sooooo......S
So it's been an interesting (stressfull) couple of weeks.
Work has been a little fraught and today after 2 weeks space between the first committee meeting I met to find out what the final decision was with my employment,
I felt sorry for them, one of them sat in the parking lot for 20 minutes and didn't want to come inside until their was backup, i sat in my office after preparing the room and laying out the food. All day it seemed a little fucked up that i had to supply the food at my own funeral.
but I digress anyway they rocked up, looking guilty and depressed. I'd pretty much presumed they would already ask me to leave / fire me so no big surprise their. So in a weird way i kind of felt like i had to make it easier on them, weird but you know.
All in all it seems like it's time to move on, they were very kind, like me very much, it's not personal yadda yadda yadda. And they mean it, it's just i'm not shall we say diplomatic enough for a small town community center. I presume (mistakenly) that when people talk to me they will actually tell me what is on their minds, that they will be honest and at the very least it won't go past me and onto 30 other members of the community in a garbelled chinese whispers sort of annoying curse.
So really im not to upset, just exhausted at this stage. and while the area i live in is beautiful I miss the diversity of the little community in melbourne, i miss the food, and the ability to just pop past and visit freinds.
Though to be honest the last 12 months is the healthiest i've felt in a long time, my anxiety has been down, i've been less depressed, though certainly under far more stress than i have ever been under career wise ever before.
So the question is now what next, where to live, stay here or move, What sort of work do i look for. you know the perenial shit that comes up.
So thats the day, sleep time now
Work has been a little fraught and today after 2 weeks space between the first committee meeting I met to find out what the final decision was with my employment,
I felt sorry for them, one of them sat in the parking lot for 20 minutes and didn't want to come inside until their was backup, i sat in my office after preparing the room and laying out the food. All day it seemed a little fucked up that i had to supply the food at my own funeral.
but I digress anyway they rocked up, looking guilty and depressed. I'd pretty much presumed they would already ask me to leave / fire me so no big surprise their. So in a weird way i kind of felt like i had to make it easier on them, weird but you know.
All in all it seems like it's time to move on, they were very kind, like me very much, it's not personal yadda yadda yadda. And they mean it, it's just i'm not shall we say diplomatic enough for a small town community center. I presume (mistakenly) that when people talk to me they will actually tell me what is on their minds, that they will be honest and at the very least it won't go past me and onto 30 other members of the community in a garbelled chinese whispers sort of annoying curse.
So really im not to upset, just exhausted at this stage. and while the area i live in is beautiful I miss the diversity of the little community in melbourne, i miss the food, and the ability to just pop past and visit freinds.
Though to be honest the last 12 months is the healthiest i've felt in a long time, my anxiety has been down, i've been less depressed, though certainly under far more stress than i have ever been under career wise ever before.
So the question is now what next, where to live, stay here or move, What sort of work do i look for. you know the perenial shit that comes up.
So thats the day, sleep time now