not my thing. B's will work. Kinda miss choir it was a gauranteed A. Nick was a little freaked cause he got an A- but it was a computer glitch. So he's still definitely on the honor roll and stuff.
Speaking of Nick. He looks like he hasn't been sleeping a lot lately. When I asked him about it he said he was having bad dreams about vampires. Thats completely understandable. With all he's been through. I wish I could make it better, I have been looking into sleeping spells and stuff. I was hoping that the charm I made him for Christmas would help. But I dont know maybe the magic is wearing of, or maybe I didn't do it right or something. I wish I could give him peaceful sleep.
Marcus doesn't seem to be doing much better. He's been avoidy. Which is weird cause I thought, well I thought he wouldn't do that I'm in Marcus world thing anymore at least not around us. It's kinda like the way Nick said he was after what happens to his parents. I'm hoping him and I talking about, about what his dad did didn't make him start thinking about again, making him retreat into his painting and stuff. Cause I would feel bad for dredging all that up again.
I called Eva this weekend. Cause I knew she was coming back, but you know I didnt want to be pushy about the car thing. She sounded good. But said Grandma was visiting. Which okay, Grandma can also come to this dimension to visit? Eva said yes she brought her home. Which cool. That would probably make Eva happy, cause she misses her a lot. So we'll have to do the car thing and dinner another time. Which is cool cause like between spending not nearly enough time with Nick(though totally don't want to turn into clingy girlfriend), school, work and Harry Potter 101 with Willow and Tara, I've been kind of busy too.
I had to work tonight, but on my way home I'm stopping at this house Nick was telling me about that would be perfect for them to rent. He didn't get to look inside but he said it even had a yard for the puppy! It's on Charleston Street and I'm so totally sitting in front of it now and it is cool!
I cautiously walk up the door knowing that its damn stupid even to be thinking about looking at a house after dark. But I want to see it the inside of it. I push the door open and step inside fishing around the wall for a light switch. The door closes behind me before I can turn them on. I find and switch on the lights but its not that bright, difinitely needs new light bulbs. I walk a little further into the house looking around. A voice whispers amused in her ear, just enough to stir the hair on her neck. "Hello Tres, I've missed you"
I'm frozen, recognzing the voice. "what are you doing here?"
"Didn't you miss me? I know I have dreamed about seeing you again." Theres a light touch on my hair, almost a caress, "Remembering how you would deliver yourself to me I had to come back, finish our experience together."
I swing around to face him "No, I haven't missed you. And I was never going to deliver myself to you." stepping back from him. "theres nothing to finish"
He smirks, amused. "Then why haven't you run away? You say you hate me and that there's nothing there but here you are standing in front of me not leaving." He catches my wrist in his hand and smiles wider. "We are a pair, you wanting all the pain I can give you. Didn't you give away your charms and protections? Didn't you let me take you away?" He turns me to see the room is the one he took me to before, my blood still stains the wood floor. "Welcome back."
I feel the panic rising in the back of my throat "I didn't have a choice. I couldn't let you hurt anyone else cause of me" He snuggles against my back while I'm frozen, paralized by fear.
"So you gave yourself to me. You didn't tell anyone so they could protect themselves, you just set it up so I could take you and they would never know why." He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. "And you are here to do it again. Where should I start this time? should we finish the things we didn't do because I was concentrating too much on blood?"
I'm cringing at his touch, "That isn't what I did. I didn't tell anyone cause I didn't want them to kn...have to be afraid." I try to push myself away from him. "I don't know why I'm here, but its not to be with you."
His voice just barely loud enough to be heard, it's like the voice I hear in my head like it's almost coming from me, "Didn't want them to know, didn't want them to see what you are" He gives a low chuckle "You knew they would leave you if they saw you for what you really are."
"They would never leave me. Nick loves me, he wouldn't leave me" My voice is quiet, pleading, trying to convince myself and him "They know who I really am, theres nothing else to see."
He mocks me with laughter. "Who are you trying to convince Tres? Did you ever tell him why you didn't want him call you that anymore?" slowly turning me the other way as he speaks "Did you tell him because it's my pet name for you and you don't like to hear it on anyone else's lips?"
I feel sick "Not because I liked you calling me that. Because I didn't want to be reminded of you, when he said it"
"But you never told them, never told them our secret Tres. But I did, I invited them to see, they didn't believe me but now they've seen. Seen how you didn't run and let me touch you." He finishes turning me around so I can see Nick and Marcus, Tori and Eva and Cristoff in the doorway. They are all looking at me like I make them sick. They see who I really am. They know theres something wrong with me, a reason why he comes back to hurt me. That I like this, that I like being hurt by him. One by one they walk away in disgust, all the time while I'm begging them that I'm not. I didn't ask for this. Then theres only Nick here. He can barely look at me.
"I loved you. All this time you kept this hidden from me. You were this sick person. I felt bad for you, I tried to protect you, and all this time you liked this. You lied to me you promised me you would fight him and then you walked out into that field where he could get to you and you let yourself get attacked by vamps. You went out there to meet him without your charm on, you were giving youself up to him just like he said. Cause you wanted him to hurt you."
I'm crying telling him over and over that it wasn't like that, that he's wrong about me. He looks at me with hate in his eyes, "All of this, was your fault. Him taking you, you let him beat you, letting him come into your room, threaten your sisters, us, summoning him back into our lives, Stafslien being put in a coma, wishing the vamps back their souls. All that was your fault, you did that."
He turns to leave, turning back to say "I cant believe I ever loved someone like you, that I touched you. You make me sick. Stay the hell away from me. Go let Josh fuck with your head, I know thats what you like."
I watch him walk out the door and I hear Josh laughing behind me. "See Tres baby, they saw you for what you are. And you thought they would stick around." He's still laughing as I'm screaming for Nick to stop, not to believe this, not to go. Trying to stop him I go running for the door turning the knob
Shit, it's late and Moms gonna freak and think I crashed her car. I should really come back to look at the house during the day anyways. Like I need to tempt fate by running into something all vampy or demon~y. Maybe Nick and I can come look at it together one of these days. That'd be cool. Gah, I feel like I could sleep for a week.
On the other hand, and heres where I look crazy. In a way I already sorta feel practically married. Cause like Nick is my best friend, I tell him everything, and I'm closer to him that anyone else I know. We have plans, that includes a puppy, we go on trips together even when we are out of our minds, and he even put me on his insurance! Add to that, the um other stuff, and I don't see how its any different than my parents? Well except we don't really fight at all. Plus you know the whole king and queen things and just knowing we're destined to be together. So what was my point oh yeah aside from technically, we're already married in a non weird cause I'm only just about to be 17 and still in high school way.
And totally if Nick like became an Army person, and there was a chance he could like go to war and stuff I would totally want to be there for him legally. I hear all these stories on the news about these troops that are shipped off to Iraq. A lot of those men and women married their signifigant others so that if something happened to them. I don't know if thats why Summer did it. But I know I would if I were in her shoes. Besides Eric seemed cool at New Years. I'm sure Summer knows what she is doing. And well you know how messed up our school is. Of course the rumor mill was spinning. I totally got pissy at the people who where talking shit. Summers way too smart to get pregnant, I totally don't believe thats why they did it.
So lets see now that I have expounded on the virtues of teen marriage. What else is new? Grades came out. No surprises there. Didn't make the deans list but hey thats not my thing. B's will work. Kinda miss choir it was a gauranteed A. Nick was a little freaked cause he got an A- but it was a computer glitch. So he's still definitely on the honor roll and stuff.
Speaking of Nick. He looks like he hasn't been sleeping a lot lately. When I asked him about it he said he was having bad dreams about vampires. Thats completely understandable. With all he's been through. I wish I could make it better, I have been looking into sleeping spells and stuff. I was hoping that the charm I made him for Christmas would help. But I dont know maybe the magic is wearing of, or maybe I didn't do it right or something. I wish I could give him peaceful sleep.
Marcus doesn't seem to be doing much better. He's been avoidy. Which is weird cause I thought, well I thought he wouldn't do that I'm in Marcus world thing anymore at least not around us. It's kinda like the way Nick said he was after what happens to his parents. I'm hoping him and I talking about, about what his dad did didn't make him start thinking about again, making him retreat into his painting and stuff. Cause I would feel bad for dredging all that up again.
I called Eva this weekend. Cause I knew she was coming back, but you know I didnt want to be pushy about the car thing. She sounded good. But said Grandma was visiting. Which okay, Grandma can also come to this dimension to visit? Eva said yes she brought her home. Which cool. That would probably make Eva happy, cause she misses her a lot. So we'll have to do the car thing and dinner another time. Which is cool cause like between spending not nearly enough time with Nick(though totally don't want to turn into clingy girlfriend), school, work and Harry Potter 101 with Willow and Tara, I've been kind of busy too.
I had to work tonight, but on my way home I'm stopping at this house Nick was telling me about that would be perfect for them to rent. He didn't get to look inside but he said it even had a yard for the puppy! It's on Charleston Street and I'm so totally sitting in front of it now and it is cool!
I cautiously walk up the door knowing that its damn stupid even to be thinking about looking at a house after dark. But I want to see it the inside of it. I push the door open and step inside fishing around the wall for a light switch. The door closes behind me before I can turn them on. I find and switch on the lights but its not that bright, difinitely needs new light bulbs. I walk a little further into the house looking around. A voice whispers amused in her ear, just enough to stir the hair on her neck. "Hello Tres, I've missed you"
I'm frozen, recognzing the voice. "what are you doing here?"
"Didn't you miss me? I know I have dreamed about seeing you again." Theres a light touch on my hair, almost a caress, "Remembering how you would deliver yourself to me I had to come back, finish our experience together."
I swing around to face him "No, I haven't missed you. And I was never going to deliver myself to you." stepping back from him. "theres nothing to finish"
He smirks, amused. "Then why haven't you run away? You say you hate me and that there's nothing there but here you are standing in front of me not leaving." He catches my wrist in his hand and smiles wider. "We are a pair, you wanting all the pain I can give you. Didn't you give away your charms and protections? Didn't you let me take you away?" He turns me to see the room is the one he took me to before, my blood still stains the wood floor. "Welcome back."
I feel the panic rising in the back of my throat "I didn't have a choice. I couldn't let you hurt anyone else cause of me" He snuggles against my back while I'm frozen, paralized by fear.
"So you gave yourself to me. You didn't tell anyone so they could protect themselves, you just set it up so I could take you and they would never know why." He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. "And you are here to do it again. Where should I start this time? should we finish the things we didn't do because I was concentrating too much on blood?"
I'm cringing at his touch, "That isn't what I did. I didn't tell anyone cause I didn't want them to kn...have to be afraid." I try to push myself away from him. "I don't know why I'm here, but its not to be with you."
His voice just barely loud enough to be heard, it's like the voice I hear in my head like it's almost coming from me, "Didn't want them to know, didn't want them to see what you are" He gives a low chuckle "You knew they would leave you if they saw you for what you really are."
"They would never leave me. Nick loves me, he wouldn't leave me" My voice is quiet, pleading, trying to convince myself and him "They know who I really am, theres nothing else to see."
He mocks me with laughter. "Who are you trying to convince Tres? Did you ever tell him why you didn't want him call you that anymore?" slowly turning me the other way as he speaks "Did you tell him because it's my pet name for you and you don't like to hear it on anyone else's lips?"
I feel sick "Not because I liked you calling me that. Because I didn't want to be reminded of you, when he said it"
"But you never told them, never told them our secret Tres. But I did, I invited them to see, they didn't believe me but now they've seen. Seen how you didn't run and let me touch you." He finishes turning me around so I can see Nick and Marcus, Tori and Eva and Cristoff in the doorway. They are all looking at me like I make them sick. They see who I really am. They know theres something wrong with me, a reason why he comes back to hurt me. That I like this, that I like being hurt by him. One by one they walk away in disgust, all the time while I'm begging them that I'm not. I didn't ask for this. Then theres only Nick here. He can barely look at me.
"I loved you. All this time you kept this hidden from me. You were this sick person. I felt bad for you, I tried to protect you, and all this time you liked this. You lied to me you promised me you would fight him and then you walked out into that field where he could get to you and you let yourself get attacked by vamps. You went out there to meet him without your charm on, you were giving youself up to him just like he said. Cause you wanted him to hurt you."
I'm crying telling him over and over that it wasn't like that, that he's wrong about me. He looks at me with hate in his eyes, "All of this, was your fault. Him taking you, you let him beat you, letting him come into your room, threaten your sisters, us, summoning him back into our lives, Stafslien being put in a coma, wishing the vamps back their souls. All that was your fault, you did that."
He turns to leave, turning back to say "I cant believe I ever loved someone like you, that I touched you. You make me sick. Stay the hell away from me. Go let Josh fuck with your head, I know thats what you like."
I watch him walk out the door and I hear Josh laughing behind me. "See Tres baby, they saw you for what you are. And you thought they would stick around." He's still laughing as I'm screaming for Nick to stop, not to believe this, not to go. Trying to stop him I go running for the door turning the knob
Shit, it's late and Moms gonna freak and think I crashed her car. I should really come back to look at the house during the day anyways. Like I need to tempt fate by running into something all vampy or demon~y. Maybe Nick and I can come look at it together one of these days. That'd be cool. Gah, I feel like I could sleep for a week.