Yay bunnies!
1. Optimus: What?!?! You figured it out? You? How?!
Motormaster: *scoffs* Well, all it took was a little experimentation.
Optimus: *grabs MM by the shoulders and shakes him* Well, out with it, mech! The universe demands an explanation!
Motormaster: *sigh* Very well, then. When you and I transform, our trailers…
2. Through a human gun regulation organization, Optimus obtains a license for a gun matching Megatron’s unique description. As exasperating as the paperwork is, Optimus is greatly looking forward to informing Megatron that he is now technically property of Prime.
3. There’s a reason Skyfire crashed on Earth and Starscream didn’t. Skyfire shouldn’t even have been allowed to go on a scientific trip like that; he didn’t have the qualifications. Someone (either Starscream, Skyfire himself, or somebody else) altered Skyfire’s composite flight test scores and science grades.
4. What if both Starscream *and* Skyfire had gotten trapped (conscious or unconscious) on Earth?
5. From a funny phrase in this fic:
A. Sideswipe and Sunstreaker = Ketchup and Mustard (the ‘condiment twins’)
B. Cliffjumper and Bumblebee = Ketchup and Mustard
C. Megatron and Starscream = Salt and Pepper
D. Sugar and Spice (and Everything Nice)?
E. Snips and Snails (and Puppy Dog Tails)?
6. Why has no one yet commented on how dirty-sounding (by Cybertronian standards) Sparkplug’s name is?
7. A drunken spelling bee.
8. adarkindulgence suggested a Bobby Bolivia fic. Maybe Bobby could meet Swindle? A mystical bond between man and machine, indeed. And Swindle would probably find it hilarious that Bobby accidentally sold an Autobot for a few thousand dollars when he could have set himself up for life by cutting a deal with some government agency.
9. The Cybertronians are descended from slaves who rebelled against their organic masters, the Quintessons, and were simply abandoned as a failed product. The Quintessons in turn were once the biological experiments of an ancient mechanical race. It’s a neverending cycle that is repeated in every other group of aliens in the galaxy; as far as Cybertronian galactic historians can tell, all recognized sentient species started out as the creations of a different species. Then, they discover Earth and its organic inhabitants, humans: the first race ever discovered which somehow managed to make the leap from non-sentient to sentient without the intervention of another race.
10. Isn’t it strange that Starscream is the only Seeker in the classic trine whose face is black, while Skywarp is the only seeker in the trine whose body is black? It almost looks like their heads got switched…
11. Cybertron used to have natural sources of energon. The war started because these sources mysteriously stopped producing energy, and no one could figure out why. The Autobots claimed that the Decepticons were sabotaging the sources they didn’t control and wasting energy, and the Decepticons claimed that corrupt Autobots were stockpiling the energon. All of these things were actually happening on both sides, but neither side guessed that the energy flow had stopped mostly because Primus (whose alt-form was Cybertron) had died after his long period of stasis.
A. Unicron senses Primus’ death and comes to Cybertron (now his brother’s lifeless shell) to look after Primus’ children.
1) And Primus’ children attack him. How ungrateful.
2) He finds his nieces and nephews clinging to their parent’s dead body, starving and frightened. Using his powers of destruction, he encourages the war until both factions are forced to leave Cybertron.
B. A rumor spread that Cybertron’s energy stopped because the Matrix had been lost or destroyed. Some thought that the Matrix might have the power to restore life to their planet. Optimus chooses not to try because he believes (or the Matrix has told him) that it’s time for the Cybertronians to let their parent rest in peace and make their own way in the galaxy.
12. Primus hates the Cybertronians. They’re parasites, crawling over him and leeching energy from him for their own purposes… and then the cheeky little brats turn around and invoke him as a slagging deity! Unicron doesn’t mind the creatures (he thinks they’re sort of cute little things, actually) but to please his brother he tries to eliminate them.
13. Orion Pax had solemnly sworn allegiance to the Decepticons through a low-ranking recruiting officer (and actually had an appointment to get the ‘Con sigil marked into his plating) before the warehouse where he worked was attacked and his friends were killed. Being remade into Optimus conveniently destroyed Orion’s previous identity, and it was easy to alter some records so ‘Orion Pax’ had died in the attack and been completely disintegrated.
A. The contract was declared null and void after Orion had been ‘dead’ for millennia. When Megatron discovers Optimus’ former identity, he laments the passed possibility of getting Optimus to fight for him.
B. The contract still holds when Megatron finds out what really happened to ‘Orion’. He tries to manipulate Optimus into honoring the contract.
14. Perceptor couldn’t save Megatron from the Rust Plague; all he could do was stave off its effects for a few months and help Megatron get his affairs in order before the plague killed him.
A. What is Perceptor’s view on euthanasia (“mercy killing”)? For that matter, what are Ratchet and First Aid’s views?
B. If the Autobot and Decepticon scientists worked together, they might be able to formulate a cure for the plague…
C. Megatron wants to talk to Optimus about the possible future of the Cybertronian race before he dies. (I’m suddenly hearing the song ‘For Good’ from Wicked. ‘I’m limited / Just look at me / I’m limited / And just look at you, you can do all I couldn’t do, Optimus / So now it’s up to you / For both of us / Now it’s up to you… ) Many Autobots are skeptical, believing that Megatron just wants to infect his enemy.
D. Perceptor can’t cure the plague, but he does know how to create a vaccine to prevent it. Would he tell Megatron and vaccinate the other Decepticons against catching the plague? What if he doesn’t, and is caught when vaccinating himself?
E. The plague makes Megatron hallucinate vividly - everything in the cartoon from that point onward is all in his head, and the part where he turns into Galvatron is a reflection of his condition worsening.
15. Those yellow things on Optimus’ crotch kind of resemble the ‘buttons’ on Soundwave’s.
16. “He’s like a slagging force of nature!”
17. For the first time, he began to doubt.
18. It’s a little-known fact that the ranks of ‘Prime-in-Waiting’ and ‘Lord-in-Waiting’ do exist, and are held by a ‘Con and a ‘Bot who know that it’s wiser to keep their mouths shut about their potential power.
19. Someone looks up the ‘prices’ of different alt-modes, and posts a comparative list.
20. Optimus allows Beachcomber his little ‘indulgences’, because Beachcomber knows about Optimus' and Soundwave's relationship and (so far) has kept his mouth shut. When Beachcomber also learns that Optimus is giving Soundwave shipments of energon as 'child support' for his and Soundwave's sparkling (who is mute), Beachcomber starts demanding better-quality stuff.
21. Cybertron’s surface had been too tough to be damaged by any but the most severe explosions. When Wheeljack makes his first big crater on Earth, he totally panics…
Wheeljack. “RATCHET! PERCEPTOR! PRIME! STARSCREAM! Someone, anyone, help me! I broke the planet!!” *hyperventilates*
…and the Autobots are seen walking around very, very carefully for a while.
22. Wheeljack blows stuff up because right before the war, he was expelled from the Cybertronian Engineering Academy.
A. Wheeljack saw his expulsion as verification of his lack of talent (when really it was just because of a jealous student with friends in high places). He believes that his brilliant original designs must be somehow flawed, and the ‘corrections’ he puts in because of his second-guessing are the actual cause of the malfunctions.
B. Wheeljack was expelled for participating in a social/political protest.
C. Wheeljack was expelled because he really just wasn’t competent enough to earn his degree. All the inventions that actually succeed are secretly fixed by Skyfire and Perceptor and Brawn when Wheeljack isn’t working on them.
23. After a satisfying but incomplete pranking spree, Skywarp is dying to know how Megatron managed to protect his quarters so he can’t warp in.
24. Inferno always wanted to be a doctor or nurse, but he couldn’t afford to go to med school. Right before the war, he saved a large number of people from a burning hospital, including the hospital’s director. The director gave Inferno a scholarship to med school for his bravery, but he was assassinated by Decepticons (for treating Autobot warriors despite numerous threats) before he could get all the paperwork in order and Inferno was forced to quit the course. However, he was allowed to keep the textbooks he’d purchased with the scholarship money, and he studied them carefully.
Later, during the war, Ratchet is impressed by Inferno’s competent medical care for Red Alert’s glitch and offers to train him as a medic. Inferno has mixed feelings because although being a medic has been his dream for his whole life, the training would keep him from giving Red Alert his full attention.
25. Megatron is colorblind. The only way he can tell his Seekers apart is by their behavior. If their behavior were to change…
26. How would Sunstorm react if someone tried to worship him instead of Primus? His beliefs would tell him that being used as a blasphemous idol is a bad thing, but the Starscream-ness in him would just love it.
27. Perceptor is in a situation where his life (or someone else’s) depends on his ability to act as rudely as possible.
28. One of the Decepticon’s random human hostages has to settle in for a long-term stay due to complicated negotiations. Because no one wants the hostage to starve, a supermarket store on the coast closest to the ‘Con base is forced to let the cassettes in to run amok while gathering supplies for the prisoner.
Random store employee: Is your organization paying for all of this damage along with the bill for the food and clothing?
Cassettes: … *rolling on the ground with laughter*
Rumble: *snickers* Sure, squishy, just try sending Megatron a bill and he’ll make sure you get what you deserve.
29. Before the war, Starscream, Perceptor, and Skyfire plan an elaborate psychological experiment together. Their goal is to revolutionize the area of glitch- and mild-insanity-treatment technology. Then when Skyfire is lost, Starscream decides to carry out the experiment anyway in Skyfire’s memory. However, when he returns to Cybertron, he and Perceptor are separated by the war - both are preoccupied with proving themselves to their factions, and working on an experiment with each other wouldn’t help either of them to advance in the ranks.
Both of them forget about the experiment, avoiding the memory along with their memories of Skyfire. However, when Perceptor is stationed on Earth with Red Alert, he remembers the experiment and decides to conduct a few simple trials of the experiment on him. Starscream had the same idea when he found himself trapped on Earth in the company of some of the crazier ‘Cons. (He gets some excellent data from impromptu stress-inducing tests performed on Megatron.)
By accident, each of them finds out that the other has started the first phase of the experiment, and they start to covertly exchange data and discuss the meaning of their findings.
While this is going on, Skyfire (who’s had some time to reflect on all of this) has decided that the whole experiment was cruel/poorly designed/unlikely to succeed in the first place. When he finds out that it has already begun, he tries to interfere.
30. “I’m going to make him an offer he can’t refuse.”
31. Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
32. “You can’t fight in here, this is the War Room!”
33. “You want answers?”
“I want the truth!”
“You can’t handle the truth!”
34. “For someone who was never meant for this world, I must confess I'm suddenly having a hard time leaving it. Of course, they say every atom in our bodies was once part of a star. Maybe I'm not leaving... maybe I'm going home.”
35. “You serious about this? I hope you’re not wasting my time.”
“No, I… I’d give 100 percent.”
“That’ll get you half way there.”
36. “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” ~Albert Einstein
37. Base-wide memo: “The font Wingdings is hereby banned from use in all official reports.”
38. “What is that?”
“Apparently it’s called ‘Dance Dance Revolution’”
“Wait… that’s not that ‘DDR’ thing we were warned about, is it?”
“Yep.”
And… those other…”
“Rock Band and Guitar Hero.”
“Oh no. I don’t even want to know what’s in the shaking box…”
“Supposedly that’s Candyland.”
Motormaster: *scoffs* Well, all it took was a little experimentation.
Optimus: *grabs MM by the shoulders and shakes him* Well, out with it, mech! The universe demands an explanation!
Motormaster: *sigh* Very well, then. When you and I transform, our trailers…
2. Through a human gun regulation organization, Optimus obtains a license for a gun matching Megatron’s unique description. As exasperating as the paperwork is, Optimus is greatly looking forward to informing Megatron that he is now technically property of Prime.
3. There’s a reason Skyfire crashed on Earth and Starscream didn’t. Skyfire shouldn’t even have been allowed to go on a scientific trip like that; he didn’t have the qualifications. Someone (either Starscream, Skyfire himself, or somebody else) altered Skyfire’s composite flight test scores and science grades.
4. What if both Starscream *and* Skyfire had gotten trapped (conscious or unconscious) on Earth?
5. From a funny phrase in this fic:
A. Sideswipe and Sunstreaker = Ketchup and Mustard (the ‘condiment twins’)
B. Cliffjumper and Bumblebee = Ketchup and Mustard
C. Megatron and Starscream = Salt and Pepper
D. Sugar and Spice (and Everything Nice)?
E. Snips and Snails (and Puppy Dog Tails)?
6. Why has no one yet commented on how dirty-sounding (by Cybertronian standards) Sparkplug’s name is?
7. A drunken spelling bee.
8. adarkindulgence suggested a Bobby Bolivia fic. Maybe Bobby could meet Swindle? A mystical bond between man and machine, indeed. And Swindle would probably find it hilarious that Bobby accidentally sold an Autobot for a few thousand dollars when he could have set himself up for life by cutting a deal with some government agency.
9. The Cybertronians are descended from slaves who rebelled against their organic masters, the Quintessons, and were simply abandoned as a failed product. The Quintessons in turn were once the biological experiments of an ancient mechanical race. It’s a neverending cycle that is repeated in every other group of aliens in the galaxy; as far as Cybertronian galactic historians can tell, all recognized sentient species started out as the creations of a different species. Then, they discover Earth and its organic inhabitants, humans: the first race ever discovered which somehow managed to make the leap from non-sentient to sentient without the intervention of another race.
10. Isn’t it strange that Starscream is the only Seeker in the classic trine whose face is black, while Skywarp is the only seeker in the trine whose body is black? It almost looks like their heads got switched…
11. Cybertron used to have natural sources of energon. The war started because these sources mysteriously stopped producing energy, and no one could figure out why. The Autobots claimed that the Decepticons were sabotaging the sources they didn’t control and wasting energy, and the Decepticons claimed that corrupt Autobots were stockpiling the energon. All of these things were actually happening on both sides, but neither side guessed that the energy flow had stopped mostly because Primus (whose alt-form was Cybertron) had died after his long period of stasis.
A. Unicron senses Primus’ death and comes to Cybertron (now his brother’s lifeless shell) to look after Primus’ children.
1) And Primus’ children attack him. How ungrateful.
2) He finds his nieces and nephews clinging to their parent’s dead body, starving and frightened. Using his powers of destruction, he encourages the war until both factions are forced to leave Cybertron.
B. A rumor spread that Cybertron’s energy stopped because the Matrix had been lost or destroyed. Some thought that the Matrix might have the power to restore life to their planet. Optimus chooses not to try because he believes (or the Matrix has told him) that it’s time for the Cybertronians to let their parent rest in peace and make their own way in the galaxy.
12. Primus hates the Cybertronians. They’re parasites, crawling over him and leeching energy from him for their own purposes… and then the cheeky little brats turn around and invoke him as a slagging deity! Unicron doesn’t mind the creatures (he thinks they’re sort of cute little things, actually) but to please his brother he tries to eliminate them.
13. Orion Pax had solemnly sworn allegiance to the Decepticons through a low-ranking recruiting officer (and actually had an appointment to get the ‘Con sigil marked into his plating) before the warehouse where he worked was attacked and his friends were killed. Being remade into Optimus conveniently destroyed Orion’s previous identity, and it was easy to alter some records so ‘Orion Pax’ had died in the attack and been completely disintegrated.
A. The contract was declared null and void after Orion had been ‘dead’ for millennia. When Megatron discovers Optimus’ former identity, he laments the passed possibility of getting Optimus to fight for him.
B. The contract still holds when Megatron finds out what really happened to ‘Orion’. He tries to manipulate Optimus into honoring the contract.
14. Perceptor couldn’t save Megatron from the Rust Plague; all he could do was stave off its effects for a few months and help Megatron get his affairs in order before the plague killed him.
A. What is Perceptor’s view on euthanasia (“mercy killing”)? For that matter, what are Ratchet and First Aid’s views?
B. If the Autobot and Decepticon scientists worked together, they might be able to formulate a cure for the plague…
C. Megatron wants to talk to Optimus about the possible future of the Cybertronian race before he dies. (I’m suddenly hearing the song ‘For Good’ from Wicked. ‘I’m limited / Just look at me / I’m limited / And just look at you, you can do all I couldn’t do, Optimus / So now it’s up to you / For both of us / Now it’s up to you… ) Many Autobots are skeptical, believing that Megatron just wants to infect his enemy.
D. Perceptor can’t cure the plague, but he does know how to create a vaccine to prevent it. Would he tell Megatron and vaccinate the other Decepticons against catching the plague? What if he doesn’t, and is caught when vaccinating himself?
E. The plague makes Megatron hallucinate vividly - everything in the cartoon from that point onward is all in his head, and the part where he turns into Galvatron is a reflection of his condition worsening.
15. Those yellow things on Optimus’ crotch kind of resemble the ‘buttons’ on Soundwave’s.
16. “He’s like a slagging force of nature!”
17. For the first time, he began to doubt.
18. It’s a little-known fact that the ranks of ‘Prime-in-Waiting’ and ‘Lord-in-Waiting’ do exist, and are held by a ‘Con and a ‘Bot who know that it’s wiser to keep their mouths shut about their potential power.
19. Someone looks up the ‘prices’ of different alt-modes, and posts a comparative list.
20. Optimus allows Beachcomber his little ‘indulgences’, because Beachcomber knows about Optimus' and Soundwave's relationship and (so far) has kept his mouth shut. When Beachcomber also learns that Optimus is giving Soundwave shipments of energon as 'child support' for his and Soundwave's sparkling (who is mute), Beachcomber starts demanding better-quality stuff.
21. Cybertron’s surface had been too tough to be damaged by any but the most severe explosions. When Wheeljack makes his first big crater on Earth, he totally panics…
Wheeljack. “RATCHET! PERCEPTOR! PRIME! STARSCREAM! Someone, anyone, help me! I broke the planet!!” *hyperventilates*
…and the Autobots are seen walking around very, very carefully for a while.
22. Wheeljack blows stuff up because right before the war, he was expelled from the Cybertronian Engineering Academy.
A. Wheeljack saw his expulsion as verification of his lack of talent (when really it was just because of a jealous student with friends in high places). He believes that his brilliant original designs must be somehow flawed, and the ‘corrections’ he puts in because of his second-guessing are the actual cause of the malfunctions.
B. Wheeljack was expelled for participating in a social/political protest.
C. Wheeljack was expelled because he really just wasn’t competent enough to earn his degree. All the inventions that actually succeed are secretly fixed by Skyfire and Perceptor and Brawn when Wheeljack isn’t working on them.
23. After a satisfying but incomplete pranking spree, Skywarp is dying to know how Megatron managed to protect his quarters so he can’t warp in.
24. Inferno always wanted to be a doctor or nurse, but he couldn’t afford to go to med school. Right before the war, he saved a large number of people from a burning hospital, including the hospital’s director. The director gave Inferno a scholarship to med school for his bravery, but he was assassinated by Decepticons (for treating Autobot warriors despite numerous threats) before he could get all the paperwork in order and Inferno was forced to quit the course. However, he was allowed to keep the textbooks he’d purchased with the scholarship money, and he studied them carefully.
Later, during the war, Ratchet is impressed by Inferno’s competent medical care for Red Alert’s glitch and offers to train him as a medic. Inferno has mixed feelings because although being a medic has been his dream for his whole life, the training would keep him from giving Red Alert his full attention.
25. Megatron is colorblind. The only way he can tell his Seekers apart is by their behavior. If their behavior were to change…
26. How would Sunstorm react if someone tried to worship him instead of Primus? His beliefs would tell him that being used as a blasphemous idol is a bad thing, but the Starscream-ness in him would just love it.
27. Perceptor is in a situation where his life (or someone else’s) depends on his ability to act as rudely as possible.
28. One of the Decepticon’s random human hostages has to settle in for a long-term stay due to complicated negotiations. Because no one wants the hostage to starve, a supermarket store on the coast closest to the ‘Con base is forced to let the cassettes in to run amok while gathering supplies for the prisoner.
Random store employee: Is your organization paying for all of this damage along with the bill for the food and clothing?
Cassettes: … *rolling on the ground with laughter*
Rumble: *snickers* Sure, squishy, just try sending Megatron a bill and he’ll make sure you get what you deserve.
29. Before the war, Starscream, Perceptor, and Skyfire plan an elaborate psychological experiment together. Their goal is to revolutionize the area of glitch- and mild-insanity-treatment technology. Then when Skyfire is lost, Starscream decides to carry out the experiment anyway in Skyfire’s memory. However, when he returns to Cybertron, he and Perceptor are separated by the war - both are preoccupied with proving themselves to their factions, and working on an experiment with each other wouldn’t help either of them to advance in the ranks.
Both of them forget about the experiment, avoiding the memory along with their memories of Skyfire. However, when Perceptor is stationed on Earth with Red Alert, he remembers the experiment and decides to conduct a few simple trials of the experiment on him. Starscream had the same idea when he found himself trapped on Earth in the company of some of the crazier ‘Cons. (He gets some excellent data from impromptu stress-inducing tests performed on Megatron.)
By accident, each of them finds out that the other has started the first phase of the experiment, and they start to covertly exchange data and discuss the meaning of their findings.
While this is going on, Skyfire (who’s had some time to reflect on all of this) has decided that the whole experiment was cruel/poorly designed/unlikely to succeed in the first place. When he finds out that it has already begun, he tries to interfere.
30. “I’m going to make him an offer he can’t refuse.”
31. Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
32. “You can’t fight in here, this is the War Room!”
33. “You want answers?”
“I want the truth!”
“You can’t handle the truth!”
34. “For someone who was never meant for this world, I must confess I'm suddenly having a hard time leaving it. Of course, they say every atom in our bodies was once part of a star. Maybe I'm not leaving... maybe I'm going home.”
35. “You serious about this? I hope you’re not wasting my time.”
“No, I… I’d give 100 percent.”
“That’ll get you half way there.”
36. “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” ~Albert Einstein
37. Base-wide memo: “The font Wingdings is hereby banned from use in all official reports.”
38. “What is that?”
“Apparently it’s called ‘Dance Dance Revolution’”
“Wait… that’s not that ‘DDR’ thing we were warned about, is it?”
“Yep.”
And… those other…”
“Rock Band and Guitar Hero.”
“Oh no. I don’t even want to know what’s in the shaking box…”
“Supposedly that’s Candyland.”