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[that_girl_420]

I haven't felt this insecure, alone
in a while
I choke on my past remarks
and spit out my regret
I've created this illusion and
I'm sick and tired of trying
to be something I'm not
I'm not as strong as everyone
is led to believe
I'm beginning to break

I've never felt so alone
I've doubted you
I've trusted you
I've believed in you
But I've come to the realization
that you aren't any of things
i once thought you were
You lack empathy
you lack feelings
You've numbed yourself with
your addictions
Keeping you away from
leading a real life
dealing with anything real
anything sincere

An unexpected situation has occurred
And I've never been so indecisive
My mind tells me the most logical
solution but my heart tells me something
completely different.
I've dealt with this before, and I've
dealt with the ramifications of it.
But I'm so happy to have made the
right decision.
But am I strong enough this time?
Am I able to endure the hardship
that would come with this?
I know what the logical thing
to do is.
But am i weak enough to succumb
to my own pain?
I'm not naive so why is it
so hard for me?