VIII. [ location: sanctuary for all (the shoe) ] i'm walking wounded, and i'd say it to your face.

[makeshisownway]

The Shoe was where the worst of the worst were kept. At least, that was what Peter remembered from the flood of memories from Dr. Magnus. The place in the Sanctuary where they kept the Abnormals that could never be allowed to intergrad with others were kept. The ones that they could hardly let roam free in fear of hurting others. It was the first

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[location: sfa; the shoe]

[makeshisownway]

Peter didn't have the memories that this Nathan had. Not that he ever wanted them. He didn't even want to know Nathan was dead. Except, he ended up learning because of his natural instinct to help people. Gabriel needed help. He had the ability to help. And it didn't get either of them anywhere but in a hell hole. Gabriel became Nathan. The one thing Peter had tired to convince him of the most ended up backfiring. Then only to learn that he did kill Nathan. It left Peter lost, not knowing what to do.

Could Peter forgive Sylar? He didn't know. Nathan was the one thing he still cared about the most in his broken family. He had given up on his mother, Clarie was in her own life away from him. Now the only thing that was good left in his family had been taken away from him as well. All Peter could have done was stood there and watched it all fall apart around him. That is what he hated to know. That ultimately, he couldn't do anything to save Nathan if he was saving the President. It was an impossible situation. Someone had to lose. Peter knew Nathan would rather it be him than the nation.

He lowered his head slightly as he heard the door open. Peter sat on the chair in the center of the cell, eyes ahead of him at the wall. He wasn't even sure who it was that entered at first. Mohinder would have come up to him and tried talking to him about it. Peter didn't want to talk about it. He wanted it to have never happened. Except, then the voice came, and Peter knew it really wasn't Nathan. Nathan couldn't get into the cell that easily.

"It's not supposed to be." He replied with a flat unemotional tone, staring at the wall in front of him. "It's a cell."

[location: sfa; the shoe]

[godlikesin]

"Still. You'd think the way that Helen had the rest of this place done up, the cells would be just as posh," Nathan said, a slightly playful expression on his face despite Peter's blank expression. Stepping forward, Nathan lingered just back away from Peter, staring at his brother's back with quiet wide eyes. What could he say? There really wasn't anything that he could do about this except stand here awkwardly and offer quiet support. But he'd taken his tack from something else so far. Maybe... Maybe that was what Peter would need.

"You can't stay in here forever, Peter," Nathan said as he took another step towards his brother, settling a hand lightly on his shoulder. "What if this isn't a glitch, and it doesn't just go away? You can't just sit here hoping that that will happen, and you won't have to worry about dealing with what having this as a part of yourself might mean in the long run."

Because as much as he respected his brother for allowing himself to be locked up like this to protect everyone else, it was hardly a long term solution.

[location: sfa; the shoe]

[makeshisownway]

He shrugged. Peter kept his face neutral and on the wall, or as best as he could. He didn't want to lash out. Even if he wanted to tell him to stop being Nathan and be who he really was. That was all Taxon needed, two evolved humans with a crazy homicidal ability running free. The thought made him keep quiet as the other Nathan continued on. They were questions Peter had asked himself and already came to a decision on.

"Someone brought Haitian pills." He replied calmly. Peter had no idea who it was that did it, but he had been taking them the last few days. The sedative wore off after awhile. "I'll just use those. Even if it means I won't be special anymore."

What was the point of being special if he couldn't help the people he loved? Hell, he hurt the people he loved, even hurt people he didn't know. He asked to be special to help people. Not destroy them.

[location: sfa; the shoe]

[godlikesin]

"And when we run out? When the Primatech stores don't have anymore in stock and when they run out of things that are used to make them? What if replicated versions don't have the same effect? You can't just ignore this and attempt to suppress it. Please... Don't make the same mistakes that I did," Nathan implored quietly, tightening his grip on Peter's shoulder as something lurched in his head. Those weren't Nathan's words. But they weren't fully Sylar's either. But whatever they were and wherever they were coming from, they felt right. They felt like the conversation that Peter would need at this moment.

But they were gone as soon as they could come, and Nathan was having a difficult time hanging onto them. And that...that wouldn't do if he was going to help his brother, if he was going to be the man that Peter saw in him instead of the man that he feared he might be.

"You know as well as I do that there's only one way to deal with this ability."

[location: sfa; the shoe]

[makeshisownway]

Peter would have retorted with something about asking Magnus, except he rolled his eyes and couldn't keep the calm facade any longer. He pushed himself off his bed and turned to him, a look of accusation crossing his face.

How could this man, who wasn't even Sylar or Nathan, that was standing in front of him even say things like that? He had no idea what it was like to be him. To have everything in his family just fall apart around him and he could do nothing to stop it. Maybe Gabriel could of understood, but the man in front of him wasn't Gabriel. Peter didn't even know who he was.

"Do you, really?" He asked. "You know how I can handle an ability when I'm broken? Because, Sylar sure of hell didn't."

[location: sfa; the shoe]

[godlikesin]

"Sylar didn't have any reason to handle it," Nathan countered automatically, leveling Peter with a gaze and not flinching from the look that Peter was giving him. "But you have people who care about you, Peter. But who love and support you and will help you through this situation no matter how long it takes," He said. "And while I know you're doing this for our own good, protecting us from what you think you're going to do and what you know you're capable of, Peter, you can't just do that indefinitely. You can't."

Because, in the end, he'd just end up snapping from being confined, and this cell, no matter how good it might be, would not contain Peter if he got the urge to leave it.

"Tell me, Peter. What's your plan?" Nathan asked, his gaze a little more probing than it would be if it were just his brother, a little more intense than Nathan would be capable of. "What are you going to do if shit does hit the fan, and you have to deal with a worst case scenario?"

And if Peter said kill himself, so help him God...

[location: sfa; the shoe]

[makeshisownway]

Peter couldn't hold in the snort from the first comment. He didn't deserve their help, even if they wanted to give it. It would figure that even a fake Nathan would little down on his choices. From career to trying to protect people he cared about. It would only make sense. Peter folded his arms and rolled his eyes slightly. He was so tired of being told what he couldn't do. They should of just come out and said 'You never know what you're doing, Peter.'

The look in the other Nathan's eyes just agitated him more. He returned the gaze with a narrowed glare. Then he glanced over to the side. He had plenty of ideas. Most involved someone ramming a sword through his head, or just killing him out right. Adam had the right idea but the execution didn't go as Peter had hoped.

Peter leaned forward slightly, arms crossed, eyebrows moving up. Despite the anger that was still in his eyes he smirked. He was pretty sure that the person in front of him already knew what he was thinking. If it came down to the wire and there were no other options.

"You've seen Highlander, right?"

[location: sfa; the shoe]

[godlikesin]

Nathan was staggered by the question. If Peter was implying what Nathan thought he was implying... A quiet dread ran through the elder Petrelli's mind as he shifted and sank down onto the chair in the middle of the room, turning his back to Peter as he dropped his head into his hands and sighed. Nathan felt so helpless, so lost, and as he struggled for something that would convince Peter against that course of action it hit him hard what Peter needed.

He needed him gone.

Even as he had told Nathan that he would keep trying to hold back Sylar, he knew he couldn't hold out much longer as it was. The longer he tried, the more of a struggle it would be and the angrier Sylar would be in the end. Like this, though, maybe... Maybe they could all stand a chance. Lifting his eyes slowly to look across the cell at the glass, his gaze slowly unfocusing until he was looking at his own reflection in it instead of through the pane.

"Peter. There's nothing I can do to help you," Nathan said, his gaze still fixed on the window. "But I know someone who can."

[location: sfa; the shoe]

[makeshisownway]

The joking tone dropped instantly. Peter tensed. Even though he wasn't really Nathan, and the fact he could never be Nathan, he was still the Nathan that he had known these last eight weeks. And, as much as Peter resented the fact that Gabriel thought he was Nathan, it hurt. That statement hurt. It was like Sylar was taking Nathan away all over again.

"Shut up." was his first response. "Just - shut up. He can't help me either. No one can help, alright? It's my own screw up because I'm..." Peter had to try and find the right word. "I'm hurting." Not what he wanted to express, but he couldn't find another way to say it.

"And you think putting that bastard in front of me is going to help? It won't. So just, don't even say that."

[location: sfa; the shoe]

[godlikesin]

"You see him anyway, Peter," Nathan said, his eyes still locked on the window, watching as his features rippled. "Standing there, you see him a lot more surely than you see me. Because I don't really exist. Not here, not in this body. And I don't have any right to usurp this position. Not when he's here," He said.

And as much as he knew letting Sylar out would hardly help at first, not in the most immediate context... There was a possibility that Peter would listen to him far more than he would listen to the man pretending to be his brother.

Finally pulling his gaze away from the window to look up at Peter with an apologetic gaze, Nathan sighed, "Because what it comes down to Pete is that this isn't me. This isn't my body. It's Sylar's."

[location: sfa; the shoe]

[makeshisownway]

He was at a loss of words. So, it was okay for "Nathan" to basically kill himself, but it wasn't alright for him to do it? He knew he shouldn't be this upset about it. The real Nathan was there in Taxon. But, he also knew why it hurt so much. It was going to be watching Sylar kill a Nathan. He wasn't there to stop Sylar from killing Nathan, and now he would have to watch a Nathan give in and let Sylar kill him. Peter was so glad at the moment he couldn't use his abilities. There would be things flying everywhere at the least.

"So. You're going to let him kill you. Again. I never thought I'd see the day when part of Nathan Petrelli would give in and just die."

Maybe he really wasn't any part of his brother. Peter could never see Nathan just roll over and let Sylar win. Not like this. He'd fight first. Nathan had to go down fighting. It was the only way Peter could see him... he couldn't go out like a kicked dog.

"That's it then? You're going to let him win. Just like that."

[location: sfa; the shoe]

[godlikesin]

"No. I'm not going let him win. I'm going to trust that out of everything that I remember, that the things that I can't place in my mind are his. And I'm going to hope that if that's true, he's going to do the right thing. I have to do this, Pete. Because there's no way that I can sit here and just let you self-destruct when there is a chance that I can do something as him that I can't do as myself."

The initial jerk away from Peter, his eyes turning and diverting to another area of the room was sudden, painful, but as the struggle faded, the pain seemed to as well as Nathan's features shifted, warped, fought against each other and the ones falling into place until the man that was sitting in the chair in the center of the room was hanging his head, gasping slowly for breath as he tried to calm the heart raging in his ribcage.

It took a moment for his gaze to shift as things began to settle into place a very slight smile spread across his face, "God. It's good to feel whole again."

[location: sfa; the shoe]

[makeshisownway]

"Nathan-"

Peter backed away quickly as the fake Nathan jerked. His back hit the wall, trying to put as much distance as he could from the situation. Physically and emotionally. It didn't work out as much as he had hoped. He watched as Nathan's features formed back and forth between the two inhabitants in the body. Peter reached out at first, trying to convince him again that he shouldn't do this. That he didn't want Sylar to take another piece of his brother away. He was too late though. He knew it as soon as he saw the features settle into the familiar ones that belonged to Sylar.

Peter drew his hand back and simply stared for a moment. It hurt more than it should of. It was as if the full impact of what had happened back home finally hit Peter. Nathan was gone. If he ever went home, Nathan wouldn't be there ever again. The only place that he could be with Nathan was in Taxon. A city that screwed with it's inhabitants and gave them memories of home when it saw fit.

Even as the other man spoke, Peter just simply stared at him. His mind, for the first time in days, was completely blank of anything resembling a coherent thought. It was just a jumbled bunch of emotions that all came to the blunt word of pain. Peter blinked once, then twice. Then he leaned on the wall behind him and closed his eyes.

[location: sfa; the shoe]

[godlikesin]

"Peter," The voice that addressed him this time was different and yet similar at the same time, the pitch clearly belonging to someone who was not his brother and yet, the tone remained the same even worried edge. As the memories had detached from Nathan's consciousness, they had merged back into their rightful place in the memory of Sylar. And as the two personalities had collected and collided, the rage had been soothed. While not all together suffocated, it at least had a direction now, and he understood well enough that Peter and Claire...were not part of that direction.

Shifting slowly to his feet, Sylar took the few steps from the chair over to Peter, turning and reclining back against the wall next to him as he looked at Peter out of the corner of his eye. After a moment, Sylar exhaled slowly, trying to push the guilt that had settled on his shoulders along with the several memories that he hadn't had the benefit of before out of his mind, but the feeling lingered until he found himself unable to hold back the words that he'd refrained from expressing before. When he could still remember everything that had happened.

"You never asked, you know," Sylar said. "And I guess I just assumed you people had found some way to make him not dead. You were good at that."

[location: sfa; the shoe]

[makeshisownway]

"Yeah," Peter laughed bitterly. "I was going to ask if you killed my brother when it seemed like it was fine."

He shoved himself off the wall and walked away from Sylar. His hand ran through his hair before he pinched the bridge of his nose. Peter forced all of his thoughts and emotions down, trying to shove them for a time when Sylar wasn't there. He didn't need to go into a complete mental break down in front of him. There was a sigh as he ran his hands down his face and stopped in front of the window pane.

Now his mind was full of buzzing questions and words, and Peter wished it was blank again. Instead he crossed his arms tightly and stared out through the glass at the rest of the Shoe.

"You should of killed me, not him."

[location: sfa; the shoe]

[godlikesin]

"Logically, Peter, why should I have done that?" Sylar asked, staring at the younger man's back. He understood why Peter thought that he should. He understood better than he really wanted to. But that didn't mean it made any sense to anyone beyond Peter and people who knew how Peter thought. "You hadn't done anything to me up to that point. If anything, I had less reason to kill you than I had for anyone else in that hotel. But Nathan? You know what he did, Peter. You know how many people he put at risk, and even if I understand his reasoning now, that doesn't change how I felt about it then."