beguilement -

[teratism]

...

i wait, i wait, i wait, i wait
my time is like water down a drain
everybody's moving,
everybody's moving,
everybody's moving moving moving moving
please don't leave me to remain

...sorry about that
the song came on and took me to that place...
...of memories, of congealed moments frozen just for me
to linger in, to ponder, to lament...
...for they are lost, never to be regained

i've been in a quandary...
...a doldrum of nostalgia

...a bereavement for myself...

...sometimes i feel like i'm done with my life
i did all this crazy stuff in my prior years...
...crammed tons of raw experience into a matter of minutes
and squeezed, stuffing in more activity into an already overloaded life...

...what's next, what is there to do
what do i want to do, what's left...
...thrills no longer get me twitterpated
excitement normally equals anxiety nowadays...

blargh, i'll get over this...
...push through it, scramble to the other side
and leave my keening behind...
...for in reality, there is nothing to mourn
i'm just being supercilious towards myself...

...