The Other Side of the Fence
Title: The Other Side Of The Fence
Characters: Eloise Hawking, Jeanette Lewis, Daniel, Charlotte, Charles Widmore, Richard, Pierre Chang, Miles, Abaddon, David Lewis, OC.
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoilers for all of S5.
Summary: They'd lived on opposite sides of the fence; Eloise a Hostile, Jeanette DHARMA, yet faced with the prospect of losing their children to the island, the two women realise they have more in common than they thought.
A/N: this can be read as a stand alone fic, or as part of the Bad Man series. Previous parts can be found at Bad Man and No One Knows What It's Like To Be Hated, To Be Fated, plus a forthcoming Widmore chapter.
Part 1: Eloise
They'd talked about names a lot in the early stages of Eloise's pregnancy. Charles had hoped that if they had a son, he would be named after himself. "A good, strong name. He'll be a leader one day, like his father."
"We can't know that yet," Eloise had pointed out. “You know the process we have for leadership.”
“Of course he’ll be our leader one day,” Charles had replied. “He’s my son.”
Eloise had suggested Isaac at one point; quite apt, she was later to think when she heard Charles talking about how their son had clearly been a sacrifice that the island had demanded. Wasn’t Abraham in the Bible quite prepared to sacrifice Isaac his son when it was demanded by God?
Daniel had never been a name they had discussed. Eloise wasn’t sure why; the name had just never been mentioned. And she did wonder, when her son was handed to her at birth, whether giving him a name other than the one written in the journal would change anything. Not Charles; she didn’t want anything reminding her of him at that time, after everything that had happened during Eloise’s final days on the island, and to name him Isaac would be a permanent reminder of the sacrifice that would eventually become his fate.
“No, Eloise,” Richard had said when he visited them in hospital. “It is not for you to change anything. Jacob says that if the course of events is to be changed, Daniel must do this all himself, and it must be done on the island.”
“So I have no choice,” Eloise stated. “I have to send my son back to the island knowing full well I will be sending him to his death.”
“I’m sorry, Eloise.” Richard nodded. “I wish the news I was bringing you could be different.”
Eloise was silent for a while, not really knowing what to say.
“Charles is in England,” Richard said at last. “He wasn’t sure whether you’d want to see him.”
“He’s right about that,” Eloise replied. She was unsure what the two of them could have to say to each other now. It had become clear during those last few weeks together that the two of them had different priorities.
“What was she thinking of, messing about with radiation in her condition? Thank goodness you brought her back to me, Richard.” had been the first thing Eloise had heard when she had come round after Richard had knocked her out before she could detonate the bomb, and Charles had been unable to understand why Eloise was not also grateful to Richard for saving her. The as they had buried Daniel together, Charles had asked “You’re sure he was your son, Eloise?”; he hadn’t even flinched when Eloise had corrected him with “Our son.”
Charles had thought nothing of it when one of their people had died in her second trimester, had barely listened when Richard had reported that the same thing was happening to the DHARMA women. He had not understood, as Eloise had, that she must leave the island in order that she and her son could be saved. He had said, as she prepared to leave, that he wished it could be different, yet when Eloise had suggested that he leave with her, Charles had refused. It’s clear to me that the island wished for our son to be sacrificed, he had said, going on to speak of how everything he had done, or would ever do, was about protecting the island.
Eloise had tried not to think of him since then. He had made it clear that he did not wish to be part of their lives. She had focused all her energies on her future son. Every time someone had made an innocent remark about whether she thought she was expecting a boy or a girl, or had she thought about baby names, in a strange way it helped to focus Eloise on her purpose; to make sure Daniel changed the course of history.
“I’m surprised to see you here, Ellie,” Charles greeted her. “You seemed pretty clear last time we met that you didn’t want to see me again.”
“Why did you do it, Charles?” Eloise asked. “Why did you offer Daniel the grant for his research?” She knew what she hoped his answer would be, but needed to hear it from his own lips. Charles had made no enquiries about Daniel the last time they had met, preferring to talk about his rivalry with the incumbent Benjamin Linus as though that actually mattered (and asking Eloise if she had come to gloat). But Eloise needed to hear that Charles cared about Daniel in his own way, and that he was agreeing to fund Daniel’s research so that he could help Daniel change their past and future.
The day Daniel had mentioned the grant to Eloise had been the first time she’d thought his father might have cared after all. It hadn’t been easy, keeping Daniel’s mind firmly on his physics and way from distractions. Eloise remembered how miserable Daniel had looked when she had told him to stop playing the piano. She’d had to turn away so he wouldn’t see the look on her face when he’d told her he could make time, yet after she’d answered “if only you could”, part of her wondered if this was some sort of sign that maybe he would after all.
She had wondered what would happen when he reached the age where girlfriends might become an issue, but fortunately that hadn’t been the problem Eloise had feared it might be. This Theresa girl was the first one Daniel had ever introduced to her, and yes, Eloise had to concede that she may have been rude to her when they had met at Daniel’s graduation. Oh, the girl had seemed perfectly pleasant, but Eloise knew that there was never going to be a happy ending for the two of them, even without any interference from her. She remembered the red-haired woman who had arrived in their camp with Daniel in 1954, and she remembered what Daniel had said to Richard just before he’d left with her with the intention of disarming the bomb.
Because I’m in love with the woman sitting next to me.
Eloise couldn’t remember seeing her when they had met again in 1977; clearly something must have happened to her in the meantime. Daniel must have wondered what Eloise had meant when she had said “The women in your life will only be terribly hurt.”; she knew she could never explain that she knew from her past encounters with him that none of his relationships would end happily. Still, Eloise could not exactly say that she was sorry; it was important for Daniel to remain true to his path.
She had thought long and hard before writing the message in Daniel’s journal, wondering once more whether changing the message could lead to changing other things. But then Eloise had remembered the look on Daniel’s face as he had lain bleeding at her feet: I’m your son. And she knew that she needed to write exactly what she had seen written in the front of the journal in 1977.
Because she knew exactly what Daniel had felt in that last moment when he had looked at her, recognising her, wondered how Eloise could have sent him back to the island knowing what she knew. Eloise had watched him die questioning her love for him; she had needed to write that message in the journal as a way of making sure Daniel understood that she cared after all.
Charles’s voice broke in on Eloise’s thoughts.
“I offered him the grant because it was what I had to do,” he stated. “We both know what happens, Eloise. I had to offer Daniel the grant so he would continue his research, which will lead to him joining my expedition.”
Eloise stared at him. “So you didn’t offer to assist with his research in order to help change what happens.”
“You’re the one who always said it, Ellie. What was the expression? Course correcting. No matter what anyone tries to do, it will still happen.”
“You’re willing to accept that as Daniel’s fate?” Eloise demanded.
“It’s the fate that the island has chosen for him,” Charles replied, as he had done so long ago.
“The island?” Eloise repeated. “You still place such blind faith in its judgement. It would appear that the fate the island has chosen for you is one of exile, yet curiously you seem less prepared to accept that than you do your own son’s death.”
Charles got to his feet. “Ellie, I - “
“You have made your thoughts abundantly clear,” Eloise turned and walked away from him once more. She didn’t know why she had ever expected to receive any support from him. If anything, the encounter had just left Eloise more determined to do whatever it took to ensure Daniel’s success.
Eloise had always known that this moment was to come, and she had always known when. She received the news of the crash of Oceanic Flight 815 with a heavy heart for different reasons to others; the news of the crash served to remind Eloise that the day she dreaded was fast approaching.
She saw Charles once more before he paid his visit to Daniel. A purchase order for the wreckage of the fake Flight 815 lay in front of him on his desk; Eloise glanced at it with distaste before turning to face Charles once more.
“Must you, Charles?” she asked, knowing it was hopeless but that she had to ask.
“You know there is no choice, Ellie,” Charles replied. “Because it has already happened. And you remember what he said to you? You knew, and you sent me here anyway. You have to be the one that sends him, and he has to do this on the island as Jacob said.”
Eloise glanced at the paperwork once more. “And this is how you’ll convince him to go.”
Charles nodded.
“You feel nothing at all?” Eloise asked, wondering why she was bothering as she believed she knew the answer. She knew that he no longer had a relationship with his daughter, Penelope, either, and that he had no qualms about that, feeling it was a necessary sacrifice. Charles presumably thought that by sending Daniel back, this sacrifice would allow him to return himself, the stupid, stupid man.
Eloise watched barely a few minutes of the coverage when the fake wreckage was discovered. Foolish, she knew; it would make no difference. She could not pretend not to know that Charles was with Daniel that day, not to know what was happening.
“It was strange,” Charles admitted to Eloise after he left Daniel. “Seeing him like that, looking just the same as he did when he told you to bury the bomb, and then again in 1977.”
Eloise remembered how when she had been expecting Daniel, people had asked what she thought he might look like, and how she had already known.
“You’ll be pleased to hear that he said no,” Charles continued. "He didn’t think that he would be suitable, even as I explained that the island would heal him. But maybe it’s because he doesn’t know me. He listens to you, he trusts you. That’s how it has to be.”
Eloise kept her eyes firmly fixed on Daniel’s face as she spoke to him for what she knew would be one of the last times, almost as if she was memorising his face in preparation for that day. Foolish, she knew, since she had been familiar with that face for such a long time now, had seen it every night as she closed her eyes ever since she fired the gun.
“Will you be proud of me?” Daniel had asked as Eloise finished telling him he must accept the invitation. She remembered the dedication in the journal, and she remembered his dying words, and she knew why he was asking.
“Of course I will.”
Eloise recognised the faces she saw at the airport as she delivered Daniel for his flight to Fiji - the Chinese man from 1954, who she now knew to be Pierre Chang’s boy, and the red-haired English woman from the same day. The woman accompanying her had been DHARMA too, Eloise believed, although she could not recall her name (Eloise doubted that this woman had been particularly high in the DHARMA hierarchy).
Charles was there, with his assistant Abaddon, watching as his chosen people prepared to board their flight (just as Eloise had watched him surveying all those who were to embark on his sailing race, although he had not known it). She remembered him that day, how he had seemed to focus his attention on the man Desmond Hume, and how she had admired the way he had withstood Charles’s scrutiny. Eloise looked at Charles now and wondered whether he would spare more than a passing glance for Daniel now, or would he treat him just like any other member of the crew?
“We’re about to board now, Charlotte,” the Chinese man spoke up, and Charlotte turned away from her companion. “Okay, Miles, I’ll be with you in a minute.”
Daniel turned to Eloise and said “So, uh, I guess I’d better get going.”
The two of them looked at each other awkwardly for what felt like a long time. Eloise wondered whether they should embrace; it was not usual for the two of them, yet she knew that it was the last time she would see her son. Daniel still believed he would be home in a few weeks; did Eloise really want to cause him to suspect that this may not be the case?
Eventually, she pulled him into an awkward, brief embrace. “Goodbye, Daniel,” she said, wondering what else she could say; shouldn’t she say something more on this occasion?
Daniel made as if to leave, then turned back towards Eloise.
“I’ll make you proud of me,” he said. “I promise you.”
Eloise swallowed hard, watching as he ran to catch up with Charlotte and Miles. She was dimly aware that Charles had broken off his conversation with Matthew Abaddon and had made his way over to her side.
“Ellie,” he began. “I understand…”
“Just don’t.” Eloise held up her hand, cutting him off. “You can never possibly understand.”
With that, she turned and walked away.
Part 2: Jeanette
Jeanette hadn’t been convinced about the idea at first. She wasn’t sure she wanted to raise kids on an island in the middle of nowhere. It had been her first husband, Henry, who had been enthusiastic about the idea, ever since he’d met the man named Horace Goodspeed and heard about how these experiments were allegedly going to change the world. “And you don’t need to worry about bringing kids up there. When we have them, Horace says they’ll get a good education.” Well, he would, wouldn’t he? Jeanette had thought, since that was when Horace’s first wife, Olivia, was still around and was running the DHARMA school at the time.
But she’d been persuaded, and once she’d been to the island and spent time among the D.I., Jeanette had come round to Henry’s way of thinking. And when she’d discovered that she was expecting Charlotte, she’d been happy about the prospect of raising her among the DHARMA community. True, she had been a little apprehensive at first, before Horace had negotiated the truce with the people called Hostiles. But it had held for several years, apart from that one blip in ‘74 when Amy’s first husband died, but Jim LaFleur had sorted that at the time.
Charlotte hadn’t actually been born on the island, of course, although she had been taken there when she was a week old, as all DHARMA babies were, apart from Amy’s boy who had been premature. (That was to help Jeanette later, in fact, when Charlotte continued to insist that she’d been born on an island and Jeanette said she hadn’t. How could anyone argue when Jeanette produced a birth certificate listing Ann Arbor as place of birth?)
And for six years, the family had lived there happily, with no sense of foreboding, until the day when Charlotte had run to her, crying, yelling something about a bad man.
“What’s the matter, love?” she’d asked, before looking up to see the man named Daniel Faraday before her. “Oh.” she’d frowned. “You.”
Faraday had left the island a couple of years earlier, and Jeanette had to admit she hadn’t been sorry to see him go. Since he’d arrived with LaFleur, his girlfriend Juliet, Jin and Miles, Jeanette and Henry had thought there was something odd about him. It was something about his manner every time he was anywhere near Charlotte; he’d kept staring at her in a way that made them feel uncomfortable. Eventually, Henry had complained to LaFleur about it. Jeanette didn’t know what exactly had been said, but Faraday had departed on the next sub.
“You’re going to have to lie,” Faraday began. “When Dr, Chang orders the evacuation of the island, and you and Charlotte get on the sub…you’re going to have to convince Charlotte that she never lived on an island, that she made it all up. Because if Charlotte doesn’t believe that the island’s real, then she’ll never want to come back here.”
“What on earth are you talking about?” Jeanette demanded. She’d always thought Faraday was odd, but this made no sense. Evacuation of the island? The man was clearly insane. “Don’t you think you’ve frightened my daughter enough?”
But Faraday went on. “You can’t ever let Charlotte come back here. Because if what I’m trying to do doesn’t work, and she’s here when Benjamin Linus moves the wheel, Charlotte will die!”
Benjamin Linus? That odd little boy who’d just been shot, Roger’s kid? How could he be involved?
“How dare you?” she’d said. “Stay away from my daughter and from me.”
He’d mumbled something incoherent, then dashed away. Jeanette was left to detach Charlotte’s arms from around her waist, mumbling mechanically “It’s all right, love, the bad man’s gone.” But inside, her mind was racing. Could any of this possibly be true?
“I don’t understand what all the fuss is about,” David, her second husband, had said. “She’ll grow out of it eventually, I’m sure. Why did you get so angry at that teacher? Besides, it’s true. Charlotte does have a very active imagination.”
It was true that if Jeanette had taken time to think, she wouldn’t have gone to Charlotte’s school to complain about that report. All she’d achieved was to draw attention to herself. Charlotte’s teacher hadn’t taken any of what was in that storybook seriously. Why would she? Polar bears in the jungle…taken out of context, Jeanette wouldn’t have believed it either.
It had just been the shock of seeing that written down, the realisation that Jeanette had not yet succeeded in what she set out to do. Charlotte still believed that the island was real.
The whole idea of convincing Charlotte she’d made it all up had made no sense when Jeanette had first heard it. But here was something about the way Faraday had said it that had made her stop and wonder. He’d mentioned Dr. Chang; maybe he could explain things?
She’d found him frantically co-ordinating his men when she’d arrived at the lab. It had only occurred to her afterwards that Pierre already looked shell-shocked before she’d even spoken to him, confronted him with this strange tale. Jeanette hadn’t known what she’d expected him to say; that the man was crazy, and Pierre knew nothing of any evacuation? Or something that would make sense of it?
Instead, he’d seemed to be only half-listening to her. “So that’s how it happens,” he’d said. Benjamin Linus…Yes, moving the wheel would do exactly that…”
“Never mind bloody Ben!” Jeanette had exploded. “What’s this about evacuating the island?”
“The man you spoke to has been right about everything else so far,” Pierre had replied. “If he’s told you you can never bring Charlotte back here, then you must make sure she never returns.”
Henry had had difficulty understanding, of course. He’d kept asking why Jeanette and Charlotte couldn’t just return once the danger had passed. And there hadn’t even been time to talk properly, for Pierre had insisted that the island must be evacuated that same day. Jeanette had just been forced to accept his assurances that he’d explain everything later. However, having seen the way Pierre had ordered his own wife, Lara, off the island without explanation, Jeanette had to question how well he really would.
Sometimes, Jeanette was still confused. People had seemed to think it only natural when they’d asked her about her life before moving to Bromsgrove, and she’d stumbled over the words ”My husband died”. It seemed so wrong for her to say that, knowing that Henry was still out there, many miles away. And yet Jeanette knew that she could never see him again, so in some ways it felt as though he really was.
They hadn’t been in Bromsgrove long when Jeanette met David Lewis. He was very different from Henry; very grounded where Henry had been so gung-ho about his crazy-sounding experiments. And after the drama that had been life on DHARMA with Henry, Jeanette thought that a man like David and the lifestyle he offered were exactly what she and Charlotte needed.
The first time she introduced David to Charlotte, Jeanette’s main worry had been about how they would get along. Would Charlotte accept this new father figure in her life? But what she hadn’t been expecting was Charlotte to walk up to David, gaze up at him and say “I lived on an island once.”
Against all odds, Jeanette had begun to think that Faraday’s plan might have worked. Charlotte had asked about the island a few times after the sub journey, when she’d still been confused from the tranquillisers, and Jeanette had easily dealt with that. But she hadn’t brought it up in a while, and Jeanette had hoped that meant the end of it.
“No you didn’t, Charlotte,” Jeanette had hastily said, forcing a smile. “That’s just a game you played when you were younger.”
“I did, I did!” Charlotte protested, stamping her foot. “There were polar bears in the jungle.”
“Don’t be silly, Charlotte. Polar bears don’t live in the jungle!” Jeanette had snapped, hastily apologising to David. He’d laughed it off, said something about a niece of his and her imaginary friend. Eventually, the whole thing had seemed to be forgotten. But Jeanette still thought about it for a long time afterwards. She knew David must have thought she’d overreacted to what must have sounded like a childish game to him. And she knew how much she hated remembering all the times she’d yelled at Charlotte, insisted that rabbits didn’t have numbers stamped on them or that Charlotte had never lived on an island at all. Every time she saw Charlotte’s eyes fill with tears, she’d wonder why she was doing this. Then Jeanette would remember the words of the man Charlotte had called the bad man, and she’d remember exactly why she’d vowed that Charlotte must never remember the island; because if she ever set out to the island again, she never would return.
For a long time, it seemed as though other children had achieved what Jeanette could not.
The children in Charlotte’s class had laughed at her every time she mentioned the island, which Jeanette knew had worsened after her ill-advised trip to the school to complain about that report. Eventually, one day when Charlotte had come home crying about teasing, Jeanette had gently suggested that Charlotte might fit in better with her classmates if she stopped telling stories.
And that had seemed to work; Jeanette had heard no more of the island for a long time. She’d thought about it again when Charlotte had revealed her ambition to become an anthropologist, wondered whether it could possibly have anything to do with those memories that Charlotte had never quite suppressed?
But what could she do? Charlotte was an adult; she could make her own choices. To object to this would only make Charlotte more determined to pursue this career choice, might even make her realise that Jeanette had been lying this whole time. David had approved of her choice; he’d been grateful that Charlotte was doing something with her life. Jeanette could never explain why the mere idea of Charlotte studying anthropology had chilled her to the bone, couldn’t tell either David or Charlotte that the warnings of the bad man reverberated in her brain more than ever.
It was hardly likely to happen anyway, Jeanette told herself. One thing she did remember was that the island was supposed to be hard to find, so the chances were, she’d struggle to get there anyway.
She therefore tried not to worry about it until the day Charlotte returned from the Tunisia expedition, slamming some object down in front of her. As Jeanette took the collar and recognised the familiar octagonal DHARMA logo, she realised with horror that what she had dreaded had indeed come to pass.
“You lied to me,” Charlotte began. “You knew all along that my memories of the island were real, and you kept on lying to me that I made it all up!”
“Charlotte, I - “ Jeanette stammered, but Charlotte interrupted “And you always told me Daddy had died when I was a little girl, but Mr. Abaddon told me he died in 1992! I could have seen him again before he died if you’d told me the truth!”
“Charlotte, you have to understand that I did what I had to do to protect you,” Jeanette began, thinking frantically to try and come up with something to persuade Charlotte to leave the island in her past, without telling her about her future death. And yet she understood Charlotte’s feelings of betrayal, and had to admit to some feelings she didn’t really understand herself about Henry’s death, which was in some ways a shock, yet in some ways she’d half-believed it already after all the times she’d told people he was dead. She couldn’t deal with that now, though.
“Protect me?” Charlotte spat. “By lying to me all my life, by making me doubt that any of my memories are real? You know, I don’t even think I want to hear what you have to say, because it’s just going to be one bloody lie after another.” she turned as if to go, but Jeanette grabbed her by the arm.
“Charlotte, wait! I did it to try and save you…” she began, knowing that there was no other way now but to admit the truth, but Charlotte wrenched her arm from her mother’s grasp.
“Don’t even bother. I don’t want to hear it.”
Charlotte didn’t tell Jeanette when she was preparing to board the freighter, but she did say goodbye to David. Jeanette could sense the hurt and confusion in David’s eyes as he went to give her Charlotte’s departure time; she knew he was still struggling to understand why she had lied all these years. But what could she have said? “A man from the future told me I mustn’t ever let Charlotte remember the island or she would die?” He wouldn’t have believed that even if she had told him.
“You should go, see her off before the flight. You don’t want her to leave with bad feeling between you,” David had said, and Jeanette knew that it was true. If Faraday had been right, then Charlotte would not be coming home from the island, and Jeanette would never see her again.
She had tried her hardest to prevent Charlotte from returning to the island; now she had to accept that there was nothing further she could do to save her.
It wasn’t hard to spot Charlotte among the crowds of people awaiting the flight to Fiji, standing near a man of Asian origin (was that the Chang boy, what was his name again?) and not far away…was that him? Was that Charlotte’s bad man?
Look at him, Charlotte, Jeanette frantically thought. Look at that man, and see if you remember him from years ago. See if you can remember what he said to you. Do you still really want to go on this trip?
As if she could hear her, Charlotte glanced up, frowning when she saw her mother.
“You came,” she said. “Why are you here?”
“I - I didn’t want us to part on bad terms,” Jeanette swallowed hard.
Charlotte broke away from the man she’d been talking to and ran towards her mother. “We’ll talk about it when I get back,” she whispered.
“Charlotte - “ Jeanette began, knowing there was still so much to say and not enough time to say it in, not really knowing where to start anyway, but another voice interrupted before she could continue.
“We’re about to board now, Charlotte.”
Charlotte pulled away from Jeanette. “Okay, Miles. I’ll be with you in a minute.” She reached down to pick up her luggage. “I have to go now.”
Jeanette watched her for a long time after she left for her flight.
The two women’s eyes met across the crowds at the airport, and both recognised themselves in the face that was looking back at them.
They had lived their lives on opposite sides of the fence when they had lived on the island, and the two sides were never supposed to meet. Even following the truce Horace Goodspeed and Richard Alpert had negotiated, Jeanette had become used to fearing the names Eloise Hawking and Charles Widmore, Hostile leaders whose names were only ever spoken in hushed whispers throughout the DHARMA camp.
Eloise, meanwhile, had been dismissive of the DHARMA Initiative and their ridiculous experiments from the start (although not to the extent of Charles, who had repeatedly demanded of Richard why Jacob had brought those fools to the island).
Yet they looked at each other now, and took tentative steps towards each other, and none of their past mattered. They were Eloise and Jeanette, two women united in their fear for their children, in their grief and shared feelings of hopelessness at the future they both knew would come to pass and that they were powerless to prevent.
Characters: Eloise Hawking, Jeanette Lewis, Daniel, Charlotte, Charles Widmore, Richard, Pierre Chang, Miles, Abaddon, David Lewis, OC.
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoilers for all of S5.
Summary: They'd lived on opposite sides of the fence; Eloise a Hostile, Jeanette DHARMA, yet faced with the prospect of losing their children to the island, the two women realise they have more in common than they thought.
A/N: this can be read as a stand alone fic, or as part of the Bad Man series. Previous parts can be found at Bad Man and No One Knows What It's Like To Be Hated, To Be Fated, plus a forthcoming Widmore chapter.
Part 1: Eloise
They'd talked about names a lot in the early stages of Eloise's pregnancy. Charles had hoped that if they had a son, he would be named after himself. "A good, strong name. He'll be a leader one day, like his father."
"We can't know that yet," Eloise had pointed out. “You know the process we have for leadership.”
“Of course he’ll be our leader one day,” Charles had replied. “He’s my son.”
Eloise had suggested Isaac at one point; quite apt, she was later to think when she heard Charles talking about how their son had clearly been a sacrifice that the island had demanded. Wasn’t Abraham in the Bible quite prepared to sacrifice Isaac his son when it was demanded by God?
Daniel had never been a name they had discussed. Eloise wasn’t sure why; the name had just never been mentioned. And she did wonder, when her son was handed to her at birth, whether giving him a name other than the one written in the journal would change anything. Not Charles; she didn’t want anything reminding her of him at that time, after everything that had happened during Eloise’s final days on the island, and to name him Isaac would be a permanent reminder of the sacrifice that would eventually become his fate.
“No, Eloise,” Richard had said when he visited them in hospital. “It is not for you to change anything. Jacob says that if the course of events is to be changed, Daniel must do this all himself, and it must be done on the island.”
“So I have no choice,” Eloise stated. “I have to send my son back to the island knowing full well I will be sending him to his death.”
“I’m sorry, Eloise.” Richard nodded. “I wish the news I was bringing you could be different.”
Eloise was silent for a while, not really knowing what to say.
“Charles is in England,” Richard said at last. “He wasn’t sure whether you’d want to see him.”
“He’s right about that,” Eloise replied. She was unsure what the two of them could have to say to each other now. It had become clear during those last few weeks together that the two of them had different priorities.
“What was she thinking of, messing about with radiation in her condition? Thank goodness you brought her back to me, Richard.” had been the first thing Eloise had heard when she had come round after Richard had knocked her out before she could detonate the bomb, and Charles had been unable to understand why Eloise was not also grateful to Richard for saving her. The as they had buried Daniel together, Charles had asked “You’re sure he was your son, Eloise?”; he hadn’t even flinched when Eloise had corrected him with “Our son.”
Charles had thought nothing of it when one of their people had died in her second trimester, had barely listened when Richard had reported that the same thing was happening to the DHARMA women. He had not understood, as Eloise had, that she must leave the island in order that she and her son could be saved. He had said, as she prepared to leave, that he wished it could be different, yet when Eloise had suggested that he leave with her, Charles had refused. It’s clear to me that the island wished for our son to be sacrificed, he had said, going on to speak of how everything he had done, or would ever do, was about protecting the island.
Eloise had tried not to think of him since then. He had made it clear that he did not wish to be part of their lives. She had focused all her energies on her future son. Every time someone had made an innocent remark about whether she thought she was expecting a boy or a girl, or had she thought about baby names, in a strange way it helped to focus Eloise on her purpose; to make sure Daniel changed the course of history.
“I’m surprised to see you here, Ellie,” Charles greeted her. “You seemed pretty clear last time we met that you didn’t want to see me again.”
“Why did you do it, Charles?” Eloise asked. “Why did you offer Daniel the grant for his research?” She knew what she hoped his answer would be, but needed to hear it from his own lips. Charles had made no enquiries about Daniel the last time they had met, preferring to talk about his rivalry with the incumbent Benjamin Linus as though that actually mattered (and asking Eloise if she had come to gloat). But Eloise needed to hear that Charles cared about Daniel in his own way, and that he was agreeing to fund Daniel’s research so that he could help Daniel change their past and future.
The day Daniel had mentioned the grant to Eloise had been the first time she’d thought his father might have cared after all. It hadn’t been easy, keeping Daniel’s mind firmly on his physics and way from distractions. Eloise remembered how miserable Daniel had looked when she had told him to stop playing the piano. She’d had to turn away so he wouldn’t see the look on her face when he’d told her he could make time, yet after she’d answered “if only you could”, part of her wondered if this was some sort of sign that maybe he would after all.
She had wondered what would happen when he reached the age where girlfriends might become an issue, but fortunately that hadn’t been the problem Eloise had feared it might be. This Theresa girl was the first one Daniel had ever introduced to her, and yes, Eloise had to concede that she may have been rude to her when they had met at Daniel’s graduation. Oh, the girl had seemed perfectly pleasant, but Eloise knew that there was never going to be a happy ending for the two of them, even without any interference from her. She remembered the red-haired woman who had arrived in their camp with Daniel in 1954, and she remembered what Daniel had said to Richard just before he’d left with her with the intention of disarming the bomb.
Because I’m in love with the woman sitting next to me.
Eloise couldn’t remember seeing her when they had met again in 1977; clearly something must have happened to her in the meantime. Daniel must have wondered what Eloise had meant when she had said “The women in your life will only be terribly hurt.”; she knew she could never explain that she knew from her past encounters with him that none of his relationships would end happily. Still, Eloise could not exactly say that she was sorry; it was important for Daniel to remain true to his path.
She had thought long and hard before writing the message in Daniel’s journal, wondering once more whether changing the message could lead to changing other things. But then Eloise had remembered the look on Daniel’s face as he had lain bleeding at her feet: I’m your son. And she knew that she needed to write exactly what she had seen written in the front of the journal in 1977.
Because she knew exactly what Daniel had felt in that last moment when he had looked at her, recognising her, wondered how Eloise could have sent him back to the island knowing what she knew. Eloise had watched him die questioning her love for him; she had needed to write that message in the journal as a way of making sure Daniel understood that she cared after all.
Charles’s voice broke in on Eloise’s thoughts.
“I offered him the grant because it was what I had to do,” he stated. “We both know what happens, Eloise. I had to offer Daniel the grant so he would continue his research, which will lead to him joining my expedition.”
Eloise stared at him. “So you didn’t offer to assist with his research in order to help change what happens.”
“You’re the one who always said it, Ellie. What was the expression? Course correcting. No matter what anyone tries to do, it will still happen.”
“You’re willing to accept that as Daniel’s fate?” Eloise demanded.
“It’s the fate that the island has chosen for him,” Charles replied, as he had done so long ago.
“The island?” Eloise repeated. “You still place such blind faith in its judgement. It would appear that the fate the island has chosen for you is one of exile, yet curiously you seem less prepared to accept that than you do your own son’s death.”
Charles got to his feet. “Ellie, I - “
“You have made your thoughts abundantly clear,” Eloise turned and walked away from him once more. She didn’t know why she had ever expected to receive any support from him. If anything, the encounter had just left Eloise more determined to do whatever it took to ensure Daniel’s success.
Eloise had always known that this moment was to come, and she had always known when. She received the news of the crash of Oceanic Flight 815 with a heavy heart for different reasons to others; the news of the crash served to remind Eloise that the day she dreaded was fast approaching.
She saw Charles once more before he paid his visit to Daniel. A purchase order for the wreckage of the fake Flight 815 lay in front of him on his desk; Eloise glanced at it with distaste before turning to face Charles once more.
“Must you, Charles?” she asked, knowing it was hopeless but that she had to ask.
“You know there is no choice, Ellie,” Charles replied. “Because it has already happened. And you remember what he said to you? You knew, and you sent me here anyway. You have to be the one that sends him, and he has to do this on the island as Jacob said.”
Eloise glanced at the paperwork once more. “And this is how you’ll convince him to go.”
Charles nodded.
“You feel nothing at all?” Eloise asked, wondering why she was bothering as she believed she knew the answer. She knew that he no longer had a relationship with his daughter, Penelope, either, and that he had no qualms about that, feeling it was a necessary sacrifice. Charles presumably thought that by sending Daniel back, this sacrifice would allow him to return himself, the stupid, stupid man.
Eloise watched barely a few minutes of the coverage when the fake wreckage was discovered. Foolish, she knew; it would make no difference. She could not pretend not to know that Charles was with Daniel that day, not to know what was happening.
“It was strange,” Charles admitted to Eloise after he left Daniel. “Seeing him like that, looking just the same as he did when he told you to bury the bomb, and then again in 1977.”
Eloise remembered how when she had been expecting Daniel, people had asked what she thought he might look like, and how she had already known.
“You’ll be pleased to hear that he said no,” Charles continued. "He didn’t think that he would be suitable, even as I explained that the island would heal him. But maybe it’s because he doesn’t know me. He listens to you, he trusts you. That’s how it has to be.”
Eloise kept her eyes firmly fixed on Daniel’s face as she spoke to him for what she knew would be one of the last times, almost as if she was memorising his face in preparation for that day. Foolish, she knew, since she had been familiar with that face for such a long time now, had seen it every night as she closed her eyes ever since she fired the gun.
“Will you be proud of me?” Daniel had asked as Eloise finished telling him he must accept the invitation. She remembered the dedication in the journal, and she remembered his dying words, and she knew why he was asking.
“Of course I will.”
Eloise recognised the faces she saw at the airport as she delivered Daniel for his flight to Fiji - the Chinese man from 1954, who she now knew to be Pierre Chang’s boy, and the red-haired English woman from the same day. The woman accompanying her had been DHARMA too, Eloise believed, although she could not recall her name (Eloise doubted that this woman had been particularly high in the DHARMA hierarchy).
Charles was there, with his assistant Abaddon, watching as his chosen people prepared to board their flight (just as Eloise had watched him surveying all those who were to embark on his sailing race, although he had not known it). She remembered him that day, how he had seemed to focus his attention on the man Desmond Hume, and how she had admired the way he had withstood Charles’s scrutiny. Eloise looked at Charles now and wondered whether he would spare more than a passing glance for Daniel now, or would he treat him just like any other member of the crew?
“We’re about to board now, Charlotte,” the Chinese man spoke up, and Charlotte turned away from her companion. “Okay, Miles, I’ll be with you in a minute.”
Daniel turned to Eloise and said “So, uh, I guess I’d better get going.”
The two of them looked at each other awkwardly for what felt like a long time. Eloise wondered whether they should embrace; it was not usual for the two of them, yet she knew that it was the last time she would see her son. Daniel still believed he would be home in a few weeks; did Eloise really want to cause him to suspect that this may not be the case?
Eventually, she pulled him into an awkward, brief embrace. “Goodbye, Daniel,” she said, wondering what else she could say; shouldn’t she say something more on this occasion?
Daniel made as if to leave, then turned back towards Eloise.
“I’ll make you proud of me,” he said. “I promise you.”
Eloise swallowed hard, watching as he ran to catch up with Charlotte and Miles. She was dimly aware that Charles had broken off his conversation with Matthew Abaddon and had made his way over to her side.
“Ellie,” he began. “I understand…”
“Just don’t.” Eloise held up her hand, cutting him off. “You can never possibly understand.”
With that, she turned and walked away.
Part 2: Jeanette
Jeanette hadn’t been convinced about the idea at first. She wasn’t sure she wanted to raise kids on an island in the middle of nowhere. It had been her first husband, Henry, who had been enthusiastic about the idea, ever since he’d met the man named Horace Goodspeed and heard about how these experiments were allegedly going to change the world. “And you don’t need to worry about bringing kids up there. When we have them, Horace says they’ll get a good education.” Well, he would, wouldn’t he? Jeanette had thought, since that was when Horace’s first wife, Olivia, was still around and was running the DHARMA school at the time.
But she’d been persuaded, and once she’d been to the island and spent time among the D.I., Jeanette had come round to Henry’s way of thinking. And when she’d discovered that she was expecting Charlotte, she’d been happy about the prospect of raising her among the DHARMA community. True, she had been a little apprehensive at first, before Horace had negotiated the truce with the people called Hostiles. But it had held for several years, apart from that one blip in ‘74 when Amy’s first husband died, but Jim LaFleur had sorted that at the time.
Charlotte hadn’t actually been born on the island, of course, although she had been taken there when she was a week old, as all DHARMA babies were, apart from Amy’s boy who had been premature. (That was to help Jeanette later, in fact, when Charlotte continued to insist that she’d been born on an island and Jeanette said she hadn’t. How could anyone argue when Jeanette produced a birth certificate listing Ann Arbor as place of birth?)
And for six years, the family had lived there happily, with no sense of foreboding, until the day when Charlotte had run to her, crying, yelling something about a bad man.
“What’s the matter, love?” she’d asked, before looking up to see the man named Daniel Faraday before her. “Oh.” she’d frowned. “You.”
Faraday had left the island a couple of years earlier, and Jeanette had to admit she hadn’t been sorry to see him go. Since he’d arrived with LaFleur, his girlfriend Juliet, Jin and Miles, Jeanette and Henry had thought there was something odd about him. It was something about his manner every time he was anywhere near Charlotte; he’d kept staring at her in a way that made them feel uncomfortable. Eventually, Henry had complained to LaFleur about it. Jeanette didn’t know what exactly had been said, but Faraday had departed on the next sub.
“You’re going to have to lie,” Faraday began. “When Dr, Chang orders the evacuation of the island, and you and Charlotte get on the sub…you’re going to have to convince Charlotte that she never lived on an island, that she made it all up. Because if Charlotte doesn’t believe that the island’s real, then she’ll never want to come back here.”
“What on earth are you talking about?” Jeanette demanded. She’d always thought Faraday was odd, but this made no sense. Evacuation of the island? The man was clearly insane. “Don’t you think you’ve frightened my daughter enough?”
But Faraday went on. “You can’t ever let Charlotte come back here. Because if what I’m trying to do doesn’t work, and she’s here when Benjamin Linus moves the wheel, Charlotte will die!”
Benjamin Linus? That odd little boy who’d just been shot, Roger’s kid? How could he be involved?
“How dare you?” she’d said. “Stay away from my daughter and from me.”
He’d mumbled something incoherent, then dashed away. Jeanette was left to detach Charlotte’s arms from around her waist, mumbling mechanically “It’s all right, love, the bad man’s gone.” But inside, her mind was racing. Could any of this possibly be true?
“I don’t understand what all the fuss is about,” David, her second husband, had said. “She’ll grow out of it eventually, I’m sure. Why did you get so angry at that teacher? Besides, it’s true. Charlotte does have a very active imagination.”
It was true that if Jeanette had taken time to think, she wouldn’t have gone to Charlotte’s school to complain about that report. All she’d achieved was to draw attention to herself. Charlotte’s teacher hadn’t taken any of what was in that storybook seriously. Why would she? Polar bears in the jungle…taken out of context, Jeanette wouldn’t have believed it either.
It had just been the shock of seeing that written down, the realisation that Jeanette had not yet succeeded in what she set out to do. Charlotte still believed that the island was real.
The whole idea of convincing Charlotte she’d made it all up had made no sense when Jeanette had first heard it. But here was something about the way Faraday had said it that had made her stop and wonder. He’d mentioned Dr. Chang; maybe he could explain things?
She’d found him frantically co-ordinating his men when she’d arrived at the lab. It had only occurred to her afterwards that Pierre already looked shell-shocked before she’d even spoken to him, confronted him with this strange tale. Jeanette hadn’t known what she’d expected him to say; that the man was crazy, and Pierre knew nothing of any evacuation? Or something that would make sense of it?
Instead, he’d seemed to be only half-listening to her. “So that’s how it happens,” he’d said. Benjamin Linus…Yes, moving the wheel would do exactly that…”
“Never mind bloody Ben!” Jeanette had exploded. “What’s this about evacuating the island?”
“The man you spoke to has been right about everything else so far,” Pierre had replied. “If he’s told you you can never bring Charlotte back here, then you must make sure she never returns.”
Henry had had difficulty understanding, of course. He’d kept asking why Jeanette and Charlotte couldn’t just return once the danger had passed. And there hadn’t even been time to talk properly, for Pierre had insisted that the island must be evacuated that same day. Jeanette had just been forced to accept his assurances that he’d explain everything later. However, having seen the way Pierre had ordered his own wife, Lara, off the island without explanation, Jeanette had to question how well he really would.
Sometimes, Jeanette was still confused. People had seemed to think it only natural when they’d asked her about her life before moving to Bromsgrove, and she’d stumbled over the words ”My husband died”. It seemed so wrong for her to say that, knowing that Henry was still out there, many miles away. And yet Jeanette knew that she could never see him again, so in some ways it felt as though he really was.
They hadn’t been in Bromsgrove long when Jeanette met David Lewis. He was very different from Henry; very grounded where Henry had been so gung-ho about his crazy-sounding experiments. And after the drama that had been life on DHARMA with Henry, Jeanette thought that a man like David and the lifestyle he offered were exactly what she and Charlotte needed.
The first time she introduced David to Charlotte, Jeanette’s main worry had been about how they would get along. Would Charlotte accept this new father figure in her life? But what she hadn’t been expecting was Charlotte to walk up to David, gaze up at him and say “I lived on an island once.”
Against all odds, Jeanette had begun to think that Faraday’s plan might have worked. Charlotte had asked about the island a few times after the sub journey, when she’d still been confused from the tranquillisers, and Jeanette had easily dealt with that. But she hadn’t brought it up in a while, and Jeanette had hoped that meant the end of it.
“No you didn’t, Charlotte,” Jeanette had hastily said, forcing a smile. “That’s just a game you played when you were younger.”
“I did, I did!” Charlotte protested, stamping her foot. “There were polar bears in the jungle.”
“Don’t be silly, Charlotte. Polar bears don’t live in the jungle!” Jeanette had snapped, hastily apologising to David. He’d laughed it off, said something about a niece of his and her imaginary friend. Eventually, the whole thing had seemed to be forgotten. But Jeanette still thought about it for a long time afterwards. She knew David must have thought she’d overreacted to what must have sounded like a childish game to him. And she knew how much she hated remembering all the times she’d yelled at Charlotte, insisted that rabbits didn’t have numbers stamped on them or that Charlotte had never lived on an island at all. Every time she saw Charlotte’s eyes fill with tears, she’d wonder why she was doing this. Then Jeanette would remember the words of the man Charlotte had called the bad man, and she’d remember exactly why she’d vowed that Charlotte must never remember the island; because if she ever set out to the island again, she never would return.
For a long time, it seemed as though other children had achieved what Jeanette could not.
The children in Charlotte’s class had laughed at her every time she mentioned the island, which Jeanette knew had worsened after her ill-advised trip to the school to complain about that report. Eventually, one day when Charlotte had come home crying about teasing, Jeanette had gently suggested that Charlotte might fit in better with her classmates if she stopped telling stories.
And that had seemed to work; Jeanette had heard no more of the island for a long time. She’d thought about it again when Charlotte had revealed her ambition to become an anthropologist, wondered whether it could possibly have anything to do with those memories that Charlotte had never quite suppressed?
But what could she do? Charlotte was an adult; she could make her own choices. To object to this would only make Charlotte more determined to pursue this career choice, might even make her realise that Jeanette had been lying this whole time. David had approved of her choice; he’d been grateful that Charlotte was doing something with her life. Jeanette could never explain why the mere idea of Charlotte studying anthropology had chilled her to the bone, couldn’t tell either David or Charlotte that the warnings of the bad man reverberated in her brain more than ever.
It was hardly likely to happen anyway, Jeanette told herself. One thing she did remember was that the island was supposed to be hard to find, so the chances were, she’d struggle to get there anyway.
She therefore tried not to worry about it until the day Charlotte returned from the Tunisia expedition, slamming some object down in front of her. As Jeanette took the collar and recognised the familiar octagonal DHARMA logo, she realised with horror that what she had dreaded had indeed come to pass.
“You lied to me,” Charlotte began. “You knew all along that my memories of the island were real, and you kept on lying to me that I made it all up!”
“Charlotte, I - “ Jeanette stammered, but Charlotte interrupted “And you always told me Daddy had died when I was a little girl, but Mr. Abaddon told me he died in 1992! I could have seen him again before he died if you’d told me the truth!”
“Charlotte, you have to understand that I did what I had to do to protect you,” Jeanette began, thinking frantically to try and come up with something to persuade Charlotte to leave the island in her past, without telling her about her future death. And yet she understood Charlotte’s feelings of betrayal, and had to admit to some feelings she didn’t really understand herself about Henry’s death, which was in some ways a shock, yet in some ways she’d half-believed it already after all the times she’d told people he was dead. She couldn’t deal with that now, though.
“Protect me?” Charlotte spat. “By lying to me all my life, by making me doubt that any of my memories are real? You know, I don’t even think I want to hear what you have to say, because it’s just going to be one bloody lie after another.” she turned as if to go, but Jeanette grabbed her by the arm.
“Charlotte, wait! I did it to try and save you…” she began, knowing that there was no other way now but to admit the truth, but Charlotte wrenched her arm from her mother’s grasp.
“Don’t even bother. I don’t want to hear it.”
Charlotte didn’t tell Jeanette when she was preparing to board the freighter, but she did say goodbye to David. Jeanette could sense the hurt and confusion in David’s eyes as he went to give her Charlotte’s departure time; she knew he was still struggling to understand why she had lied all these years. But what could she have said? “A man from the future told me I mustn’t ever let Charlotte remember the island or she would die?” He wouldn’t have believed that even if she had told him.
“You should go, see her off before the flight. You don’t want her to leave with bad feeling between you,” David had said, and Jeanette knew that it was true. If Faraday had been right, then Charlotte would not be coming home from the island, and Jeanette would never see her again.
She had tried her hardest to prevent Charlotte from returning to the island; now she had to accept that there was nothing further she could do to save her.
It wasn’t hard to spot Charlotte among the crowds of people awaiting the flight to Fiji, standing near a man of Asian origin (was that the Chang boy, what was his name again?) and not far away…was that him? Was that Charlotte’s bad man?
Look at him, Charlotte, Jeanette frantically thought. Look at that man, and see if you remember him from years ago. See if you can remember what he said to you. Do you still really want to go on this trip?
As if she could hear her, Charlotte glanced up, frowning when she saw her mother.
“You came,” she said. “Why are you here?”
“I - I didn’t want us to part on bad terms,” Jeanette swallowed hard.
Charlotte broke away from the man she’d been talking to and ran towards her mother. “We’ll talk about it when I get back,” she whispered.
“Charlotte - “ Jeanette began, knowing there was still so much to say and not enough time to say it in, not really knowing where to start anyway, but another voice interrupted before she could continue.
“We’re about to board now, Charlotte.”
Charlotte pulled away from Jeanette. “Okay, Miles. I’ll be with you in a minute.” She reached down to pick up her luggage. “I have to go now.”
Jeanette watched her for a long time after she left for her flight.
The two women’s eyes met across the crowds at the airport, and both recognised themselves in the face that was looking back at them.
They had lived their lives on opposite sides of the fence when they had lived on the island, and the two sides were never supposed to meet. Even following the truce Horace Goodspeed and Richard Alpert had negotiated, Jeanette had become used to fearing the names Eloise Hawking and Charles Widmore, Hostile leaders whose names were only ever spoken in hushed whispers throughout the DHARMA camp.
Eloise, meanwhile, had been dismissive of the DHARMA Initiative and their ridiculous experiments from the start (although not to the extent of Charles, who had repeatedly demanded of Richard why Jacob had brought those fools to the island).
Yet they looked at each other now, and took tentative steps towards each other, and none of their past mattered. They were Eloise and Jeanette, two women united in their fear for their children, in their grief and shared feelings of hopelessness at the future they both knew would come to pass and that they were powerless to prevent.