(no subject)
it's so frustrating only being able to take the smallest steps forward and not being in control of it or really knowing what's going on with other people. brian is still here. it's august 14. he was told june 1st to be out by august 1st, but he didn't get it together. procrastination, irresponsibility? i don't know what the excuse is, but as it stands there's no way they'll be able to move him into the apartment til at least september 1st, which is why i gave him so much time in the first place, because those things take time. there's nothing i can do or he can do at this point. i think he's doing what he's supposed to now, there's a note that he's signing the papers today after waiting close to a week for the background check. it's just always an excuse, something he's waiting for. all of this shit should have been taken care of in june or at least july. i felt bad for him after he thought he had somewhere to go back in may, and didn't know til a few days before the deadline that it wasn't happening. but this now is just bordering on taking advantage of me being nice. it's not my fault or my problem that he doesn't have his shit together (let alone the fact that he hasn't given me any money for this month yet). i just feel like every time i'm nice to someone they push it as far as it can possibly go, until i'm mad. too many grown adults act like children. i'm constantly having to go behind people and make sure they're doing what they're supposed to do. with adults you should just tell them this is what you need to do, now do it. you shouldn't have to ask them all the time what they're doing to make sure they're not slacking off, and you shouldn't have to tell them how to do it.
i'm sick of having to change my lifestyle to fit other people. all of heather's stuff and brian's stuff is in heather's old room now. that's the only way i can use *most* of my own house for what i want to use it for. i haven't been able to use the basement at all for over a year, i have a new couch down there that i got in may, and richie and i sat on it for the first time last night after we moved brian's stuff upstairs. i'm just so ready to have my house the way i want it and to stop catering to everyone else's needs. i make myself uncomfortable to accomodate other people. and i'm ready for my house to be CLEAN. fuck i am so ready for a clean fucking house. i don't know how so many people (most old roommates and plenty of other people out there) can live in such filth. it just comes down to the fact that most people don't care about things that don't belong to them. i make it abundantly clear how i feel about things, and it doesn't even matter. this is my house, i worked hard to get it, and i'll work hard to keep it how i want it. i'll be so glad when i no longer have to worry about other people getting in the way of that.
i'm getting tattooed in a little over an hour. i think i might have forgotten what it feel like. eek!
i'm sick of having to change my lifestyle to fit other people. all of heather's stuff and brian's stuff is in heather's old room now. that's the only way i can use *most* of my own house for what i want to use it for. i haven't been able to use the basement at all for over a year, i have a new couch down there that i got in may, and richie and i sat on it for the first time last night after we moved brian's stuff upstairs. i'm just so ready to have my house the way i want it and to stop catering to everyone else's needs. i make myself uncomfortable to accomodate other people. and i'm ready for my house to be CLEAN. fuck i am so ready for a clean fucking house. i don't know how so many people (most old roommates and plenty of other people out there) can live in such filth. it just comes down to the fact that most people don't care about things that don't belong to them. i make it abundantly clear how i feel about things, and it doesn't even matter. this is my house, i worked hard to get it, and i'll work hard to keep it how i want it. i'll be so glad when i no longer have to worry about other people getting in the way of that.
i'm getting tattooed in a little over an hour. i think i might have forgotten what it feel like. eek!