a moment of tranquility
I can't believe I almost forgot to write about this from the other day ...
So on Tuesday I was supposed to get together with someone to play tennis, but they became otherwise engaged, and ended up not being able to make it (it's important to note at this point that all of the courts were full, as well). I had bussed all the way across town to get there, and so was starting to get a little frustrated that I had 'wasted' my evening in doing so.
While I was there waiting, though, I was reading a copy of City Dharma that I had gotten out of the library. Specifically, I was reading an anecdote about the author leaving his huge Malibu apartment to go for a walk, and getting jealous of all the multi-million dollar homes that he walked past. He ended up not enjoying the walk at all, and when he got home he realized that this was because he was focusing on what he didn't have (a mansion), rather than what he did have (big Malibu apartment close to the beach, successful career, etc), and that as long as he continued that 'deficiency-based' thinking, that he would never truly be happy.
In that moment I realized my frustration in that moment was spinning from the same thing - I was focusing only on the fact that I wasn't playing tennis, rather than the fact that I had a chance to watch and learn from the tennis players that were playing (learning that is still sorely required, to be honest), as well as getting to sit out in absolutely beautiful weather conditions and read an enjoyable and insightful book. In that moment, and for the rest of the evening, my mind seemed perfectly clear and tranquil - it was this amazing tiny little zen moment.
So on Tuesday I was supposed to get together with someone to play tennis, but they became otherwise engaged, and ended up not being able to make it (it's important to note at this point that all of the courts were full, as well). I had bussed all the way across town to get there, and so was starting to get a little frustrated that I had 'wasted' my evening in doing so.
While I was there waiting, though, I was reading a copy of City Dharma that I had gotten out of the library. Specifically, I was reading an anecdote about the author leaving his huge Malibu apartment to go for a walk, and getting jealous of all the multi-million dollar homes that he walked past. He ended up not enjoying the walk at all, and when he got home he realized that this was because he was focusing on what he didn't have (a mansion), rather than what he did have (big Malibu apartment close to the beach, successful career, etc), and that as long as he continued that 'deficiency-based' thinking, that he would never truly be happy.
In that moment I realized my frustration in that moment was spinning from the same thing - I was focusing only on the fact that I wasn't playing tennis, rather than the fact that I had a chance to watch and learn from the tennis players that were playing (learning that is still sorely required, to be honest), as well as getting to sit out in absolutely beautiful weather conditions and read an enjoyable and insightful book. In that moment, and for the rest of the evening, my mind seemed perfectly clear and tranquil - it was this amazing tiny little zen moment.