The following is a letter I sent to Steven, who is home sick today. I'm posting the letter because it's easier than retyping the events of today ( Read more... )

Attention, ladies and gentlemen,

The Julie and her boyfriend have now entered the "I Love You" stage. Please leave your *barfs* and "awww's" in an orderly fashion.

Thank you,
Management

Dear Lousy-Excuses-for-Parents of My Piano Students ( Read more... )

Dear Parents,

When I leave the hospital, after having been up since 4:30 in the morning, I would very much like to come home and NOT have to see this face...


( Read more... )

Dear Guy From Apple Tech Support Whose Name, I Think, is Terry,
Thank you for being nice and not treating me like it's my fault. I don't know how you do it, but you are incredibly nice for someone who deals with morons everyday.
You're alright in my book!

Hugz,
The Julie

Dear People at the Apple Store,

I'd like to invite you all to gather 'round in a circle and fuck yourselves in the ass with chipped, glass dildoes.
When you're done with that, give me a new iPod and kiss the fattest part of my ass.

Dear Mr. "All Our Representatives Are Busy,"
I KNOW! You don't have to tell me every 30 fucking seconds!Cordially ( Read more... )