School Update
Well this summer term has been so rough on me, so bad that I thought I was having a heart attack mid way through the term. I spent 3 days in the hospital while they ran all of the standard hear function tests. Fortunately every thing came out mostly okay. I do have Angina and Diabetes (according to the hospital) so I have some major life changes ahead of me. I don't need meds for my diaetes at this point, but I have already altered my diet (which is kind of expensive) a lot less carbs and a lot more veggies, protein, and fruits. The fruits are kind of fun since everything is in season right now. It makes for some fabulous fruit salads. I'm supposed to check my blood sugar every other day, except that I don't have any more test strips and since my personal physician doesn't think I have diabetes, she won't prescribe for them. I got a testing machine at the hospital, but the strips are $50 for 50 strips...Way out of my budget zone.
Speaking of budgets, mine is desperately in the hole. I could only pay half of all my utility bills in order to have some money for groceries, pet supplies, smokes, and gasoline. I have to make it until august, when things will be even worse. I can't wait to get my student loan money in early September. I am expecting some money to come into my hands ($260) for Rachel's plane ticket, from her father and Michele told the dealership to sell the car by mid-July ( I hope, I hope, I hope). Michele has been helping out as much as she can, but she has less than $150 disposable income per month. If none of this money comes through, especially the car sale, then I am screwed about going to see Greer in August. That would break both of our hearts.
Greer and I. He seems in much better spirits now that he has a job. Its not enough to pay all his bills though so I'm going to have to supplement his income by $400 per month at least that's a lot less than the $1000 or more that I was sending him. I'm really looking forward to seeing him and to see how well he is taking care of himself. I still love him so much that my heart aches every time I think of him. But he still hasn't been able to start any kind of counseling, nor made any new friends or met up with old ones. He spends a lot of time talking to Tressa and I think that is where he has been getting the extra money he's needed to get by. If he has been, I'm not going to supplement him paying her back. Hr'll have to figure that out himself. Because he has been on an upward swing emotionally and physically, I'm starting to lean towards moving up there in December. A lot depends on my school situation at the time.
School in the future is way up in the air. It was recommended by the admissions board that I NOT be admitted to the social work field. The BSW coordinater agreed with them and I thought my case was lost. However, I managed to convince the BSW coordinator to let me present my case directly to the board. They turned me down based on my personal history and my desire to become a sex therapist. The coordinater tried to push me off into an MFT, but I told her no, that I wouldn't be employable by any government agency or east of Utah. MY VA counselor agreed with me and so she sent a letter of reference to the board yesterday. Hopefully it helps, my Spanish teacher was also going to send a letter to the board. I need to prepare my statement to the board so that I don't cry while speaking to them. I don't know what I'll do with myself If I don't get into the program, my mind just keeps drawing a blank. If all esle fails, I can make a case for my disabilty being a determining factor in their decisions. Which just happens to be quite illegal for any college that receives federal funds. I don't know if that is how I want to be admitted though. I may look into the University of Portland Social Work requirements and see if there is a semester's worth of of classes that I can take before being admitted and if they'll allow me to meet the Spanish requirement during my social work practicums. Its just all so confusing.
Me, I've been really depressed by the whole thing. I've had to make up a Self Care Checklist so that I can keep focused on me for the rest of the summer. It seems really childish, but it is necessary for me to see my progress as I inch (I hope) out of this hole I have been in ever since I was in the hospital. I'm still scared to start walking again even though my Doc gave me permission to start light exercise.
Well here's to another journal article all about what's been happening to me rather than about my feelings, hopes and dreams. As journaling is on my daily checklist, maybe I'll improve on my writing about those pieces of my life.
Oh, by the way, despite my financial troubles right now, I'm seriously considering buying a used BMW roadster. They have one in Palm Springs that I've been drooling over and that I should be able to afford once my bankruptcy is finalized, michele starts getting her student loan money and I get my student loan money in early September, if not sooner. It all depends on when the VA pays for my classes. I'm hoping that it won't be at the last minute, but who knows with everthing hinging on me getting into the Social Work Program.
Enough for now....
Speaking of budgets, mine is desperately in the hole. I could only pay half of all my utility bills in order to have some money for groceries, pet supplies, smokes, and gasoline. I have to make it until august, when things will be even worse. I can't wait to get my student loan money in early September. I am expecting some money to come into my hands ($260) for Rachel's plane ticket, from her father and Michele told the dealership to sell the car by mid-July ( I hope, I hope, I hope). Michele has been helping out as much as she can, but she has less than $150 disposable income per month. If none of this money comes through, especially the car sale, then I am screwed about going to see Greer in August. That would break both of our hearts.
Greer and I. He seems in much better spirits now that he has a job. Its not enough to pay all his bills though so I'm going to have to supplement his income by $400 per month at least that's a lot less than the $1000 or more that I was sending him. I'm really looking forward to seeing him and to see how well he is taking care of himself. I still love him so much that my heart aches every time I think of him. But he still hasn't been able to start any kind of counseling, nor made any new friends or met up with old ones. He spends a lot of time talking to Tressa and I think that is where he has been getting the extra money he's needed to get by. If he has been, I'm not going to supplement him paying her back. Hr'll have to figure that out himself. Because he has been on an upward swing emotionally and physically, I'm starting to lean towards moving up there in December. A lot depends on my school situation at the time.
School in the future is way up in the air. It was recommended by the admissions board that I NOT be admitted to the social work field. The BSW coordinater agreed with them and I thought my case was lost. However, I managed to convince the BSW coordinator to let me present my case directly to the board. They turned me down based on my personal history and my desire to become a sex therapist. The coordinater tried to push me off into an MFT, but I told her no, that I wouldn't be employable by any government agency or east of Utah. MY VA counselor agreed with me and so she sent a letter of reference to the board yesterday. Hopefully it helps, my Spanish teacher was also going to send a letter to the board. I need to prepare my statement to the board so that I don't cry while speaking to them. I don't know what I'll do with myself If I don't get into the program, my mind just keeps drawing a blank. If all esle fails, I can make a case for my disabilty being a determining factor in their decisions. Which just happens to be quite illegal for any college that receives federal funds. I don't know if that is how I want to be admitted though. I may look into the University of Portland Social Work requirements and see if there is a semester's worth of of classes that I can take before being admitted and if they'll allow me to meet the Spanish requirement during my social work practicums. Its just all so confusing.
Me, I've been really depressed by the whole thing. I've had to make up a Self Care Checklist so that I can keep focused on me for the rest of the summer. It seems really childish, but it is necessary for me to see my progress as I inch (I hope) out of this hole I have been in ever since I was in the hospital. I'm still scared to start walking again even though my Doc gave me permission to start light exercise.
Well here's to another journal article all about what's been happening to me rather than about my feelings, hopes and dreams. As journaling is on my daily checklist, maybe I'll improve on my writing about those pieces of my life.
Oh, by the way, despite my financial troubles right now, I'm seriously considering buying a used BMW roadster. They have one in Palm Springs that I've been drooling over and that I should be able to afford once my bankruptcy is finalized, michele starts getting her student loan money and I get my student loan money in early September, if not sooner. It all depends on when the VA pays for my classes. I'm hoping that it won't be at the last minute, but who knows with everthing hinging on me getting into the Social Work Program.
Enough for now....