(no subject)
alllrighty, it's the next day, back from my second date with lawrence. He's a cutie, alright. He picked me up from school and we ate at farmer boys [it was so good.] this time our discussion primarily revolved around gay rights, religion, and how sexy jesus is [lol]
Then he wanted to go back to his place. Usually I know what that means, but I went with the flow anyway and did. he talked more about this video that shows convincingly that jesus may not have even existed. It talked about the various myths and the story that revolved around each messiah or messiah figure [like a god or goddess] and it was SO interesting. of course I'd have to double up and check all of what they are saying... but it's SO worth checking on. He also talked about 9-11 conspiracies [ooh~] and I just told him about how my dad was showing us all the demonic images that the clouds supposedly show [though now I know from photoshop class that those images could have been photoshopped in.] Though some various news sites swear the photos have not been doctored...hmm.
like these:
here's the same pic from a site that doesn't talk about the 'demonic face' in the clouds:
skeptics say that it's natural for the human mind to depict these images and attribute them to demonic images or look for patterns in the clouds.
however...I dunnoooooo.....
lol that's enough of that! whatever it was, a bush conspiracy or truly terrorists, evil took place that day. we know that for sure.
ANYWAY, back onto my DATE :)
so after we talk about that we enter the house; he's tripping [I can't believe I used that word] about his pad being messy, but it wasn't offensive to me. He showed me his parking permit, all the pills he takes for muscle gain, his penis pills [lol] :) and his dog, which is SO CUTE!!! I couldn't believe how cute this dog was! so small...I dont know dog types so I couldn't tell you what he said she was. but she's a fierce little thing! she'll fight him. lol. and she couldn't stop licking me, to which he said, "well how can you blame her" LOL
He shows me his room, which has tons of photos on the walls of rave pictures and trippy photographs that if you looked at while you were high...
I saw a pipe and a condom in his dresser among other pictures and things. he knew I saw the pipe but I don't know that he knew I saw the condom. I don't know if he meant for me to see that. That did make me a little uncomfortable...just slightly. we went back out to watch a little of that documentary that he was talking about, which was as interesting as he made it sound. we turned it off after it went into the 9-11 conspiracy material. we went back into his room and he turned off the lights, and he stood there wanting to kiss me. He drew me close to him and ran his hands down the sides of my body, and began lightly kissing my neck. I said in a funny voice, "ohh maahh goooooodddddddd" -LOL, because I knew that part was coming but I didn't want to react that way. he tried to say just relax and he tried to kiss my lips and put his arms around me, but he saw me frigid with my hands up and he stopped, seeing that it made me uncomfortable [though it was really hard to control my hormones with someone so attractive! oh myy gooooooooooossshhhhh] I told him that it was hard to stop and that I did want to, but I asked him serious questions about it as we went back by his computer to sit down. he apologized for being so forward [though maybe I should apologize for being a tease, what with the way that I look at him and dress] and I asked the questions, "okay, so if we were to proceed with what we were doing, what would that mean?" he says, "what do you mean what would it mean..." and I elaborated and he laughed and said, "I think it would mean that I was showing affection for you..." and as the joking subsided I explained that doing this so early, while so tempting with two hot people such as ourselves [just kidding], would complicate things and those questions as to "what does this mean" need to be answered [see nevo comma matt] in order to prevent any misunderstanding about who's intentions are what with kissing and et cetera. he said in response to that as he was taking me home, "you're wise beyond your years" and I said there was no such thing.
I continued to talk about how attractive he was and how hard it was for me to say no, because I don't know how I would have reacted if I'd been denied that way... and holding his hand commenced in the car - I didn't object to that, although I should really have asked what does this mean that time as well. he said he doesn't mean to interfere with my moral values [which as you know I'm TRYING to have!] and I thought that was very nice. maybe this means he sees me as a potentially serious date since I denied relations [I'm assuming that's what it would have led to had I proceeded] for the better cause.
He texted me the next day saying how he knows he shouldn't text but he needed to tell me how I brightened his week.
wow.
I just thought about how I tried to add andrew to my profile. that wasn't a smart thing to do now that I come to think about it, because I wasn't thinking of how I would react provided I am denied. I know my personality. If I were a stronger person it would have been a good idea to attempt something like that, but I think with my personality I'm risking too much. oh well, what's done is done.
I wanted to hang out with krystle today, but she has to work. I'll call local matt and see if he wants to do something.
:D
Then he wanted to go back to his place. Usually I know what that means, but I went with the flow anyway and did. he talked more about this video that shows convincingly that jesus may not have even existed. It talked about the various myths and the story that revolved around each messiah or messiah figure [like a god or goddess] and it was SO interesting. of course I'd have to double up and check all of what they are saying... but it's SO worth checking on. He also talked about 9-11 conspiracies [ooh~] and I just told him about how my dad was showing us all the demonic images that the clouds supposedly show [though now I know from photoshop class that those images could have been photoshopped in.] Though some various news sites swear the photos have not been doctored...hmm.
like these:
here's the same pic from a site that doesn't talk about the 'demonic face' in the clouds:
skeptics say that it's natural for the human mind to depict these images and attribute them to demonic images or look for patterns in the clouds.
however...I dunnoooooo.....
lol that's enough of that! whatever it was, a bush conspiracy or truly terrorists, evil took place that day. we know that for sure.
ANYWAY, back onto my DATE :)
so after we talk about that we enter the house; he's tripping [I can't believe I used that word] about his pad being messy, but it wasn't offensive to me. He showed me his parking permit, all the pills he takes for muscle gain, his penis pills [lol] :) and his dog, which is SO CUTE!!! I couldn't believe how cute this dog was! so small...I dont know dog types so I couldn't tell you what he said she was. but she's a fierce little thing! she'll fight him. lol. and she couldn't stop licking me, to which he said, "well how can you blame her" LOL
He shows me his room, which has tons of photos on the walls of rave pictures and trippy photographs that if you looked at while you were high...
I saw a pipe and a condom in his dresser among other pictures and things. he knew I saw the pipe but I don't know that he knew I saw the condom. I don't know if he meant for me to see that. That did make me a little uncomfortable...just slightly. we went back out to watch a little of that documentary that he was talking about, which was as interesting as he made it sound. we turned it off after it went into the 9-11 conspiracy material. we went back into his room and he turned off the lights, and he stood there wanting to kiss me. He drew me close to him and ran his hands down the sides of my body, and began lightly kissing my neck. I said in a funny voice, "ohh maahh goooooodddddddd" -LOL, because I knew that part was coming but I didn't want to react that way. he tried to say just relax and he tried to kiss my lips and put his arms around me, but he saw me frigid with my hands up and he stopped, seeing that it made me uncomfortable [though it was really hard to control my hormones with someone so attractive! oh myy gooooooooooossshhhhh] I told him that it was hard to stop and that I did want to, but I asked him serious questions about it as we went back by his computer to sit down. he apologized for being so forward [though maybe I should apologize for being a tease, what with the way that I look at him and dress] and I asked the questions, "okay, so if we were to proceed with what we were doing, what would that mean?" he says, "what do you mean what would it mean..." and I elaborated and he laughed and said, "I think it would mean that I was showing affection for you..." and as the joking subsided I explained that doing this so early, while so tempting with two hot people such as ourselves [just kidding], would complicate things and those questions as to "what does this mean" need to be answered [see nevo comma matt] in order to prevent any misunderstanding about who's intentions are what with kissing and et cetera. he said in response to that as he was taking me home, "you're wise beyond your years" and I said there was no such thing.
I continued to talk about how attractive he was and how hard it was for me to say no, because I don't know how I would have reacted if I'd been denied that way... and holding his hand commenced in the car - I didn't object to that, although I should really have asked what does this mean that time as well. he said he doesn't mean to interfere with my moral values [which as you know I'm TRYING to have!] and I thought that was very nice. maybe this means he sees me as a potentially serious date since I denied relations [I'm assuming that's what it would have led to had I proceeded] for the better cause.
He texted me the next day saying how he knows he shouldn't text but he needed to tell me how I brightened his week.
wow.
I just thought about how I tried to add andrew to my profile. that wasn't a smart thing to do now that I come to think about it, because I wasn't thinking of how I would react provided I am denied. I know my personality. If I were a stronger person it would have been a good idea to attempt something like that, but I think with my personality I'm risking too much. oh well, what's done is done.
I wanted to hang out with krystle today, but she has to work. I'll call local matt and see if he wants to do something.
:D