10
Just putting this out here.
It is mandatory that all rules are followed. *_*
THE JACKAL KUWAHARA RULE LIST FOR DATING YOU-KNOW-WHO.
1. Before dating buchou, you must sign the waiver.
2. On the first date, buchou comes first. You come last. … dead last.
3. There is no cheating on buchou.
4. If you cheat on buchou, this is where the waiver comes into play.
5. Rikkai is buchou’s family. Not you. We have veto power and The Emperor on our side. Remember that.
6. Be the right type. The right type being one who values their limbs. Thus, NO SEX WHILE BUCHOU IS DRUNK OR IMPAIRED.
7. WHY IS HE DRUNK OR IMPAIRED?? HOW COULD YOU LET HIM BECOME LIKE THAT??
8. If you go drinking with buchou, you will wake up at sunrise before him, close the curtains and sit at the bedside, ready at a moment’s notice to make tea, breakfast, get water and vitamin b12.
9. Buchou needs a protector, and someone who will lick his shoes. These are not additional skills, these are requirements.
10. It is required that you know how to take it in the ass.
11. If you make buchou cry, we will make you weep like a 2 year old girl on tear gas, and even that’s an insult to the 2 year old girl.
12. Buchou is to be addressed respectfully at all times. Any degrading nicknames, insults or profane names will be treated as threats and we will a-bomb you. We have the means.
13. Upon meeting buchou’s team for the first time, don’t mind if we stare. We only want to fix your identity in our minds so that we can identify you later if necessary. We hate involving innocents.
14. If a threat appears during a date at a time you are with buchou, you’d better go down first or you’ll go down in a painfully slow manner.
15. If buchou is late for a date, you may wait 5 minutes to half an hour. In which case you shall be waiting patiently as buchou has decided to grace your pitiful life with his ethereal presence.
16. If half an hour has gone past, you will phone buchou’s cell. Should a voicemail be your answer, leave a polite one, inquiring as to his status and hang up.
17. If one hour later he has not answered, you will immediately phone all of Rikkai, inquire as to our knowledge of his status. If all is well, we will contact him if we think it necessary. This could be a sign of his intentions towards you.
18. If all is not well, leave it to us. We are Rikkai. Scum who touch are buchou will receive their just desserts.
19. You will never be late for a date. If you are late, every minute lost is 50 laps. We will let you know what you are lapping.
20. When buchou says no, buchou means no.
21. If a black van is parked in front of your house in the morning, assume you fucked up last night’s date and inform your next of kin where your will is before proceeding. You need not worry about sunglasses if it’s sunny. You’ll never see the light of day or night again.
And finally:
22. If you read these rules and are frightened, you fail. You should know by now that buchou is the scariest of all beings. Living or otherwise. Be afraid.
I will also be stopping by later with a waiver to sign. To all those reading, one of you will know who I am addressing. *_*
Rikkai but screened from Bunta
Marui's birthday is on the twentieth but I've noted quite a few of you have... depressing time schedules. I won't deny it, so do I. Bodyguarding work is always a hassle during exam time.
I was wondering if we could arrange our get together on that day, if that's not possible I do have a backup plan, but it does involve the sacrifice of a certain individual.
Kevin
My suite, tonight. You're learning how to cook. And I am attempting to be as perfectly honest about this while remaining polite.
YOU'RE SKILLS ARE A DISASTER.
It is mandatory that all rules are followed. *_*
THE JACKAL KUWAHARA RULE LIST FOR DATING YOU-KNOW-WHO.
1. Before dating buchou, you must sign the waiver.
2. On the first date, buchou comes first. You come last. … dead last.
3. There is no cheating on buchou.
4. If you cheat on buchou, this is where the waiver comes into play.
5. Rikkai is buchou’s family. Not you. We have veto power and The Emperor on our side. Remember that.
6. Be the right type. The right type being one who values their limbs. Thus, NO SEX WHILE BUCHOU IS DRUNK OR IMPAIRED.
7. WHY IS HE DRUNK OR IMPAIRED?? HOW COULD YOU LET HIM BECOME LIKE THAT??
8. If you go drinking with buchou, you will wake up at sunrise before him, close the curtains and sit at the bedside, ready at a moment’s notice to make tea, breakfast, get water and vitamin b12.
9. Buchou needs a protector, and someone who will lick his shoes. These are not additional skills, these are requirements.
10. It is required that you know how to take it in the ass.
11. If you make buchou cry, we will make you weep like a 2 year old girl on tear gas, and even that’s an insult to the 2 year old girl.
12. Buchou is to be addressed respectfully at all times. Any degrading nicknames, insults or profane names will be treated as threats and we will a-bomb you. We have the means.
13. Upon meeting buchou’s team for the first time, don’t mind if we stare. We only want to fix your identity in our minds so that we can identify you later if necessary. We hate involving innocents.
14. If a threat appears during a date at a time you are with buchou, you’d better go down first or you’ll go down in a painfully slow manner.
15. If buchou is late for a date, you may wait 5 minutes to half an hour. In which case you shall be waiting patiently as buchou has decided to grace your pitiful life with his ethereal presence.
16. If half an hour has gone past, you will phone buchou’s cell. Should a voicemail be your answer, leave a polite one, inquiring as to his status and hang up.
17. If one hour later he has not answered, you will immediately phone all of Rikkai, inquire as to our knowledge of his status. If all is well, we will contact him if we think it necessary. This could be a sign of his intentions towards you.
18. If all is not well, leave it to us. We are Rikkai. Scum who touch are buchou will receive their just desserts.
19. You will never be late for a date. If you are late, every minute lost is 50 laps. We will let you know what you are lapping.
20. When buchou says no, buchou means no.
21. If a black van is parked in front of your house in the morning, assume you fucked up last night’s date and inform your next of kin where your will is before proceeding. You need not worry about sunglasses if it’s sunny. You’ll never see the light of day or night again.
And finally:
22. If you read these rules and are frightened, you fail. You should know by now that buchou is the scariest of all beings. Living or otherwise. Be afraid.
I will also be stopping by later with a waiver to sign. To all those reading, one of you will know who I am addressing. *_*
Rikkai but screened from Bunta
Marui's birthday is on the twentieth but I've noted quite a few of you have... depressing time schedules. I won't deny it, so do I. Bodyguarding work is always a hassle during exam time.
I was wondering if we could arrange our get together on that day, if that's not possible I do have a backup plan, but it does involve the sacrifice of a certain individual.
Kevin
My suite, tonight. You're learning how to cook. And I am attempting to be as perfectly honest about this while remaining polite.
YOU'RE SKILLS ARE A DISASTER.