(no subject)
Hmmm, well I'm back to writing in this god forsaken piece of shit journal. But it's okay, no one reads these things, or even goes on it anymore. So why am I on? I just needed to vent. So I lost my job, and totaled my brand new car that I financed in the same day. Talk about loosing everything in a blink of an eye. Okay....I'm carless, jobless, and have a very weak relationship with my mother. I love my son so much. He is the only one that makes me smile and helps me get through the day. I'm receiving disability and saving my money to get a car. I'm sort of "talking" to thsi guy, and I could never imagine myself liking him. But I ended up liking him, and he doesn't feel the same way, I think. Which I can understand, I've gotten wasted infront of him and looking like an ass. What am i doing? Why do I do this to myself? I almost think I'm subconsiously sabtagoing any sort of potential that I could have with someone. Not having a car isn't thhe best thing either. I mean what guy would want to be with a girl with no car, no job, living iwth mom, and who has a son? I mean it's worthless. But I did at one point have it all, and slowly but surely everything caved. I have no moeny, my mom has no money, and my father hasn't been in my life for a while now. So everything I want I have to work hard at it. And it makes me sick to see that all these people my age whose parents pay for their car, car ins, apartment, cell etc. UGHH. My goal is to loose 15 pounds, and get a good job.car. Alright that's it. bye.