Chapter Seventeen

[merrymelody]

Educational Decree Number Twenty Four

In which Hermione and Harry continue in their quest for world domination; Sirius appears; and Rox trembles at the thought of a Draco-less chapter approaching.

Comments

[jollityfarm]

Because to me, that doesn't so much convey an idea that boys are less trustworthy, so much as the girls need protection and that while the boys might want to score with other students, the girls needed to be prevented from this and themselves.
I mean, just saying that the boys are "less trustworthy" implies that the girls wouldn't want, or be expected to want, to sneak into the boys dorms. Girls don't even like sex (or nice girls don't, anyway) and so they need elaborate gadgets to save them from the marauding boys, who want to steal their virtue.

To me, the situation is quite flawed. A single boy invading the girls' rooms would not be able to assault a whole gang of girls, whereas a single girl in the boys' rooms might well be assaulted by a whole gang of boys. And if a couple wants sex, what on earth is there to stop them from doing it in the boys' dorms instead of the girls'?

Maybe it is a ploy to stop boys from trying on the girls' underwear in secret. But how often has that happened?

Aw, look! Hedwig is inexplicably popular,

[merrymelody]

A single girl in the boys' rooms might well be assaulted by a whole gang of boys.

Yeah. And of course, there doesn't appear to be any wards or spell bans that stop the 'untrustworthy' boys forcing a girl to come out of her rooms and into his. (To use a rather morbid example, can they reach to throw matches up there?)
And of course, couples could just have sex anywhere else in the large, deserted castle...

Even the owl is a Sue :(

Heh, seriously. Well, I suppose technically Fawkes is a real bird Sue, what with being immortal and beautiful and having so many magical powers; but since Harry speaks for Dumbledore and vice versa, I'm going to say Hedwig is a Fawkes extension.

Harry keeps saying how he hates all the attention, but I think we can all tell that he'd be devastated if he woke up one morning to find out that he was just a regular-kid-at-Hogwarts.Totally. It would a Buffy situation, where she spent three years moaning about how tough her life was, until someone came along with powers equal to her and she thought she might be

[merrymelody]

And I love that bit about how evil Lucius Malfoy is ((and I don't even like Lucius, which shows you how much I dislike Arthur)) is for having political connections (like, where'd you get those tickets for the QWC, Arthur old boy?) and *gasp* donating money to charity, since Arthur's divined that his motivations are suspect. As if St. Mungoes or wherever cares.) and almost snobbish - they're not like those real poor people, why should they have to work
when they're purebloods. Let's just bitch about how unfair it is that bad people have money, and how much more we deserve it, as if morality determines how much you deserve to be rich.
Personally, I think people who are good at earning money and keeping it deserve to be rich, but what do I know?

The way he goes around in clothes that are physically falling to bits looks so much like an affectation - especially since he was doing the same when he had a job.Oh, seriously. Being a macho ex-BMOC Gryffindor he probably doesn't know how to sew well, if at all

[sistermagpie]

And what happens if there's an emergency? What if a firemen needs to get in? Or a male teacher? Is there some kind of age barrier?

As Maya figured out, a lot of the boys can fly up on a broomstick.

The coolness of Harry's rebellious anti-authority attitude slightly diminished by the checking there was no authority nearby first, but that's just him being slyly smart. He can do that sometimes!

Though I love it when Harry does something where I know exactly how differently it would be described if it were a Slytherin. How many times has the narrator pointed out how Malfoy looks around for a teacher before misbehaving, so that it can be quoted as a sign of his cowardice by fans?

Heh. I rather like the gargoyles. They remind me of Labyrinth or something.

Or that 3-headed knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Hagrid can train animals not to attack other animals? Heh. Shame he can’t do that for his students.He did, Roxanne! Only Malfoy intentionally abused Buckbeak and didn't listen to what Hagrid said so carefully! Hagrid'

[mariagoner]

Heh. There's a bit of a rivalry going on there, I think; what with the twins keeness to put down Hermione's values and likewise, Hermione's dismissal and attempts to discipline them.

I would really, really, really love to see more of the bone-deep antipathy that seems to exist between Hermione and the Weasley twins. Damn Harry for having such a limited perspective! Could you just imagine how scary an all out war between those two-factions would get? Talk about radioactive fall-out...

Considering how static, scary or always-correct Hermione has been in OOTP, her dealings with Fred and George were the only bright spots in her characterization for me. They were one of the few parts that actually made me view her as an interesting character again, instead of as a Walking Plot Device or JKR's mini-me.

I would love to think the twins make Hermione see herself as foolish and ridiculous, actually, driving her to be even more foolish and ridiculous. I think if I lived with Hermione I'd try to drive her crazy all the time. Her dormmates

[merrymelody]

For now, the twins are too sensible to try anything, what with Hermione being a prefect and Harry and Ron's friend, presumably.
Plus they appear to like easy targets, which she isn't - imagine what she'd do in revenge if like, she sat on a whoopee cushion and got embarrassed? Probably put poison in their food or something... *shudders*
Hermione has no sense of humour, so she might be disadvantaged. Mind you, I don't think the Twins are particularly amusing most of the time, either.

Personally, I reckon that her dormmates gave up on her years ago and just leave her alone to nag the rest of the trio in peace. Giving Hermione an eating disorder would probably also entail getting extensive lectures from her on how the media influences self-esteem for the worse, and that's too much trouble for me.

Bwhahaha!
Don't forget you'd get mini-talks on how much better Ron and Harry are, and why Hermione wishes she had the benefits of her male friendships at all times, rather than superficial shallow types like Parvati and Lavender.

[gillieweed]

Because he's very complex and deep, Rox. If he's trying to look calm but showing anger those are just the top levels of emotion. The anger is no doubt there to cover up his pain at having to pretend to hate Harry for petty reasons, which in turn is covering up his disgust at having to pretend to like the Slytherins, which he does so nobody figures out he's secretly making Neville strong in order to cover his guilt at having to break one of Frank Longbottom's fingernails 20 years ago in order to cover up his defection to Dumbledore's side from the Death Eaters, which he joined due to his intense Ravenclaw academic interest in Potions, but which was really an escape to hide from his great love for Lily, which helped distract him from the pain of being bullied, which reminded him of the parental abuse he wanted to forget.

At bottom, of course, he's really just longing for a good cognac and a recording of Mahler's Fifth that doesn't elegize the Adagietto. Very complex, our Snape; deep as a well and layered like an onion.Oh. My. God. I

[merrymelody]

A lot of the boys can fly up on a broomstick.

Heh. Jollity just pointed out that, should the boys become violent (since they're less trustworthy ;) : "A single boy invading the girls' rooms would not be able to assault a whole gang of girls, whereas a single girl in the boys' rooms might well be assaulted by a whole gang of boys."
And of course, people could just have sex in the boys rooms. Or anywhere else in an entire damn castle...

I love it when Harry does something where I know exactly how differently it would be described if it were a Slytherin. How many times has the narrator pointed out how Malfoy looks around for a teacher before misbehaving, so that it can be quoted as a sign of his cowardice by fans?

Oh, totally. With Harry, it's just being smart. Maybe even humble and self-effacing.

Hagrid's saying it was his fault should only be taken as a sign of what a big heart he has, how quick to take on responsibility even when it isn't his fault.Yeah, I got the impression that we're supposed to go: "Aw, poor Hagrid! Slytherins

[jollityfarm]

I should say (though I'm sure you got the message the first time :0 ) that, while I am a Snapefan, I too am troubled by the fanon variety. I am particularly not fond of the one that is a sophisticated dandy that drinks absinthe like an absinthe-dwelling fish and wears silk underwear (in Slytherin green, of course, because there's no way any other colour option would be open to a Slytherin) whilst reciting bon mots to delight any audience. I like my Severus pikey, awkward, irrational and completely clueless about clothes (I think most people are clueless about clothes, actually) as well as being more or less teetotal (and not knowing the difference between a good drink and a bad one, except to say that he wouldn't drink any of "that sugary muck" and probably not absinthe, on account of it being green)

[merrymelody]

Oh, I know you like Snape! ;)
And I like your image of him, which feels more like canon than Scary Dandy Guy.
I guess I'm undecided - I really warmed to him in canon at times, I really, really hate most fandom opinions of him, and most ships including him because of this (especially Snarry, which appears to be populated predominantly by idiots.)
Although I guess all of that - too much fanon and too many plebes, applies to the vast majority of Draco fans also...
He's like a lot of characters, I suppose - I'd like him much more if I didn't feel like fandom was shoving him down my throat.
I guess that's why I dislike Fanon! and Canon!Harry, since the books may as well come with a hammer saying 'Love him, love him!' but I like Canon!Snape and hate Fanon.
If that made any sense at all...?

Heh, of course the silk underwear! And then he does it with Harry, who is wearing red and gold boxers with a lion motif!
(Do people really think that's classy?)

[jollityfarm]

Silk underwear is only really classy if you also think leather trousers and orange fake tan are classy too. Seriously, I don't fancy the idea of a Peter Stringfellow-type as Potions master. I don't know what's wrong with people sometimes.

(Draco also wears green underwear, you know, and when he cops off with Hermione, he notices that her pants are "Gryffindor red". Happens all the time, no really :( )

I do agree that many of the Snapefans can be super-annoying. From the ones who appear to think that Professor Snape is their boyfriend to the ones who have a bit of trouble coming to terms with the fact that if I call him "Severus" that's not disrespectful - because I'm real, he's not, and I am writing fanfiction about his personal life after all - even though Remus calling him by his first name might well have been. My only consolation is that Sirius fans are just as crazy (in fact, they are exactly as mental, suggesting that my point about Sirius and Severus being mirror images of each other is completely real and not me being silly

[furiosity]

That's an interesting point, about why it was Malfoy who went to Umbridge for permission to reform the Slytherin Quidditch team.

1. Foreshadowing that Draco is going to be named captain? [Er, well, with only him, Crabbe, and Goyle left on the team in sixth year, he's pretty much a shoo-in, unless Pucey pulls a Flint. Blaise for Keeper!]

2. An indication that Umbridge is close to Lucius (specifically)? I mean, Umbridge lets it drop later on that Lucius Malfoy always speaks highly of Snape (when Snape tells her he ain't got no stinkin' Veritaserum). Umbridge/Lucius? *snarf* Fneh, I don't think we've seen the last of Umbridge, at any rate.

3. An indication that Draco is trusted by the older Slytherins (or perhaps only the Quidditch captain)? I mean, the way the other Slytherins are portrayed, they're all big, burly, and grunting; Draco seems to be the only one with a gift for PR (courtesy of Malfoy Upbringing™)

[mariagoner]

Personally, I think it's mostly just that JKR was too lazy to invent another prominent Slytherin student and have him/her interact with Harry in any meaningful way. (And no, being assaulted by Gryffindors or being Draco's syncophant doesn't count...)

Though for the sake of Draco-lovers everywhere, I can only hope your other reasons are also right!

[merrymelody]

*crosses fingers for all three*

[mariagoner]

I read some interview blather about God The Big D thinking that Snape's talents lie elsewhere; although as usual, fanon and fic make more sense - too much goodwill looks suspicious, and Snape should be in the background.

Heee! Isn't "Big D" supposed to be Dudley's nickname?!

Hiring the dramatic Moody and Lockhart makes sense from that perspective, I suppose, but still, it comes down to the ageold question surrounding almost everything Albus does: is he actively evil or just woefully stupid, arrogant and incompetent?

Personally, I just like to think of Albus as being mostly directed by contrivance and plot-based needs. In "real" life, a headmaster like Dumbledore wouldn't continue to put a teen like Harry into dangerous situations time and time again. However, if Big D didn't allow danger to come to Harry, the books would be less about "Harry Potter and Insert Object O' Danger" than "Harry Potter and the Normal, Average Schoolyear" X 5. Dumbledore's bizarre, recurring incompetance isn't so much his fault as a necessary plot

[merrymelody]

Oh no! I didn't mean to soil Dudley's name like that! *quickly edits*
(Seriously, I adore Dudley. I'd much rather see him as god figure for the entire Wizarding World...Imagine the hijinks that would ensue.)

I think the final bit for me (gosh, a lot of characters were at their most obnoxious in OotP, weren't they?) was his talk on how he'd let everyone else suffer and die, if it ensured Harry's piece of mind.
No shit, Sherlock! That's pretty fricking obvious.
And this is the guy we're supposed to cheer and say 'Oh, I'm so glad he's back in charge of all those other peoples lives!'

[sieda]

Dumbledore=Dudley!

The proof: Petunia is terrified of Dumbledore. Petunia and Vernon do everything possible to keep Dudley happy.

And what better way to make your cousin's life miserable than be in charge of his school. This is the reason Dudley gets bad grades. He's been skipping school to be at Hogwarts.

Now we know why Dumbledore does the things he does to Harry, he is actually Dudley in disguise!

What will you call it? The Lump to Leader theory?

[merrymelody]

*gets intrigued*
Then why does he favour Harry so much usually? And cry over him? Is it a cunning double bluff, or are his feelings developed to more than cousinly? ;)