just another heart ache on my list~
make up ur mind already. u say ull be there and listen and then u keep leaving right at the point where im about to spill my heart out to you. i do somethings wrong that might scare u away but i say im sry and to stick through it. makeup ur mind. tell me that u wont be able to be there. dont make me think that ur going to be there when ur not able to. dont hurt me and walk away from me as im sitting on the cold summent. dont let ur fear of me becoming dependent on u again get in away. im not going to get dependent becuz i know how to take care of myself and plus u are not reliable at all. i dont know what else to say becuz i dont even know if u will listen or not. i dont know if ull run or stay. i dont know if u pretend to be there get close and then run. well stop pretending. stop running. u have been running long enough dont run from me. i wont hurt u im getting too hurt by myself and u and other people.
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so yea i passed my writtent test yesterday and i got my permit today. yea so yea nothing is going on. im going to go cry or do something. iv been feeling so out of control lately. everything around me is out of control and i have barely ne control over the things i want control oer but will never have control. iv been cutting lately becuz it is the only thing that i an control. like how long or deep or what shapes or stuff like that. i dont know i dont want to spill my guts out people will run away an hide. even though im asking for someone to talk to. not to help me but to talk to me. so yea i onlyhave a few people i can go to and a few i know i can go to but wont becuz i dont want to or am scared to. and the one person that makes me feel safe i running and wont stop running .
ok got to go
EMILY
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so yea i passed my writtent test yesterday and i got my permit today. yea so yea nothing is going on. im going to go cry or do something. iv been feeling so out of control lately. everything around me is out of control and i have barely ne control over the things i want control oer but will never have control. iv been cutting lately becuz it is the only thing that i an control. like how long or deep or what shapes or stuff like that. i dont know i dont want to spill my guts out people will run away an hide. even though im asking for someone to talk to. not to help me but to talk to me. so yea i onlyhave a few people i can go to and a few i know i can go to but wont becuz i dont want to or am scared to. and the one person that makes me feel safe i running and wont stop running .
ok got to go
EMILY