Hey bitches. Random shit and some memes...
Sunday: Karaoke again!!! Cause maroonmd's just crazy like that. ;)
Come join at Paradiso on Sunday 8pm in Alexandria, VA.
First, since you're all such pervs, I was listening to this earlier and thought I'd share... ;)
----------------------
S+M (A LOVE SONG) (Kidneythieves)
Distant son, nova fucker
Hit and run to another
Took from you, from me
Lash and caress in between
Hit the target won an animal
Got a piece, a trace, a slip inside
Tore a page from the bind
Handed a twisted sadistic
Wanted you to fix it
Chant, cry, moan, lie
Tender garden bang to dry
Pound the love outta me, beat the love outta me
Best I can do, pleasure/pain
Too close to you, I'll blow your ash away
Took from you, from me
Brutally
Pound the love outta me, beat the love outta me
[catch me if you can, butter a scent on your hand]
wigs, whips, chains tied
you laughed, I cried
all I wanted is all you wanted.
----------------------
You are Captain Malcolm Reynolds, aka. Mal or
Captain Tightpants. You saw most of your men
die in a war you lost and now you seek solitude
with a small crew that you are fiercely devoted
to. You have no problems being naked.
Which Firefly character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Stolen shamelessly from segermark!!
You Are a Christmas Sweater!
Over the top, colorful, and totally flashy.
You're not afraid to be a little tacky.
What Crappy Gift Are You?
Your Dominant Intelligence is Logical-Mathematical Intelligence
You are great at finding patterns and relationships between things.
Always curious about how things work, you love to set up experiments.
You need for the world to make sense - and are good at making sense of it.
You have a head for numbers and math ... and you can solve almost any logic puzzle.
You would make a great scientist, engineer, computer programmer, researcher, accountant, or mathematician.
What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?
------------------
And also, holy *shit* this is long, stolen from rackletang
Are you an innie or an outie?
Innie.
Have you ever worn bell-bottoms?
Not that I recall.
Have you ever written a song?
Nope.
Can you make change for a dollar right now?
Nope.
Have you ever been in the opposite sex's public toilet?
Oh yes. Many times at Tracks, back in the day. *siigh*
Have you ever smelled your own feet?
Well yeah.
Do you like catsup on or beside your fries?
Either's good.
Can you touch your tongue to your nose?
Only in the moments before I pass out from blood loss.
Have you ever been a boy/girl scout?
No. I went with a friend who was in boyscouts to a, like, bring a friend dinner thing once. I needed only an hour or so to realize how truly awful it was, obviously I never went back.
Have you ever broken a mirror?
Yep. On purpose. I like to dare the universe to fuck with me. I'm a fucking moron. ;)
Have you ever put your tongue on a frozen pole?
Hell no I saw A Christmas Story.
What is your biggest pet peeve?
Humanity.
Do you slurp your drink after it's gone?
Yep.
Have you ever blown bubbles in your milk?
Yep.
Would you rather eat a Big Mac or a Whopper?
Either one please, yum! Oh I forgot I'm a vegetarian now. Shit, OK well then a seven-layer burrito from Taco Bell.
When you are at the grocery store, do you ask for paper or plastic?
Plastic's easier to carry.
True or False: You would rather eat steak than pizza.
FALSE (even when I was eating meat). ALL MUST BOW BEFORE PIZZA. ON YOU KNEES SLAVE!
Did you have a baby blanket?
I have no clue.
Have you ever tried to cut your own hair?
Every couple days. ;)
Have you ever sleepwalked?
Not that I know of.
Have you ever had a birthday party at McDonalds?
Hmmm, maybe? I tend to forget things more than 10 minutes past.
Can you flip your eye-lids up?
god I hope not.
Are you double jointed?
I wish!
If you could be any age, what age would you be?
21 (when the matabolism still kept me thin). That applies to what age physically though. If you mean like, what age life-wise? Fuck that, give me retirement, I'll take 60 for $500 Bob.
Have you ever gotten gum stuck in your hair?
Yeah.
Have you ever thrown up after a roller coaster ride?
Nopey.
What is your dream car?
Cars don't excite me. So I'll say "the most expensive car ever" so I can then sell it and retire. ;) Actually I might have trouble selling the most expensive car ever - so we'll go with the 3rd most expensive car ever.
What is your favorite cartoon of all time?
Not including anime, hrm, I dunno. Family Guy? Futurama? ATHF? Venture Bros? OH... maybe Robotech, which only half counts as anime. ;)
Would you go swimming in shallow waters where, one year earlier, a shark had attacked a child?
Yeah I s'pose, 'cept I don't really like swimming in oceans, too much gross shit and sunlight 'n crap. Gimme a boat baby. A dozen or so friends, all lounging on my motorboat... topless, drinking. Boat drinks!
Have you ever eaten a dog biscuit?
I don't think so. Not that I recall.
If you were in a car sinking in a lake, what would you do first?
Zip up my pants.
Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
Just once.
Can you pick something up with your toes?
Lint mostly.
How many remote controls do you have in your house?
Seven or so.
Have you ever fallen asleep in school?
Probably hundreds of times.
How many times have you flown in an airplane in the last year?
Two? Four? Somethin' 'round there, I think two.
How many foreign countries have you visited?
Six.
If you were out of shape, would you compete in a triathlon if you were somehow guaranteed to win a big, gaudy medal?
FUCK NO.
Would you rather be rich and unhappy, or poor and happy?
Rich and unhappy baby!
If you fell into quicksand, would you try to swim or try to float?
Jump off the aligator's mouth onto a swinging vine! I'd try to swim.
Do you ask for directions when you are lost?
All the time. I've gotten lost much less frequently since I told that Jesus copilot guy to get the fuck out though. ;)
Have you ever had a Mexican jumping bean?
Yep.
Are you more like Cinderella or Alice in Wonderland?
Alice. Is it wrong that that turns me on? ;)
Would you rather have an ant farm with no ants or a box of crayons with broken points?
Crayons. I dislike bugs, I also dislike places where bugs have recently been farming.
Do you prefer light or dark bread?
Light baby.
Do you prefer scrambled or fried eggs?
Scrambled.
Have you ever been in a car that ran out of gas?
Too many times as a teenager.
Do you talk in your sleep?
I don't think so? Although once as a child I purpotedly said, "cut the fat lady with the scissors" in my sleep.
Would you rather shovel snow or mow the lawn?
Shovel snow.
Would you rather be bitten by a poisonous snake or constricted by a python?
Uhhhh, right. Well fuck you very much. I wanna wrestle with a python I s'pose!
Have you ever played in the rain?
Uhhh, yeah. What am I a robot made of salt? Who the hell hasn't?
Which of these do you think is more dangerous: an angry bear or a hungry white shark?
The shark's more dangerous cuz the bear'll prolly let you go if you run away and stop pissing it off, meanwhile a hungry shark is THIS IS A RETARDED QUESTION. :)
Would you climb a very high tree to save a kitten?
Yeah, in fact I nearly killed myself trying to save my li'l girl last year or so. Uhh, Ammitnox's little girl. :(
Can you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?
Yeah crocodiles generally mean equal to.
Do you drink Pepsi or coke?
Pepsi can suck my dick, it gets flat sooo fast.
What's your favorite number?
Uhhh, 13? 666? I dunno, Pi? I'm not smart enough to have a favorite number.
If you were a car, would you be an SUV or a sports car?
I think I'd be a Geo Metro with an oil leak and the left-rear tire is just one of those "temporary" donuts but I've had it on for six and a half months now. Also some kid superglued my glove compartment closed and that's where my registration was and that really pisses me off which is one of the reasons my gas mileage has been so low lately but that's OK it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with me it's just from all the stress
Have you ever accidentally taken something from a hotel?
Never accidentally, no. Always on purpose. (answer stolen from rackletang).
Would you blow your nose at the dinner table?
I'd try not to I guess. I think.
Have you ever slipped in the bathtub?
Oh yeah.
Do you use regular or deodorant soap?
I use moisturizing soap, which I think is bunk cuz my skin's not so moist!
Have you ever locked yourself out of the house?
Oh yeah.
Would you rather make your living as a singing cowboy or as one of the Simpsons voices?
Dood I've *always* thought it'd rock to be a cartoon voiceover person!
If you could invite any movie star to your home for dinner, who would it be?
Angelina duh.
Have you ever gotten a truck driver to honk his horn?
Yep.
Have you ever returned a gift?
Nope. Honestly even if I wanted too, I'm too lazy.
Would you give someone else a gift that had been given to you?
I dunno maybe, not usually.
If you could attend an Olympic Event, what would it be?
I really just wouldn't.
How many pairs of shoes do you own?
Just my pair of boots, and my last (backup) pair of boots. OH, I also have a pair of workout sneakers. :P
If your grandmother gave you a gift that you already have, would you tell her?
No way I'd rather not spend any extra time speaking with her/them/its. Although they're dead now anyway.
Do you sing in the car?
Totally.
Would you rather jump into a dumpster or into a vat of honey?
Dumpster.
Would you donate money to feed starving animals in the winter?
Hrmm, maybe. I donate money to starving people because in general I think people are better at being miserable than animals who seem vaguely happier in general than us moronic humans.
If you were a bicycle, would you be a stingray or a mountain bike?
I have absolutely no idea. I'd wanna be PeeWee's bike from his Big Adventure!
What is your least favorite fruit?
I dunno. Fruit... vegetable... I'm the guy with the gun.
If you won a $5,000 shopping spree to any store, which store would you pick?
Best Buy.
Are/were you a good student?
Oh my fucking god no I was probably worse than ANY of you. When I dropped out of highschool in my senior year I was LAST in my class of like 600 with a (not kidding) 0.0 GPA. Although I did eventually get my degree, I'm so *not* hardcore. :(
If you had to choose, what branch of the military would you be in?
Fuck and no. Oooh oooh wait... Starfleet!
Would you ever parachute out of a plane?
Been there, done that, got the video tape.
What do you think is your best feature?
My sense of humor? My misanthropy? My brainstem is DEAD LAST. ;)
If you were to win a Grammy, what kind of music would it be for?
Something full of hate and humor. ;)
What is your favorite season?
Winter or a chilly Fall. (just so long as it's not warm and the bugs are dead, and the trees are bare). Although I do love summer thunderstorms, but ohwell c'est la seasons.
How many members do you have in your immediate family?
Four.
Which of the five senses is most important to you?
Sight, worst comes to worst there's always computers if you have sight. Don't start arguing that w/ out touch you couldn't type, cuz that's bullshit how would you know anyway and why the hell are you always trying to shoot me down just let me fucking say something without objecting for once jesus christ man.
Would you be a more successful painter or singer?
Singer, although first I'd need to be able to sing and you know, lose 30 pounds or so.
How many years will/did you end up going to college?
Not even a minute, never even considered it past jr. high school. I knew I couldn't cut it in college pretty early. :)
Have you ever had surgery?
Root Canal, Appendectomy, couple out-patient things. I'm looking forward to an eventual surgery on my brain stem I think though maybe - also I'm thinking maybe laser eye surgery someday in the future? Also hopefully someday maybe they'll finally be able to give me a real penis, like a real little boy.
Would you rather be a professional figure skater or professional football player?
Err... football, mad Benjamins yo.
What do you like to collect?
Notches on my bedpost. Heh, no I'm actually kidding, kinda, mostly, maybe. Uhhh action figures and statuettes 'n busts of cartoon characters 'n movie shit. I'm retarded. :)
How many collectibles do you have?
Dozens and dozens.
Come join at Paradiso on Sunday 8pm in Alexandria, VA.
First, since you're all such pervs, I was listening to this earlier and thought I'd share... ;)
----------------------
S+M (A LOVE SONG) (Kidneythieves)
Distant son, nova fucker
Hit and run to another
Took from you, from me
Lash and caress in between
Hit the target won an animal
Got a piece, a trace, a slip inside
Tore a page from the bind
Handed a twisted sadistic
Wanted you to fix it
Chant, cry, moan, lie
Tender garden bang to dry
Pound the love outta me, beat the love outta me
Best I can do, pleasure/pain
Too close to you, I'll blow your ash away
Took from you, from me
Brutally
Pound the love outta me, beat the love outta me
[catch me if you can, butter a scent on your hand]
wigs, whips, chains tied
you laughed, I cried
all I wanted is all you wanted.
----------------------
You are Captain Malcolm Reynolds, aka. Mal or
Captain Tightpants. You saw most of your men
die in a war you lost and now you seek solitude
with a small crew that you are fiercely devoted
to. You have no problems being naked.
Which Firefly character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Stolen shamelessly from segermark!!
You Are a Christmas Sweater!
Over the top, colorful, and totally flashy.
You're not afraid to be a little tacky.
What Crappy Gift Are You?
Your Dominant Intelligence is Logical-Mathematical Intelligence
You are great at finding patterns and relationships between things.
Always curious about how things work, you love to set up experiments.
You need for the world to make sense - and are good at making sense of it.
You have a head for numbers and math ... and you can solve almost any logic puzzle.
You would make a great scientist, engineer, computer programmer, researcher, accountant, or mathematician.
What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?
------------------
And also, holy *shit* this is long, stolen from rackletang
Are you an innie or an outie?
Innie.
Have you ever worn bell-bottoms?
Not that I recall.
Have you ever written a song?
Nope.
Can you make change for a dollar right now?
Nope.
Have you ever been in the opposite sex's public toilet?
Oh yes. Many times at Tracks, back in the day. *siigh*
Have you ever smelled your own feet?
Well yeah.
Do you like catsup on or beside your fries?
Either's good.
Can you touch your tongue to your nose?
Only in the moments before I pass out from blood loss.
Have you ever been a boy/girl scout?
No. I went with a friend who was in boyscouts to a, like, bring a friend dinner thing once. I needed only an hour or so to realize how truly awful it was, obviously I never went back.
Have you ever broken a mirror?
Yep. On purpose. I like to dare the universe to fuck with me. I'm a fucking moron. ;)
Have you ever put your tongue on a frozen pole?
Hell no I saw A Christmas Story.
What is your biggest pet peeve?
Humanity.
Do you slurp your drink after it's gone?
Yep.
Have you ever blown bubbles in your milk?
Yep.
Would you rather eat a Big Mac or a Whopper?
Either one please, yum! Oh I forgot I'm a vegetarian now. Shit, OK well then a seven-layer burrito from Taco Bell.
When you are at the grocery store, do you ask for paper or plastic?
Plastic's easier to carry.
True or False: You would rather eat steak than pizza.
FALSE (even when I was eating meat). ALL MUST BOW BEFORE PIZZA. ON YOU KNEES SLAVE!
Did you have a baby blanket?
I have no clue.
Have you ever tried to cut your own hair?
Every couple days. ;)
Have you ever sleepwalked?
Not that I know of.
Have you ever had a birthday party at McDonalds?
Hmmm, maybe? I tend to forget things more than 10 minutes past.
Can you flip your eye-lids up?
god I hope not.
Are you double jointed?
I wish!
If you could be any age, what age would you be?
21 (when the matabolism still kept me thin). That applies to what age physically though. If you mean like, what age life-wise? Fuck that, give me retirement, I'll take 60 for $500 Bob.
Have you ever gotten gum stuck in your hair?
Yeah.
Have you ever thrown up after a roller coaster ride?
Nopey.
What is your dream car?
Cars don't excite me. So I'll say "the most expensive car ever" so I can then sell it and retire. ;) Actually I might have trouble selling the most expensive car ever - so we'll go with the 3rd most expensive car ever.
What is your favorite cartoon of all time?
Not including anime, hrm, I dunno. Family Guy? Futurama? ATHF? Venture Bros? OH... maybe Robotech, which only half counts as anime. ;)
Would you go swimming in shallow waters where, one year earlier, a shark had attacked a child?
Yeah I s'pose, 'cept I don't really like swimming in oceans, too much gross shit and sunlight 'n crap. Gimme a boat baby. A dozen or so friends, all lounging on my motorboat... topless, drinking. Boat drinks!
Have you ever eaten a dog biscuit?
I don't think so. Not that I recall.
If you were in a car sinking in a lake, what would you do first?
Zip up my pants.
Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
Just once.
Can you pick something up with your toes?
Lint mostly.
How many remote controls do you have in your house?
Seven or so.
Have you ever fallen asleep in school?
Probably hundreds of times.
How many times have you flown in an airplane in the last year?
Two? Four? Somethin' 'round there, I think two.
How many foreign countries have you visited?
Six.
If you were out of shape, would you compete in a triathlon if you were somehow guaranteed to win a big, gaudy medal?
FUCK NO.
Would you rather be rich and unhappy, or poor and happy?
Rich and unhappy baby!
If you fell into quicksand, would you try to swim or try to float?
Jump off the aligator's mouth onto a swinging vine! I'd try to swim.
Do you ask for directions when you are lost?
All the time. I've gotten lost much less frequently since I told that Jesus copilot guy to get the fuck out though. ;)
Have you ever had a Mexican jumping bean?
Yep.
Are you more like Cinderella or Alice in Wonderland?
Alice. Is it wrong that that turns me on? ;)
Would you rather have an ant farm with no ants or a box of crayons with broken points?
Crayons. I dislike bugs, I also dislike places where bugs have recently been farming.
Do you prefer light or dark bread?
Light baby.
Do you prefer scrambled or fried eggs?
Scrambled.
Have you ever been in a car that ran out of gas?
Too many times as a teenager.
Do you talk in your sleep?
I don't think so? Although once as a child I purpotedly said, "cut the fat lady with the scissors" in my sleep.
Would you rather shovel snow or mow the lawn?
Shovel snow.
Would you rather be bitten by a poisonous snake or constricted by a python?
Uhhhh, right. Well fuck you very much. I wanna wrestle with a python I s'pose!
Have you ever played in the rain?
Uhhh, yeah. What am I a robot made of salt? Who the hell hasn't?
Which of these do you think is more dangerous: an angry bear or a hungry white shark?
The shark's more dangerous cuz the bear'll prolly let you go if you run away and stop pissing it off, meanwhile a hungry shark is THIS IS A RETARDED QUESTION. :)
Would you climb a very high tree to save a kitten?
Yeah, in fact I nearly killed myself trying to save my li'l girl last year or so. Uhh, Ammitnox's little girl. :(
Can you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?
Yeah crocodiles generally mean equal to.
Do you drink Pepsi or coke?
Pepsi can suck my dick, it gets flat sooo fast.
What's your favorite number?
Uhhh, 13? 666? I dunno, Pi? I'm not smart enough to have a favorite number.
If you were a car, would you be an SUV or a sports car?
I think I'd be a Geo Metro with an oil leak and the left-rear tire is just one of those "temporary" donuts but I've had it on for six and a half months now. Also some kid superglued my glove compartment closed and that's where my registration was and that really pisses me off which is one of the reasons my gas mileage has been so low lately but that's OK it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with me it's just from all the stress
Have you ever accidentally taken something from a hotel?
Never accidentally, no. Always on purpose. (answer stolen from rackletang).
Would you blow your nose at the dinner table?
I'd try not to I guess. I think.
Have you ever slipped in the bathtub?
Oh yeah.
Do you use regular or deodorant soap?
I use moisturizing soap, which I think is bunk cuz my skin's not so moist!
Have you ever locked yourself out of the house?
Oh yeah.
Would you rather make your living as a singing cowboy or as one of the Simpsons voices?
Dood I've *always* thought it'd rock to be a cartoon voiceover person!
If you could invite any movie star to your home for dinner, who would it be?
Angelina duh.
Have you ever gotten a truck driver to honk his horn?
Yep.
Have you ever returned a gift?
Nope. Honestly even if I wanted too, I'm too lazy.
Would you give someone else a gift that had been given to you?
I dunno maybe, not usually.
If you could attend an Olympic Event, what would it be?
I really just wouldn't.
How many pairs of shoes do you own?
Just my pair of boots, and my last (backup) pair of boots. OH, I also have a pair of workout sneakers. :P
If your grandmother gave you a gift that you already have, would you tell her?
No way I'd rather not spend any extra time speaking with her/them/its. Although they're dead now anyway.
Do you sing in the car?
Totally.
Would you rather jump into a dumpster or into a vat of honey?
Dumpster.
Would you donate money to feed starving animals in the winter?
Hrmm, maybe. I donate money to starving people because in general I think people are better at being miserable than animals who seem vaguely happier in general than us moronic humans.
If you were a bicycle, would you be a stingray or a mountain bike?
I have absolutely no idea. I'd wanna be PeeWee's bike from his Big Adventure!
What is your least favorite fruit?
I dunno. Fruit... vegetable... I'm the guy with the gun.
If you won a $5,000 shopping spree to any store, which store would you pick?
Best Buy.
Are/were you a good student?
Oh my fucking god no I was probably worse than ANY of you. When I dropped out of highschool in my senior year I was LAST in my class of like 600 with a (not kidding) 0.0 GPA. Although I did eventually get my degree, I'm so *not* hardcore. :(
If you had to choose, what branch of the military would you be in?
Fuck and no. Oooh oooh wait... Starfleet!
Would you ever parachute out of a plane?
Been there, done that, got the video tape.
What do you think is your best feature?
My sense of humor? My misanthropy? My brainstem is DEAD LAST. ;)
If you were to win a Grammy, what kind of music would it be for?
Something full of hate and humor. ;)
What is your favorite season?
Winter or a chilly Fall. (just so long as it's not warm and the bugs are dead, and the trees are bare). Although I do love summer thunderstorms, but ohwell c'est la seasons.
How many members do you have in your immediate family?
Four.
Which of the five senses is most important to you?
Sight, worst comes to worst there's always computers if you have sight. Don't start arguing that w/ out touch you couldn't type, cuz that's bullshit how would you know anyway and why the hell are you always trying to shoot me down just let me fucking say something without objecting for once jesus christ man.
Would you be a more successful painter or singer?
Singer, although first I'd need to be able to sing and you know, lose 30 pounds or so.
How many years will/did you end up going to college?
Not even a minute, never even considered it past jr. high school. I knew I couldn't cut it in college pretty early. :)
Have you ever had surgery?
Root Canal, Appendectomy, couple out-patient things. I'm looking forward to an eventual surgery on my brain stem I think though maybe - also I'm thinking maybe laser eye surgery someday in the future? Also hopefully someday maybe they'll finally be able to give me a real penis, like a real little boy.
Would you rather be a professional figure skater or professional football player?
Err... football, mad Benjamins yo.
What do you like to collect?
Notches on my bedpost. Heh, no I'm actually kidding, kinda, mostly, maybe. Uhhh action figures and statuettes 'n busts of cartoon characters 'n movie shit. I'm retarded. :)
How many collectibles do you have?
Dozens and dozens.