VIII. [ location: sanctuary for all (the shoe) ] i'm walking wounded, and i'd say it to your face.

[makeshisownway]

The Shoe was where the worst of the worst were kept. At least, that was what Peter remembered from the flood of memories from Dr. Magnus. The place in the Sanctuary where they kept the Abnormals that could never be allowed to intergrad with others were kept. The ones that they could hardly let roam free in fear of hurting others. It was the first

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[location: sfa; the shoe]

[godlikesin]

Nathan could feel himself wavering. No matter how hard he was struggling to keep Sylar down, the man was killing him, slowly leaking into his consciousness and trying to suffocate it out of his body. He wasn't sure how much longer he could hold onto him and keep him restrained. It didn't help that Nathan's mind was second guessing what he was doing. The man had a right to his body, psychotic or not, and to forcefully keep it from him made him little better than his mother or Parkman. It was with these thoughts circulating through his mind as well as the arguments that he'd had with both Claire and Mohinder weighing there as well, he found himself heading quietly down to the Shoe with the intention of trying to do what he needed to do as himself and help his brother conquer this thing. Even if he wasn't really Nathan, he still had all of the drives and desires that Nathan Petrelli might. And right now, his main desire was to see Peter be all right. No matter what it took

[location: sfa; the shoe]

[makeshisownway]

Peter didn't have the memories that this Nathan had. Not that he ever wanted them. He didn't even want to know Nathan was dead. Except, he ended up learning because of his natural instinct to help people. Gabriel needed help. He had the ability to help. And it didn't get either of them anywhere but in a hell hole. Gabriel became Nathan. The one thing Peter had tired to convince him of the most ended up backfiring. Then only to learn that he did kill Nathan. It left Peter lost, not knowing what to do

[location: sfa; the shoe]

[godlikesin]

"Still. You'd think the way that Helen had the rest of this place done up, the cells would be just as posh," Nathan said, a slightly playful expression on his face despite Peter's blank expression. Stepping forward, Nathan lingered just back away from Peter, staring at his brother's back with quiet wide eyes. What could he say? There really wasn't anything that he could do about this except stand here awkwardly and offer quiet support. But he'd taken his tack from something else so far. Maybe... Maybe that was what Peter would need

[location: sfa; the shoe]

[makeshisownway]

He shrugged. Peter kept his face neutral and on the wall, or as best as he could. He didn't want to lash out. Even if he wanted to tell him to stop being Nathan and be who he really was. That was all Taxon needed, two evolved humans with a crazy homicidal ability running free. The thought made him keep quiet as the other Nathan continued on. They were questions Peter had asked himself and already came to a decision on.

"Someone brought Haitian pills." He replied calmly. Peter had no idea who it was that did it, but he had been taking them the last few days. The sedative wore off after awhile. "I'll just use those. Even if it means I won't be special anymore."

What was the point of being special if he couldn't help the people he loved? Hell, he hurt the people he loved, even hurt people he didn't know. He asked to be special to help people. Not destroy them.

[location: sfa; the shoe]

[godlikesin]

"And when we run out? When the Primatech stores don't have anymore in stock and when they run out of things that are used to make them? What if replicated versions don't have the same effect? You can't just ignore this and attempt to suppress it. Please... Don't make the same mistakes that I did," Nathan implored quietly, tightening his grip on Peter's shoulder as something lurched in his head. Those weren't Nathan's words. But they weren't fully Sylar's either. But whatever they were and wherever they were coming from, they felt right. They felt like the conversation that Peter would need at this moment.

But they were gone as soon as they could come, and Nathan was having a difficult time hanging onto them. And that...that wouldn't do if he was going to help his brother, if he was going to be the man that Peter saw in him instead of the man that he feared he might be.

"You know as well as I do that there's only one way to deal with this ability."

[location: sfa; the shoe]

[makeshisownway]

Peter would have retorted with something about asking Magnus, except he rolled his eyes and couldn't keep the calm facade any longer. He pushed himself off his bed and turned to him, a look of accusation crossing his face.

How could this man, who wasn't even Sylar or Nathan, that was standing in front of him even say things like that? He had no idea what it was like to be him. To have everything in his family just fall apart around him and he could do nothing to stop it. Maybe Gabriel could of understood, but the man in front of him wasn't Gabriel. Peter didn't even know who he was.

"Do you, really?" He asked. "You know how I can handle an ability when I'm broken? Because, Sylar sure of hell didn't."

[location: sfa; the shoe]

[godlikesin]

"Sylar didn't have any reason to handle it," Nathan countered automatically, leveling Peter with a gaze and not flinching from the look that Peter was giving him. "But you have people who care about you, Peter. But who love and support you and will help you through this situation no matter how long it takes," He said. "And while I know you're doing this for our own good, protecting us from what you think you're going to do and what you know you're capable of, Peter, you can't just do that indefinitely. You can't."

Because, in the end, he'd just end up snapping from being confined, and this cell, no matter how good it might be, would not contain Peter if he got the urge to leave it.

"Tell me, Peter. What's your plan?" Nathan asked, his gaze a little more probing than it would be if it were just his brother, a little more intense than Nathan would be capable of. "What are you going to do if shit does hit the fan, and you have to deal with a worst case scenario?"

And if Peter said kill himself, so help him God...

[location: sfa; the shoe]

[makeshisownway]

Peter couldn't hold in the snort from the first comment. He didn't deserve their help, even if they wanted to give it. It would figure that even a fake Nathan would little down on his choices. From career to trying to protect people he cared about. It would only make sense. Peter folded his arms and rolled his eyes slightly. He was so tired of being told what he couldn't do. They should of just come out and said 'You never know what you're doing, Peter.The look in the other Nathan's eyes just agitated him more. He returned the gaze with a narrowed glare. Then he glanced over to the side. He had plenty of ideas. Most involved someone ramming a sword through his head, or just killing him out right. Adam had the right idea but the execution didn't go as Peter had hoped

[location: sfa; the shoe]

[godlikesin]

Nathan was staggered by the question. If Peter was implying what Nathan thought he was implying... A quiet dread ran through the elder Petrelli's mind as he shifted and sank down onto the chair in the middle of the room, turning his back to Peter as he dropped his head into his hands and sighed. Nathan felt so helpless, so lost, and as he struggled for something that would convince Peter against that course of action it hit him hard what Peter needed

[location: sfa; the shoe]

[makeshisownway]

The joking tone dropped instantly. Peter tensed. Even though he wasn't really Nathan, and the fact he could never be Nathan, he was still the Nathan that he had known these last eight weeks. And, as much as Peter resented the fact that Gabriel thought he was Nathan, it hurt. That statement hurt. It was like Sylar was taking Nathan away all over again.

"Shut up." was his first response. "Just - shut up. He can't help me either. No one can help, alright? It's my own screw up because I'm..." Peter had to try and find the right word. "I'm hurting." Not what he wanted to express, but he couldn't find another way to say it.

"And you think putting that bastard in front of me is going to help? It won't. So just, don't even say that."

[location: sfa; the shoe]

[godlikesin]

"You see him anyway, Peter," Nathan said, his eyes still locked on the window, watching as his features rippled. "Standing there, you see him a lot more surely than you see me. Because I don't really exist. Not here, not in this body. And I don't have any right to usurp this position. Not when he's here," He said.

And as much as he knew letting Sylar out would hardly help at first, not in the most immediate context... There was a possibility that Peter would listen to him far more than he would listen to the man pretending to be his brother.

Finally pulling his gaze away from the window to look up at Peter with an apologetic gaze, Nathan sighed, "Because what it comes down to Pete is that this isn't me. This isn't my body. It's Sylar's."

[location: sfa; the shoe]

[makeshisownway]

He was at a loss of words. So, it was okay for "Nathan" to basically kill himself, but it wasn't alright for him to do it? He knew he shouldn't be this upset about it. The real Nathan was there in Taxon. But, he also knew why it hurt so much. It was going to be watching Sylar kill a Nathan. He wasn't there to stop Sylar from killing Nathan, and now he would have to watch a Nathan give in and let Sylar kill him. Peter was so glad at the moment he couldn't use his abilities. There would be things flying everywhere at the least.

"So. You're going to let him kill you. Again. I never thought I'd see the day when part of Nathan Petrelli would give in and just die."

Maybe he really wasn't any part of his brother. Peter could never see Nathan just roll over and let Sylar win. Not like this. He'd fight first. Nathan had to go down fighting. It was the only way Peter could see him... he couldn't go out like a kicked dog.

"That's it then? You're going to let him win. Just like that."

[location: sfa; the shoe]

[godlikesin]

"No. I'm not going let him win. I'm going to trust that out of everything that I remember, that the things that I can't place in my mind are his. And I'm going to hope that if that's true, he's going to do the right thing. I have to do this, Pete. Because there's no way that I can sit here and just let you self-destruct when there is a chance that I can do something as him that I can't do as myself."

The initial jerk away from Peter, his eyes turning and diverting to another area of the room was sudden, painful, but as the struggle faded, the pain seemed to as well as Nathan's features shifted, warped, fought against each other and the ones falling into place until the man that was sitting in the chair in the center of the room was hanging his head, gasping slowly for breath as he tried to calm the heart raging in his ribcage.

It took a moment for his gaze to shift as things began to settle into place a very slight smile spread across his face, "God. It's good to feel whole again."

[location: sfa; the shoe]

[makeshisownway]

"Nathan-"

Peter backed away quickly as the fake Nathan jerked. His back hit the wall, trying to put as much distance as he could from the situation. Physically and emotionally. It didn't work out as much as he had hoped. He watched as Nathan's features formed back and forth between the two inhabitants in the body. Peter reached out at first, trying to convince him again that he shouldn't do this. That he didn't want Sylar to take another piece of his brother away. He was too late though. He knew it as soon as he saw the features settle into the familiar ones that belonged to Sylar

[location: sfa; the shoe]

[godlikesin]

"Peter," The voice that addressed him this time was different and yet similar at the same time, the pitch clearly belonging to someone who was not his brother and yet, the tone remained the same even worried edge. As the memories had detached from Nathan's consciousness, they had merged back into their rightful place in the memory of Sylar. And as the two personalities had collected and collided, the rage had been soothed. While not all together suffocated, it at least had a direction now, and he understood well enough that Peter and Claire...were not part of that direction

[location: sfa; the shoe]

[makeshisownway]

"Yeah," Peter laughed bitterly. "I was going to ask if you killed my brother when it seemed like it was fine."

He shoved himself off the wall and walked away from Sylar. His hand ran through his hair before he pinched the bridge of his nose. Peter forced all of his thoughts and emotions down, trying to shove them for a time when Sylar wasn't there. He didn't need to go into a complete mental break down in front of him. There was a sigh as he ran his hands down his face and stopped in front of the window pane.

Now his mind was full of buzzing questions and words, and Peter wished it was blank again. Instead he crossed his arms tightly and stared out through the glass at the rest of the Shoe.

"You should of killed me, not him."