(no subject)
so I like this boy, a lot.
but nothing's ever going to happen.
which is probably for the best you know?
I mean, why take a chance and ruin a friendship we worked so hard to get?
Relationships can ruin everything.
you see my head knows this is a better idea, to stay friends and not grow further, so we can keep this bond forever.
but now, my heart can't comprehend it.
it's like it's screaming at me, 'what are you doing!?'.
and I can't answer back with anything but, 'what's best'.
but, I've neglected my heart for way too long, listening to my head, to what is best.
we could be so much.
and I just wish I had the guts to take the first move, take the chance.
maybe, it'll happen on its own?
no I know it won't, I'm just telling myself lies so I won't worry about the truth.
I know there are risks, but it hurts so much to not follow your heart.
I want to run to him and say 'you mean so much to me, more then you could know. I want to be so much more with you. we can make it last, make it work. you know this. please don't be scared of getting hurt, of losing a wonderful friendship. I'll never tell you anything but what's real. and you and I know, we both want this, we both know it's waiting for us. we could go with our heads, go with what’s best, but you see, our hearts know different, they know that what is best, is not right.'
but you see, I hold my tongue.
I myself am sickly afraid of rejection.
but I'm going to have to do something soon, before it breaks me down.