(no subject)
So yeah to continue in my rough semester last night sucked too. I found out that what i thought was true. Rachel has a date this weekend, and while i'm really happy for her, the thought of someone else hanging out with her, holding her, and kissing her, is tearin me apart.
To make matters worse i have a huge test today in acct. if i fail this test i will probably fail for the year. So i took my medicine yesterday around 3 that way it would last till late last night. So i was studying really well until i found out about rachel's date. Then i couldn't concentrate even with my medicine so i'm fucked today.
But to make things even better my medicine is a stimulant, so i couldn't sleep at all last night. So i layed in bed for three hours thinking about this other guy dating rachel. Then i thought about my parents, my brothers, my grades, my scholarship, my complete failure at raising my grades so that i could study abroad, my failure with my brother andrew, my failure with my parents, my many failures with rachel, and my failures with my friends. Basically i felt like shit last night, and still continue to feel like shit today. Will this shit ever end, i'm really struggling to keep myself sane right now, i keep thinking well things can't get any worse, but they always manage to find a way with each new day.
I need a good weekend it may or may not happen. I have decided not to go to pioneer dance, because i just don't feel like dancing at a time like this, i'm worried about getting drunk, because when i get drunk i tend to tell people how i think, and what i'm going through. I don't want to do that because i hate being a downer to everyone, so i don't know what the hell i'm going to do.
Your prayers don't seem to be working, so you all can stop saying them. I appreciate them but if it doesn't work don't waste your breath.
To make matters worse i have a huge test today in acct. if i fail this test i will probably fail for the year. So i took my medicine yesterday around 3 that way it would last till late last night. So i was studying really well until i found out about rachel's date. Then i couldn't concentrate even with my medicine so i'm fucked today.
But to make things even better my medicine is a stimulant, so i couldn't sleep at all last night. So i layed in bed for three hours thinking about this other guy dating rachel. Then i thought about my parents, my brothers, my grades, my scholarship, my complete failure at raising my grades so that i could study abroad, my failure with my brother andrew, my failure with my parents, my many failures with rachel, and my failures with my friends. Basically i felt like shit last night, and still continue to feel like shit today. Will this shit ever end, i'm really struggling to keep myself sane right now, i keep thinking well things can't get any worse, but they always manage to find a way with each new day.
I need a good weekend it may or may not happen. I have decided not to go to pioneer dance, because i just don't feel like dancing at a time like this, i'm worried about getting drunk, because when i get drunk i tend to tell people how i think, and what i'm going through. I don't want to do that because i hate being a downer to everyone, so i don't know what the hell i'm going to do.
Your prayers don't seem to be working, so you all can stop saying them. I appreciate them but if it doesn't work don't waste your breath.