Think of me when i think of you.
I guess i posted since sunday. But i really didn't elaborate. Just made specific on one subject. let me tell you the next chapter...
Church has to be the most amazing thing ever. I really really am glad that i am where i am. Even though i get frustrated and i get lost, i still seem to collide back into one figure with You. Seperate i saw war, touched fire, and fell far from the places where you lungs breathe...i was lost. And didn't seem to really matter. Then you took over, pushing aside problems that were never even mine. Allowing me the strength for what i should be encountering.....you. and him. and this. and everything is going to be okay.
For me to put into words how monday was can't be possible, because i don't even remember the first of what was going through my head. God saved me. If i didn't hand myself over to him i would have died...and not only would i of died but their life would have been sold. I just want everyone to forget about it and forget everything that it even was a thought. let it not even exist
Tuesday-Wednesday- ....lack of sleep. malnutrition. worry. fear. lack of faith but trying hard. confusion. fear. what else. i cannot remember. Just no sleep and too much thinking. Hours watching the tv muted. and the stereo low. laying in bed wasting hours of life. being uncomfortable with everything and wanting to help so bad but feeling so helpless. no sleep no being tired.
Thursday:Mpact. letting go of everything and just trying to be okay. crying. wanting things just to not be so heavy anymore. wanting to be able to be happy and still seem to care. Trying not to let the problem control me. being better about dealing with it.
trying not to make things a bigger deal than they are..
Church has to be the most amazing thing ever. I really really am glad that i am where i am. Even though i get frustrated and i get lost, i still seem to collide back into one figure with You. Seperate i saw war, touched fire, and fell far from the places where you lungs breathe...i was lost. And didn't seem to really matter. Then you took over, pushing aside problems that were never even mine. Allowing me the strength for what i should be encountering.....you. and him. and this. and everything is going to be okay.
For me to put into words how monday was can't be possible, because i don't even remember the first of what was going through my head. God saved me. If i didn't hand myself over to him i would have died...and not only would i of died but their life would have been sold. I just want everyone to forget about it and forget everything that it even was a thought. let it not even exist
Tuesday-Wednesday- ....lack of sleep. malnutrition. worry. fear. lack of faith but trying hard. confusion. fear. what else. i cannot remember. Just no sleep and too much thinking. Hours watching the tv muted. and the stereo low. laying in bed wasting hours of life. being uncomfortable with everything and wanting to help so bad but feeling so helpless. no sleep no being tired.
Thursday:Mpact. letting go of everything and just trying to be okay. crying. wanting things just to not be so heavy anymore. wanting to be able to be happy and still seem to care. Trying not to let the problem control me. being better about dealing with it.
trying not to make things a bigger deal than they are..