(Untitled)

[not_the_s]

Kon had definitely had some epic fails in his life. There had been the thing with Knockout, obviously, and then the thing with Tana and that had worked out just wonderfully...sarcasm heavily meant. There were some island fails, too. Mostly it was the fail that had happened when the island had messed with him and then his reaction to that. Some

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[liestobatman]

No, Tim thinks: he's seen Kon try. He's seen Kon tackle problems no one else could, take on tasks no one should shoulder, make sacrifices and get the job done no matter the cost. If this is what it looks like now, then--he doesn't even know. Is this Kon without his powers, is this Kon when he's been on a tropical island watching people get engaged and disappear?

He doesn't know, he just knows it's not good enough tonight. "Try harder," he says, unable to return the sentiment right now. It feels like it's just something to say, a bandage or a guilt trip or both. "You still think I care about that game, or that we're best friends because it's a thing you can say? I tell you things and you don't listen to me. I try to talk to you and you throw something I didn't know, something I would never want to know in my face.

"Then when I find out why you did that, you tell me I don't care and leave before I can even say anything, like. Like it's something you can't talk to me about at all, so what kind of friend am I really?" He remembers Jason, asking him why they were friends in the first place, asking him how he does this with someone who-- "Kon, you hurt me and I let you. And you still talk about the game like that's all that happened, how is any of that what best friends do? What any kind of friends do?"

[not_the_s]

"Then you don't want to know about me! Do you care about what happened to me while you weren't here? While there was another you on the island? Another Bart? I could tell you about how Cassie and I dated. And that's not some thing that other Tim did or didn't do to me. You claim that I wasn't listening to you. Well, you weren't listening to me either. You didn't bother to ask about any of it. I want to try to get to know the Tim Drake you've been since the last time I saw you. Properly and not here. Do you want to know the Kon-El who's been on the island for the last few years?"

It's like they were stuck back their old patterns and now something broke. And Kon wanted to fix it, but he wasn't sure that Tim wanted to and maybe that's what hurt the worst.

"Sure. We've hurt each other before. How about when you took that hair from me and checked it against Luthor's DNA? How about that time on Apokolips?" He was just rationalizing now and desperately and the next words came out before he could stop them. "And about the other thing that I said...I feel like an idiot. I never should have said...of course you don't...I'm sorry I pushed that onto you. It's not your fault I..." He swallowed and finished the thought in a rush. "ThatIhavefeelingsforyou."

[liestobatman]

"I DON'T WANT TO KNOW I WAS SCREWING MY ADOPTIVE BROTHER," he yells, torn between getting it through to Kon and just walking away. "I tried to tell you something, I tried to talk to you about something I never talk about, and before I even figure out how, we're talking about you and that. That's not something that happened to you Kon, it happened to me, and it's not something you tell me about without some fucking sensitivity."

Does he want to know this person? Does he want to fix something this broken, when Kon still won't listen? How is telling him what happened before supposed to change anything? Tim doesn't think listening to Kon will ever let it stop being about Kon, and he's.

He's let so much of the last year be about Kon. "I don't know what I want. I don't know what I feel, or could feel, or--or of course I don't because you keep treating me like shit. You're treating me like shit right now, and you don't even get it. Out of all the things you said to me, saying you had feelings for me is the only one I'm even okay with, so don't apologize for that and try to turn the rest of it around."

[not_the_s]

"So, Conner Kent puts his foot in his mouth again." Kon buried his face in his hands. "And I'd say that I didn't mean it, but I totally did. When Cassie broke up with me, you were about the one thing worth hanging onto. And then you vanished and it hurt like hell and maybe that's not your fault, but I can't just turn my feelings off, damn it. I saw you and I saw those books and I flipped out a little. I didn't have the chance...no, I didn't have the guts to say it the first time and fine, maybe you didn't want to know about Dick, but he did, and by the time I might have said something, it was too late. I wasn't going to come between you and someone you cared about. God knows you deserve better than me."

Kon was pretty sure he'd missed something important in there, but he was too busy wondering if there was any way he could salvage this. He'd screwed up so royally, he was pretty sure there was no way of recovering from this. He wasn't even sure if Tim should let him recover from this.

"I was jealous and I was hurt and absolutely none of it was your fault and you'd have no idea how sorry I am for all of it, but it's done now and I don't know how to fix it. He didn't dare look up at Tim, but his eyes ignored his directive and they slid over anyway. "Can I even fix it?"

He took a deep breath and tried to swallow around the lump in his throat. He needed to calm down. The more upset he got, the more he said or did something stupid and the more that Tim hated him.

It hit him like a brick in the face. I tried to tell you something. It happened to me. He looked away again and changed the wording of his last question. "What do you need from me?" He tried to shove everything back down his own throat. Tim was right. This wasn't about Kon, as much as Kon was hurting. As much as he needed Tim, Tim needed him first.

[liestobatman]

What he deserves is debatable, but at the very least, he deserves this, he thinks. Kon starting to get it, Kon wanting to fix it if they can. "I'm sorry that happened. If I could make it so that version of me never left, if I could make this less complicated, I would, I'm sorry things got left unsaid. And you can tell me about them if you need to, just give me some warning next time?"

He's not sure when he'd be in the mood to hear something like that, but it would have been easier with some buildup, maybe some privacy. Not that he's had the best track record of respecting it on his own end. "You're right about me avoiding it though, and I'm sorry for that too. I didn't want to know, but I do now, if it can help us figure this out." He sighs, looking past the fire at the tide, coming or going, reflecting the light at its edge. "I'm not going home any time soon, why don't we just sit down and talk?"

[not_the_s]

Kon's stomach felt like it was on some kind of roller coaster. Up and down and up and down again. Currently he was on the upswing and feeling something perilously close to hope. Tim hadn't walked away. It didn't sound like he was going to walk away. That was about as much hope as he was going to allow himself for the moment.

"There's a spot here," he suggested, nodding at a spot to the fire near him. It wasn't close enough that Tim would be creeped out, but it would be close enough to talk.

[liestobatman]

He takes it, tucking himself in with his arms around his knees. He's not going to run away this time "Alright, for right now, you can tell me anything you think I need to know. Even if it's about Dick, just...only what I need to know about that." For any other subject, he'd want the details, but not this.

[not_the_s]

"I, uh, don't know the details of that. You...he...there was Tim and Bart before that. Before I got on the island. It was kind of like the world had spun on its head when I showed up. We were in comics, that was the first thing y-he told me. And then all kinds of other stuff I didn't want to know. There was a statue by the treehouse that declared me dead. I hated that part. Then there was Cassie. She was the only sane one of the bunch." Kon ran a hand through his hair. "But soon enough, the island had its fun and it made me act like Luthor. Not the Lex here who is only sort of questionable, but the Lex Luthor from home."

He felt sick just remembering what he'd done. "I...tried to seduce Bart. And a friend of y-uhh, Tim. And did a hell of a lot more. When I...when I was myself again, Cassie broke up with me. I always thought we were this perfect couple, you know? She's forgiven me for so much."