subject line quotes...
I wish I could remember more than just my subject lines. :-/ A lot of these aren't even that funny.
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[at Honors Orientation, registering for classes]
Me: *going on about how there's so much to take into considering when planning your schedule* ....and then there's lunch.
Geoff: *looks back at his schedule* I forgot about lunch.
Branden: You don't need to eat lunch.
[at orientation]
Aaron: So, how does it feel to be one of nine girls in the engineering college?
Ashley: Pretty good, actually!
Mom: What exactly is in each dorm room?
Ms. Lynn: A bed, a desk, and a BOY.
Steven: That's why they're my friends. 'Do I owe you five dollars?' 'What five dollars?' 'Never mind.'
Dad: Keanu who? Keanu Smith? Keanu Jones? Keanu Stool? I know lots of Keanus...my daughter plays one.
Kim: *playing a video game* It takes three seconds to turn around.
Me: And it takes two seconds for them to kill you.
Kim: The scale says I weigh 107 pounds, but if I stand on my left leg, suck in my stomach, and exhale slightly, I can get it down to 105.2.
[on our Europe cruise]
PA: We will be showing movies every night on the top desk. Tonight's movies are Titanic and Poseidon Adventure.
Mom: *pressing arrows, then starts pounding on the keyboard* AAAAHH!!
Me: Mom, it's just tetris.
Dad: *talking about Kim* She's very attentive.
Kim: What?
Steven H.: Seriously, the first thing I said when I found out that my room number was 123, was, "That's gonna be easy to remember when I'm drunk."
[I gave little statues of the Leaning Tower to my piano students after we came back from vacation]
Me: *handing her the statue* We actually saw this up close. It's called the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
Piano Student: *examining the statue* It's not leaning and it doesn't look like pizza.
[me and my sister were watching Quest for Camelot, the part where Garrett is singing through the forest and Kayley is trying her best to keep up]
Me: I would never be able to catch up with him.
Kim: Then he would have to stop singing.
Chris: Fourth grade was the best three years of his life.
[at a Filipino party]
Matthew: No offense, but what is up with your culture and karaoke?
[me and my sister were being very weird one day]
Me: You know, he blacksmith.
Kim: No..... he pirate!
Me: Cavemen of the Caribbean!
[reference to Garrett from Quest for Camelot]
Kim: If a hermit sings in the forest, and no one's around to hear him, does he make a sound?
[some friendly piano vs. flute rivalry]
Me: You can't play more than one note at a time.
Kim: Well... you can't take your piano apart in three pieces....without an axe.
[trying to get directions to my work by US1]
Me: How will I know if I've gone too far?
Dad: You'll see a sign that says, 'Welcome to Titusville'.
[teaching piano]
Me: See, this one's by Mozart, he's another famous composer.
Kaycee: I thought composers came from under the ground.
Me: ...that's compost.
[at karate]
Me: Hm, so where would you put your hands, to actually make that work?
Taran: Well, *demonstrating* I would probably put this hand here, and my other hand here, and then...twist. That's how I would do it, if I had to rip off my own head.
[after watching Step Up]
Me: Watching that movie makes me wish I could dance.
Steven: Psshh! .......yeah, me too.
[in my sister's health class]
Mrs. Bettis: You can't have a pizza party in Health class.
Kid: FINE, a salad party!
[after C Programming, with Professor Biswas]
Raquel: At first I thought he said 'fetus pounce', but after a while, I realized he meant free response'.
[in the music department]
Professor: *walking by, in a very nice suit*
Secretary: You know, you don't have to dress like that when you come in.
Professor: I know, I just wanted to get my students to respect me. *leaves*
Secretary: *to me* It's easy to tell he's a new teacher, isn't it?
[after the Crave meeting]
Guy: Oh, so you're Filipino?
Me: Well, half-Filipino.
Guy: Oh, you're a mix. Hey, Jon's half-Filipino too!
Shelly: Hey, then together, you make one WHOLE Filipino!
[talking about hand motions]
Joanna: *makes the hand motion for 'that went right over my head'* Yep, this means 'lost'.
Me: *makes hand motion again* It also means 'Shelly'.
Mom: Baby needs a prescription for his heartworm medicine...
Dad: What?? What would a dog need a prescription for? It's not like he's going to inject it in his veins or anything...
Jessica: *talking about Steven H.* I think he looks more like Dwight Eisenhower than a fetus.
----------------
[at Honors Orientation, registering for classes]
Me: *going on about how there's so much to take into considering when planning your schedule* ....and then there's lunch.
Geoff: *looks back at his schedule* I forgot about lunch.
Branden: You don't need to eat lunch.
[at orientation]
Aaron: So, how does it feel to be one of nine girls in the engineering college?
Ashley: Pretty good, actually!
Mom: What exactly is in each dorm room?
Ms. Lynn: A bed, a desk, and a BOY.
Steven: That's why they're my friends. 'Do I owe you five dollars?' 'What five dollars?' 'Never mind.'
Dad: Keanu who? Keanu Smith? Keanu Jones? Keanu Stool? I know lots of Keanus...my daughter plays one.
Kim: *playing a video game* It takes three seconds to turn around.
Me: And it takes two seconds for them to kill you.
Kim: The scale says I weigh 107 pounds, but if I stand on my left leg, suck in my stomach, and exhale slightly, I can get it down to 105.2.
[on our Europe cruise]
PA: We will be showing movies every night on the top desk. Tonight's movies are Titanic and Poseidon Adventure.
Mom: *pressing arrows, then starts pounding on the keyboard* AAAAHH!!
Me: Mom, it's just tetris.
Dad: *talking about Kim* She's very attentive.
Kim: What?
Steven H.: Seriously, the first thing I said when I found out that my room number was 123, was, "That's gonna be easy to remember when I'm drunk."
[I gave little statues of the Leaning Tower to my piano students after we came back from vacation]
Me: *handing her the statue* We actually saw this up close. It's called the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
Piano Student: *examining the statue* It's not leaning and it doesn't look like pizza.
[me and my sister were watching Quest for Camelot, the part where Garrett is singing through the forest and Kayley is trying her best to keep up]
Me: I would never be able to catch up with him.
Kim: Then he would have to stop singing.
Chris: Fourth grade was the best three years of his life.
[at a Filipino party]
Matthew: No offense, but what is up with your culture and karaoke?
[me and my sister were being very weird one day]
Me: You know, he blacksmith.
Kim: No..... he pirate!
Me: Cavemen of the Caribbean!
[reference to Garrett from Quest for Camelot]
Kim: If a hermit sings in the forest, and no one's around to hear him, does he make a sound?
[some friendly piano vs. flute rivalry]
Me: You can't play more than one note at a time.
Kim: Well... you can't take your piano apart in three pieces....without an axe.
[trying to get directions to my work by US1]
Me: How will I know if I've gone too far?
Dad: You'll see a sign that says, 'Welcome to Titusville'.
[teaching piano]
Me: See, this one's by Mozart, he's another famous composer.
Kaycee: I thought composers came from under the ground.
Me: ...that's compost.
[at karate]
Me: Hm, so where would you put your hands, to actually make that work?
Taran: Well, *demonstrating* I would probably put this hand here, and my other hand here, and then...twist. That's how I would do it, if I had to rip off my own head.
[after watching Step Up]
Me: Watching that movie makes me wish I could dance.
Steven: Psshh! .......yeah, me too.
[in my sister's health class]
Mrs. Bettis: You can't have a pizza party in Health class.
Kid: FINE, a salad party!
[after C Programming, with Professor Biswas]
Raquel: At first I thought he said 'fetus pounce', but after a while, I realized he meant free response'.
[in the music department]
Professor: *walking by, in a very nice suit*
Secretary: You know, you don't have to dress like that when you come in.
Professor: I know, I just wanted to get my students to respect me. *leaves*
Secretary: *to me* It's easy to tell he's a new teacher, isn't it?
[after the Crave meeting]
Guy: Oh, so you're Filipino?
Me: Well, half-Filipino.
Guy: Oh, you're a mix. Hey, Jon's half-Filipino too!
Shelly: Hey, then together, you make one WHOLE Filipino!
[talking about hand motions]
Joanna: *makes the hand motion for 'that went right over my head'* Yep, this means 'lost'.
Me: *makes hand motion again* It also means 'Shelly'.
Mom: Baby needs a prescription for his heartworm medicine...
Dad: What?? What would a dog need a prescription for? It's not like he's going to inject it in his veins or anything...
Jessica: *talking about Steven H.* I think he looks more like Dwight Eisenhower than a fetus.