(no subject)
The highlight of the week so far was seeing my IDOL, Renee Fleming, on Tuesday night at the Schuster Center. The concert was soooo amazing... I was kinda bummed at first because I didn't know much of the repetoire she was singing, but everything she sang was incredible. First she sang Four Last Songs by Richard Strauss, then Senza Mamma from Suor Angelica by Puccini, Poveri Fiori from Adriana Lecouvreur by Cilia, and Tacea la notte from Il Trovatore by Verdi. It was like every note she sang was electric, she was so poised and elegant. She sang three encores, which included O mio babbino caro and one of the arias from A Streetcar Named Desire.
Anyway, the point of this was to say that I'm starting to feel again like singing is what I want- no, need- to do. I'll be honest, in the middle of the concert, I burst into tears thinking that this dream of mine was gone, and that I wouldn't be able to do the only thing I think will make me happy. I know it's not totally logical, but I often find myself feeling like I've fucked this up so badly that I'll never be able to recover.
I hate knowing that the depression has gotten the best of me, and if I don't fix it, I'll lose everything. I'm just trying to get my life together so I can finally start living.
Anyway, the point of this was to say that I'm starting to feel again like singing is what I want- no, need- to do. I'll be honest, in the middle of the concert, I burst into tears thinking that this dream of mine was gone, and that I wouldn't be able to do the only thing I think will make me happy. I know it's not totally logical, but I often find myself feeling like I've fucked this up so badly that I'll never be able to recover.
I hate knowing that the depression has gotten the best of me, and if I don't fix it, I'll lose everything. I'm just trying to get my life together so I can finally start living.