Houston, We Have a Problem
I started this LJ almost ten years ago during a trip to Hong Kong and other cities in Asia. I've been neglecting it quite a bit since I usually write in my paper journals but there are days typing seems more my speed. Reading some of my older posts, I realize how silly I must have been at an earlier age. At least I now know some of my worries were really just creations of my mind.
M was considering a move to Houston and wanted me to come along with him. If I had no other ties, that would be great but I had always intended to return to Alberta because my mother is there. It's not like my mother is on her deathbed but I want to spend more time with her because let's face it, she's the only family I have left and there's still so many questions and things that I've never talked over with her on. Things that I have a feeling I will regret one day if I don't do so.
There's a reason why I don't like making wishes out loud and am careful not use the word "wish" willy-nilly. Sometimes you get what you ask. I don't have to worry about Houston because of all things M is not going because I won't be able to get a work visa since we're not officially married. Even common law doesn't count for this so I'm relieved? Relieved doesn't sound quite right. Part of me is annoyed giving all the tumbles it took for me to make peace with the idea of moving to Houston. There are days I need space from social media (especially Tumblr) when it comes to personal issues like this because the vast majority of people on those sites are not speaking from the same experience.
I remember telling someone once that a relationship is compromising and composing because it's always going. It's never fixed in granite. I remember people telling me that long distance relationships would never work especially with a guy you started dating literally a month before you moved away. And last August we celebrated our fifth anniversary. I remember Shawn telling me that from what he was told long distance relationships never work and yet mine has. Now, mine's not the only one as I know one of my friends whose worked out (they married a couple years ago). I spent five years away and M stayed and stayed despite every out I gave him because I know long distance isn't for everyone. For that, I could move to Houston.
This is where the Tumblr voice is less than useful. What about your career? What about your friends and family? What about your safety? Your beliefs? There's the problem. It's not about me. It's about us. He's not forcing me to go, but if he moved there and I didn't, this relationship is not going anywhere. That would be unfair to him as a person and I have more respect for him than that.
Most of my friends have moved out of LJ but I think I'm going to start writing here more. I'll still do my usual stuff on Tumblr but for everything else, I'll stay here. I forgot how easy it was to type in LJ and let things out. For the next few weeks, I'll definitely be needing this.
M was considering a move to Houston and wanted me to come along with him. If I had no other ties, that would be great but I had always intended to return to Alberta because my mother is there. It's not like my mother is on her deathbed but I want to spend more time with her because let's face it, she's the only family I have left and there's still so many questions and things that I've never talked over with her on. Things that I have a feeling I will regret one day if I don't do so.
There's a reason why I don't like making wishes out loud and am careful not use the word "wish" willy-nilly. Sometimes you get what you ask. I don't have to worry about Houston because of all things M is not going because I won't be able to get a work visa since we're not officially married. Even common law doesn't count for this so I'm relieved? Relieved doesn't sound quite right. Part of me is annoyed giving all the tumbles it took for me to make peace with the idea of moving to Houston. There are days I need space from social media (especially Tumblr) when it comes to personal issues like this because the vast majority of people on those sites are not speaking from the same experience.
I remember telling someone once that a relationship is compromising and composing because it's always going. It's never fixed in granite. I remember people telling me that long distance relationships would never work especially with a guy you started dating literally a month before you moved away. And last August we celebrated our fifth anniversary. I remember Shawn telling me that from what he was told long distance relationships never work and yet mine has. Now, mine's not the only one as I know one of my friends whose worked out (they married a couple years ago). I spent five years away and M stayed and stayed despite every out I gave him because I know long distance isn't for everyone. For that, I could move to Houston.
This is where the Tumblr voice is less than useful. What about your career? What about your friends and family? What about your safety? Your beliefs? There's the problem. It's not about me. It's about us. He's not forcing me to go, but if he moved there and I didn't, this relationship is not going anywhere. That would be unfair to him as a person and I have more respect for him than that.
Most of my friends have moved out of LJ but I think I'm going to start writing here more. I'll still do my usual stuff on Tumblr but for everything else, I'll stay here. I forgot how easy it was to type in LJ and let things out. For the next few weeks, I'll definitely be needing this.