Nov 27, 2006 23:21
Just the funny ones, anyway. Or the ones I think are funny. Or just a little bit amusing. I really should remember to write stuff down.
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[Daisuke is an exchange student from Japan]
Someone: How do you say "bye" in Japanese?
Daisuke: *thinks* Bye-bye!
Kelly Astro: Think back to elementary school...what did your teachers give you on the first day of school?
Male student: A referral?
Geoff: ...I would never go to a bank called "Wamu".
Gabby: I need you to be more specific, not Atlantic.
[during breakout at Honors Symposium]
Someone: The Math and Physics building always smells funny.
Brittany Camp: That's because math majors smell funny.
[playing a trivia game during a social for Brittany's Campers]
Someone: What do the double zeroes in 007 mean?
Brittany: I don't know...his bra size?
[during Talk Like a Pirate Day, in front of the library]
Random pirate: Be a pirate! Get free ramen! Arrgh!
[at Fall Retreat]
Joanna: Thank God for Facebook.
Rebekah: Amen.
[during English]
Alex: *to Dan* So, tell me what you think about the issue in your opinion.
Dan: In my opinion?
Alex: No, in Stephanie's opinion.
[either Jessica or Julian said this...I think it was Jessica]
Jessica: *to me* That's because you're easy.......to pick on.
[driving back from the Halloween party....Randy is the only white person in the car, everyone else is Asian]
Randy: *singing to the radio* I'm white and nerdy, look at me, I'm white and nerdy.....hey, wait...
Shelly: *to me* Your neck looks red...
Me: I probably scratched it.
Arthur: Redneck?
Randy: Yeah, I know what you mean, when I get a thong stuck in my ear...uh, song...yeah, when I get a thong stuck in my ear.
Geoff: Well, it's not terrible...actually, let me rephrase that: it's terrible.
Brittany Camp: I bit my lip today...I was eating a bagel, and missed, and was like, eating my face.
[my boyfriend gets tired way too early]
Randy: My eyes are falling...
Me: Put them back in!
Brandon: Hurry up, time is passing... like my gas.
[ever wonder what roommates talk about?]
Lauren: Did you notice that the toilet paper changed?
Me: Uh, no.
Lauren: You should go look at it! It's actually really nice. The other toilet paper was crappy...you might as well be wiping with looseleaf paper.
Randy: When it's hot, you can only take off so many clothes before it's illegal.
[from the movie Waiting...]
Monty: Well, Alzheimer's can't be all bad...you get to meet new people every day.
[in my sister's World History class]
Kid: I wish I had my own midget.
Girl: How are you going to find a midget shorter than you?
Me: *pointing to doorway* We need to put some mistletoe right there.
My sister: Okay. *puts something up*
Me: That's not mistletoe.
My sister: It's white mistletoe.
Me: Why is it white?
My sister: *gangster voice* Because it can't keep a beat!