'Better Know a Death-Eater.'
thank you caishaurianne for the giggles: Harry Potter and the Eagle of Truthiness. Absolutely hilarious! if you've seen The Colbert Report.
Allow me to share a couple quotes which had me laughing loud enough to disturb my tabby cat who was already mad at me for runnning out of her favorite cat food.
"An Animagus!" Hermione gasped, dropping her book and not even noticing.
No longer an eagle, but a man … though still every bit as majestic and impressive. His tall, lean frame was draped in velvet robes that perfectly complemented his unblemished complexion. He smoothed his thick ink-black hair - which had not been disarranged in the slightest - and raised one shrewd eyebrow as his piercing bird-of-prey gaze scanned the room from behind thin wire-rimmed spectacles.
"Allow me to present Professor Colbert," Dumbledore said. "Your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher."
~*~
"And they don't even have the balls to do their evil on their own, do they?" Professor Colbert asked. "They've got to have someone calling the shots. They've got to have a leader. This 'Dark Lord' of theirs." He did finger-quotes.
The class exchanged uneasy looks.
"That brings us to today's Word."
Beside him, the curtain on the puppet-show theater thing whisked aside, revealing a smooth blue field with The Word etched on it in letters of white fire. Beneath that, more letters appeared.
Voldemort
~*~
Apparently oblivious to the effect he was having, the professor said, "I mean, yes, he did need something with a little more zing, a little more zazz, if he wanted to get anywhere with this Dark Lord thing. The man's real name is Tom. Do you know any scary Toms?"
DeLay? asked the white letters.
"And his middle name is Marvolo," Colbert said. "Who would be afraid of a guy named Marvolo?"
Is that supposed to be a Riddle?
"Sounds like a carnival illusionist. Step right up and see the Marvelous Marvolo!"
I thought he was in the Lemony Snicket books
"No, that's Count Olaf," Colbert said. "Though he's a coward, too. Not to mention a pervert."
~*~
"If you're going to fight the evils that menace our society," Colbert barked, "you need to know what they are. And I'm here to tell you … with the Threat-Down!"
A whooping alarm klaxon resounded through the dark room. Blood-red pulsing lights flashed and flared. Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson were clinging to each other like children in a carnival haunted house. Hermione jumped and her quill skidded a jagged black scrawl across her notes. Harry instinctively grabbed for his wand.
~*~
"All right, then. One final question. Albus Dumbledore. Great Headmaster? Or … the greatest Headmaster?"
Allow me to share a couple quotes which had me laughing loud enough to disturb my tabby cat who was already mad at me for runnning out of her favorite cat food.
"An Animagus!" Hermione gasped, dropping her book and not even noticing.
No longer an eagle, but a man … though still every bit as majestic and impressive. His tall, lean frame was draped in velvet robes that perfectly complemented his unblemished complexion. He smoothed his thick ink-black hair - which had not been disarranged in the slightest - and raised one shrewd eyebrow as his piercing bird-of-prey gaze scanned the room from behind thin wire-rimmed spectacles.
"Allow me to present Professor Colbert," Dumbledore said. "Your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher."
~*~
"And they don't even have the balls to do their evil on their own, do they?" Professor Colbert asked. "They've got to have someone calling the shots. They've got to have a leader. This 'Dark Lord' of theirs." He did finger-quotes.
The class exchanged uneasy looks.
"That brings us to today's Word."
Beside him, the curtain on the puppet-show theater thing whisked aside, revealing a smooth blue field with The Word etched on it in letters of white fire. Beneath that, more letters appeared.
Voldemort
~*~
Apparently oblivious to the effect he was having, the professor said, "I mean, yes, he did need something with a little more zing, a little more zazz, if he wanted to get anywhere with this Dark Lord thing. The man's real name is Tom. Do you know any scary Toms?"
DeLay? asked the white letters.
"And his middle name is Marvolo," Colbert said. "Who would be afraid of a guy named Marvolo?"
Is that supposed to be a Riddle?
"Sounds like a carnival illusionist. Step right up and see the Marvelous Marvolo!"
I thought he was in the Lemony Snicket books
"No, that's Count Olaf," Colbert said. "Though he's a coward, too. Not to mention a pervert."
~*~
"If you're going to fight the evils that menace our society," Colbert barked, "you need to know what they are. And I'm here to tell you … with the Threat-Down!"
A whooping alarm klaxon resounded through the dark room. Blood-red pulsing lights flashed and flared. Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson were clinging to each other like children in a carnival haunted house. Hermione jumped and her quill skidded a jagged black scrawl across her notes. Harry instinctively grabbed for his wand.
~*~
"All right, then. One final question. Albus Dumbledore. Great Headmaster? Or … the greatest Headmaster?"