Arrived in L.A.
It's not my first trip to L.A. and I doubt it will be my last. It's a stopover before Tokyo so M and I are staying here for a day before catching the flight over. The joys of using two different carriers. It's not my first time to Tokyo though the last time I went there was almost ten years ago so it's safe to assume it's changed quite a lot since then.
I'm not sure if I was always this disconcerted with a change of scenery or if it's just this trip since I've started on medication. I've mostly been consistent on it but I do have days where I slip up and forget or keep putting it off. I wonder if it was the bravdo of youth that kept me from feeling nervous like this. It's like I can't relax my guard. As I've explained a friend, with any mood disorders, routine is key to managing it. I did keep to my usual routine (caffeine, protein, shower, real clothes and water) but everything else seems alien. If I don't keep myself somewhat active by reading or writing, I find my attention wavers and I zone out and not in a good way.
Compared to other years though, I know I'm not as flexible in mind as I used to be or rather I'm not letting my mania do the driving. So I need to take little steps and I'm okay with that.
I'm not sure if I was always this disconcerted with a change of scenery or if it's just this trip since I've started on medication. I've mostly been consistent on it but I do have days where I slip up and forget or keep putting it off. I wonder if it was the bravdo of youth that kept me from feeling nervous like this. It's like I can't relax my guard. As I've explained a friend, with any mood disorders, routine is key to managing it. I did keep to my usual routine (caffeine, protein, shower, real clothes and water) but everything else seems alien. If I don't keep myself somewhat active by reading or writing, I find my attention wavers and I zone out and not in a good way.
Compared to other years though, I know I'm not as flexible in mind as I used to be or rather I'm not letting my mania do the driving. So I need to take little steps and I'm okay with that.