Gniliesba from the bottom
So, pretending for a moment that I have entirely healthy attitudes towards being sexxed up, is it wrong of me to want to get laid with Jamison Parker's remix of "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" from Miss Pink's 'Punk Goes 80s' album playing in the background?
Ha, although that means I get to put this song on the same playlist as U2's "Sunday Bloody Sunday".
I had a bad day at work. I wanted a drink. The Rock DJ invited me to the bar where he was drinking.
On any ordinary day ending in 'y', this would have ended with the two of us drinking together and then fucking each other's brains out in some new part of the city.
I turned down the drink. I made sure the sex was not even offered. I didn't buy a packet of cigarettes.
And then I walked the midnight streets for half an hour hoping that the three strange men following me would try something so I could turn around and beat the shit out of them.
*sigh* *headdesk*
Tomorrow, I'm not going to do anything self-destructive. I'm just not.
I should go to the bookstore in town with all the pretentious pagan shit and get some better rune magic reference material. I found new toys! *glee*
Because I realised how stupid it would be to walk the rest of the way home after that first half hour, I did wind up in a car with the Rock DJ, along with a couple of other people. We got stopped at a random police checkpoint and pulled over. I saw the thread that would follow...the Rock DJ failing his breath test and everybody having to taxi home while he got taken to give a blood test. He would have passed the blood test but that doesn't reverse all the redtape or refund taxi fare. I was tired and cranky from dealing with idiot coworkers, and I wasn't in the mood for it.
The police officer leaned in the window to check the Rock DJ's licence. From the passenger seat, twice as far from the Rock DJ as the officer was, I could smell the Guinness on him. I could hear the idiot behind my seat muttering, "Oh, fuck." I could see that the rego sticker in the corner of the windscreen was illegally obscured, as the officer flashed his torch across it to check the date.
The officer...missed all of these things. He handed the DJ's licence back and waved us on our way.
Maybe I did that. Maybe I helped the Rock DJ do it. Maybe my body is hallucinating in the throes of starvation. I had another cheeseburger tonight. I was going to follow that sentence with 'Food is important', but cheeseburgers have very little to do with anything that you could legitimately call 'food'.
If I had a little more energy right now, I would make muffins. In my pyjamas. And dance around the house with flour on my pyjamas and chocolate on my nose. Oh man, I could totally use chocolate icing for war paint. I want a tribe of angry bakers who paint themselves with icing and have shields of hardened dough.
...Except I think that hardened dough would just by definition be bread. But bread shields could work. I've come across some pretty hard bread in my time. Which just reminds me that it's been far too long since I had a baguette duel. I should bring some breadsticks home from work in the weekend and challenge one of my flatmates just to see them stare at me like I'm crazy before I clobber them over the head with a long and pointy loaf of bread and obtain victory for the mighty forces of the Chinish Empire!
Ha, although that means I get to put this song on the same playlist as U2's "Sunday Bloody Sunday".
I had a bad day at work. I wanted a drink. The Rock DJ invited me to the bar where he was drinking.
On any ordinary day ending in 'y', this would have ended with the two of us drinking together and then fucking each other's brains out in some new part of the city.
I turned down the drink. I made sure the sex was not even offered. I didn't buy a packet of cigarettes.
And then I walked the midnight streets for half an hour hoping that the three strange men following me would try something so I could turn around and beat the shit out of them.
*sigh* *headdesk*
Tomorrow, I'm not going to do anything self-destructive. I'm just not.
I should go to the bookstore in town with all the pretentious pagan shit and get some better rune magic reference material. I found new toys! *glee*
Because I realised how stupid it would be to walk the rest of the way home after that first half hour, I did wind up in a car with the Rock DJ, along with a couple of other people. We got stopped at a random police checkpoint and pulled over. I saw the thread that would follow...the Rock DJ failing his breath test and everybody having to taxi home while he got taken to give a blood test. He would have passed the blood test but that doesn't reverse all the redtape or refund taxi fare. I was tired and cranky from dealing with idiot coworkers, and I wasn't in the mood for it.
The police officer leaned in the window to check the Rock DJ's licence. From the passenger seat, twice as far from the Rock DJ as the officer was, I could smell the Guinness on him. I could hear the idiot behind my seat muttering, "Oh, fuck." I could see that the rego sticker in the corner of the windscreen was illegally obscured, as the officer flashed his torch across it to check the date.
The officer...missed all of these things. He handed the DJ's licence back and waved us on our way.
Maybe I did that. Maybe I helped the Rock DJ do it. Maybe my body is hallucinating in the throes of starvation. I had another cheeseburger tonight. I was going to follow that sentence with 'Food is important', but cheeseburgers have very little to do with anything that you could legitimately call 'food'.
If I had a little more energy right now, I would make muffins. In my pyjamas. And dance around the house with flour on my pyjamas and chocolate on my nose. Oh man, I could totally use chocolate icing for war paint. I want a tribe of angry bakers who paint themselves with icing and have shields of hardened dough.
...Except I think that hardened dough would just by definition be bread. But bread shields could work. I've come across some pretty hard bread in my time. Which just reminds me that it's been far too long since I had a baguette duel. I should bring some breadsticks home from work in the weekend and challenge one of my flatmates just to see them stare at me like I'm crazy before I clobber them over the head with a long and pointy loaf of bread and obtain victory for the mighty forces of the Chinish Empire!