The CBC have been disappointing me lately with their noticable lack of crazy headlines (I think they must have fired the lackey who came up with ER delays tying up Edmonton paramedics). But good things come to those who wait, apparently, because this one is a true work of art. I have been laughing for ten minutes.

A Guardian article talking about federal government emissions.

Now, by analogy with the expressions "CO2 emissions", "greenhouse gas emissions", or "hydrocarbon emissions", that would mean...toxic substances being released into the air made up of tiny, invisible pieces of the federal government? I guess?

Most of the CBC entries on my headlines tag are unintentional double-entendres, but this one is just plain bad. [Note to the non-Canadians: the PQ and the ADQ are Québec political parties.] Who the hell writes these things?

I am in deep, abiding love with the ambiguity in the title of this blog post: "Why I Support Making Commissioners Wed Gays."

What? A commissioner who's not married to a gay person yet? HOW CAN THAT BE??? Don't you know it's part of the job description? To the altar with you, slacker!

Dion's aggressive tone raising eyebrows.

Dion's aggressive! Tone raising eyebrows!

Dion's aggressive, tone-raising eyebrows! [I dare you to picture it!]

(See, underneath my staid, academic exterior, I'm really just a big ol' goof.)

The CBC headline writers are at it again:

Advocates worry about bias towards homeless

That's right! These biases toward the homeless are completely unfair! Equal rights for wealthy suburbanites!

There's nothing at all funny about prostate cancer. Except when it's featured in a headline together with the phrase "Mr. Lube."

via shoshannagold.

Visa delays plague games for gays.

[Visa] [delays] [plague games for gays]? Wha?

Ah, [visa delays] [plague] [games for gays].

Phew.