Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
Nick asked me to go away with him this weekend for Valentines day. Skiing in Lake Tahoe. He asked if I could cover going away like that with the 'rents. And really I was kinda hard pressed to come up with an idea. So I just sorta embellished the truth a little. I said skiiing, Tahoe, friends. That kinda thing. And you know, I probably could have just told the truth, cause you know why would they think it'd be any different than any other time I have been away with Nick. But for some reason that felt like a complete abuse of trust, so I lied a little just to make up for it. Okay, it totally makes sense to me!
Yesterday, I took Marcus shopping to get Amber something very nice. Guys can be totally clueless somedays. And I bought Nick the guitar case that he's been looking at for a while now. I hope he likes it. After the shopping was done, Nick and I left for Lake Tahoe. The hotel that he booked us is really cool. The room has a Roman theme, he said he tried to get something that had like a Avalon theme but he just couldn't find one. Though I had to tease him when we pulled up and there was a wedding chapel smack dab across the street. I think he was expecting it though. I really tried to pull off pretending I thought thats what his intentions were, but I couldn't keep a straight face.
We've been having a good time, skiing and stuff. I haven't really been skiing lots before so he had to teach me how to stay out of the snow banks and you know not hit any trees. Oh and the ski lift thingie that brings you up the side of the mountain. Freaks me out. Apparently I have a minor fear of heights, that I hadn't realized before now cause um haven't been dangling a gazillion feet up in the air before. But Nick was cool and talked me through it. All and all it's been a perfect weekend so far, and again I'm not looking forward to having to go home.
Something else happened this weekend that made the weekend perfect. I should probably start at the beginning, but I'm not sure where that is. I guess I can start from where I acidentally got it out of Marcus that Nick wanted to be with me. As in be with me. I was a little disbelieving cause Nick and I talked about it, and we both said that when the time was right we'd both know. But thats the last we really talked about it. I'm not sure if something So, when I found that out and then Nick asked me on this trip, I thought maybe the possiblity might occur that we would, and I was and am totally happy with the thought.
But you know, I have issues like you know that everything I had ever been taught saying it was a sin and stuff if I did it before I was married. I mean I don't believe that, but its what I was taught. It's what my parents think. So when it came time to get an adult perspective, I went to Eva. She was like surprised that I would talk to her about it. Well, sheesh she's only one of my favorite adult people. She was cool talking to me. It was only somewhat embarrassing. But she let me just say what was going through my mind. And more importantly she didn't think I was walking into this with the wrong ideas.
So. This weekend, last night, Nick and I decided to make love for the first time. On the weekend before Valentines, on a trip up in the mountains with the snow and the cozy hotel room. I had heard around here and there that the first can kinda suck. But it didn't really, it was amazing and scary and romantic and exciting. Basically it was perfect even with the slight awkwardness of it all. I don't know. Everything is different yet the same. I couldn't love Nick more if I tried, but I love more every second. If it changes us at all I think it makes us closer. Not that we needed to have this to make us closer.
Okay at some point it just becomes rambling. I guess what I was trying to say is that it was beautiful and perfect, and I would take it back for anything. I'm not sure exactly what Nick is feeling. Heh, it'd be nice to have that spell or something that made people say what they were thinking or you know make me able to know what people were thinking. Now is not the time to dwell though, now just the time to be happy.
Yesterday, I took Marcus shopping to get Amber something very nice. Guys can be totally clueless somedays. And I bought Nick the guitar case that he's been looking at for a while now. I hope he likes it. After the shopping was done, Nick and I left for Lake Tahoe. The hotel that he booked us is really cool. The room has a Roman theme, he said he tried to get something that had like a Avalon theme but he just couldn't find one. Though I had to tease him when we pulled up and there was a wedding chapel smack dab across the street. I think he was expecting it though. I really tried to pull off pretending I thought thats what his intentions were, but I couldn't keep a straight face.
We've been having a good time, skiing and stuff. I haven't really been skiing lots before so he had to teach me how to stay out of the snow banks and you know not hit any trees. Oh and the ski lift thingie that brings you up the side of the mountain. Freaks me out. Apparently I have a minor fear of heights, that I hadn't realized before now cause um haven't been dangling a gazillion feet up in the air before. But Nick was cool and talked me through it. All and all it's been a perfect weekend so far, and again I'm not looking forward to having to go home.
Something else happened this weekend that made the weekend perfect. I should probably start at the beginning, but I'm not sure where that is. I guess I can start from where I acidentally got it out of Marcus that Nick wanted to be with me. As in be with me. I was a little disbelieving cause Nick and I talked about it, and we both said that when the time was right we'd both know. But thats the last we really talked about it. I'm not sure if something So, when I found that out and then Nick asked me on this trip, I thought maybe the possiblity might occur that we would, and I was and am totally happy with the thought.
But you know, I have issues like you know that everything I had ever been taught saying it was a sin and stuff if I did it before I was married. I mean I don't believe that, but its what I was taught. It's what my parents think. So when it came time to get an adult perspective, I went to Eva. She was like surprised that I would talk to her about it. Well, sheesh she's only one of my favorite adult people. She was cool talking to me. It was only somewhat embarrassing. But she let me just say what was going through my mind. And more importantly she didn't think I was walking into this with the wrong ideas.
So. This weekend, last night, Nick and I decided to make love for the first time. On the weekend before Valentines, on a trip up in the mountains with the snow and the cozy hotel room. I had heard around here and there that the first can kinda suck. But it didn't really, it was amazing and scary and romantic and exciting. Basically it was perfect even with the slight awkwardness of it all. I don't know. Everything is different yet the same. I couldn't love Nick more if I tried, but I love more every second. If it changes us at all I think it makes us closer. Not that we needed to have this to make us closer.
Okay at some point it just becomes rambling. I guess what I was trying to say is that it was beautiful and perfect, and I would take it back for anything. I'm not sure exactly what Nick is feeling. Heh, it'd be nice to have that spell or something that made people say what they were thinking or you know make me able to know what people were thinking. Now is not the time to dwell though, now just the time to be happy.