WTF Wednesday - Round 70 (Skools Out)

[the_perkygoff]

EDIT: AHAHAHAHAH I AM A MEGA FAILURE. NOTE THE DATE. NOW NOTE THE DATE YOU'RE PROBABLY READING THIS. WOW. I FORGOT TO UN-PRIVATE THIS ENTRY. A FAILURE IS I.

CAPSLOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL.
BUT YOU STILL NEED TO STEER IN CRUISE CONTROL.

The following is a part of your regularly scheduled WTF Wednesday:

Ahhh round 70. Smell that? That is the gloriousness of far more links than I care to admit to. I figured that with this being the end of the school year for so many of you, I'd go and do a school themed week this week. This week is short but sweet and full of awesome valedictorian speeches. Sit back and enjoy:

What is more relevant to a recently graduating class than a Pokemon themed speech?

This is a video I got ages ago. I am so glad I saved it til now. This kid makes one of the most politically incorrect speeches ever, and gets a standing ovation. Who needs sappy when you can have loltastic? Gender jokes, AIDS jokes... I'm sure if Swine Flu were around at the time, he'd make a hamtrax crack.

This entry isn't just about graduations from school OH TEH NOES. It's also about dumb school kids. Like the boy who hung himself when he couldn't play with his Wii. That... actually sounds a lot dirtier than I intended.

How about a bit of smooth piano music as you reminiscence about the horrors of high school and beyond?

Here's another school kid, but at least this time, it wasn't the kid that was retarded: student suspended over use of PHP. ._.

If you're a Family Guy fan, check out Seth MacFarlane's speech at Harvard. As Peter Griffin. And Stevie. And Quagmire. Lawl.

Away from the videos once again, here are five things they skipped in college orientation that many people have learned the hard way.

I think a lot of you heard about this a little over a month ago, but it's going to go down in the record books as an epic inadvertent April Fools joke: UCSD Sends Acceptance E-mail to Wrong List. "Earlier this month, about 17,000 students were offered admission for the fall, leaving nearly 29,000 hopefuls out in the cold. But on Tuesday, the school's communications office said an e-mail was sent Monday afternoon to all 46,377 students who applied for admission -- including the 29,000 rejects -- welcoming them to the campus. A half-hour later, school officials said, they realized their mistake. Almost two hours after the first note went out, a second e-mail was sent, apologizing to 28,889 freshmen applicants for the mistake."

The New York Times has a modern day note to all the 2009 graduates.

On that note, that article opens with the with the wonderful line Mary Schmich’s famous fantasy commencement advice ("Wear sunscreen. Stretch. Do one thing every day that scares you"), which, if you recall, was made into a remix back in 1999. It's the most fitting end I could think of to this entry.