(no subject)
I am my own worst enemy.
I think everything to death
Cora tells me my problem is that I try to turn immediacies into milestones.
Vanessa points out that I am bad at letting life attend to itself.
Dana has said that I make up expectations and it seems so weird.
They are all right.
I make all of these elabortate imaginations of what the next exciting thing in my life will be like, and then when I get there, I find it either frustrates me because it is not as I expected it, or it is and bores me because the imagining it took all the excitement out of it before it happened. Then I piss and moan on LJ because life was not exciting.
This must all seem so creepy and weird to others.
I think creating all of these expectations for myself makes everything I do, no matter how awesome, seem ordinary and horribly routine. There's Bilbo's line from Fellowship of the Ring "it's a dangerous business going out your front door." I wish it were. I wonder what I would do with all of my free time if I did so much less thinking on the future. As obvious as it sounds, I just came to realization that maybe then I would be enjoying what was right in front of me.
.........
I stood on the roof today and again marveled at how awesome it is that I live in NYC. Yeah!
I think everything to death
Cora tells me my problem is that I try to turn immediacies into milestones.
Vanessa points out that I am bad at letting life attend to itself.
Dana has said that I make up expectations and it seems so weird.
They are all right.
I make all of these elabortate imaginations of what the next exciting thing in my life will be like, and then when I get there, I find it either frustrates me because it is not as I expected it, or it is and bores me because the imagining it took all the excitement out of it before it happened. Then I piss and moan on LJ because life was not exciting.
This must all seem so creepy and weird to others.
I think creating all of these expectations for myself makes everything I do, no matter how awesome, seem ordinary and horribly routine. There's Bilbo's line from Fellowship of the Ring "it's a dangerous business going out your front door." I wish it were. I wonder what I would do with all of my free time if I did so much less thinking on the future. As obvious as it sounds, I just came to realization that maybe then I would be enjoying what was right in front of me.
.........
I stood on the roof today and again marveled at how awesome it is that I live in NYC. Yeah!