i did it....
i got home from work and my roommate's mom was here. so i used her as my mom (since my mom has passed i take up any chances i get to have an adopted mom). i started to cry knowing what i had to do. at about 10 i called john's cell phone. i prayed for his voice mail to pick up (in which it did) b/c i didn't want to really talk directly to him. i read my letter to the mail system (adding somethings into it also). my voice got shakey and i started to cry while i was talking to him a bit. but i didn't want my words to be jumbled up so that he couldn't understand me, so i forced it back.
it's done....
but all i want to do now is disapper!!!!
reminds me of this poem i wrote when my mom passed away and when my boyfirend at that time broke up with me.... i felt so bad, i had lost my best friend in the world (my mom) and my heart was broken even more because he broke up with me when i needed to be comforeted by someone ALIVE (not in mourning like my familly was.
Title: Little box of emptyness
When everything goes wrong
I crawl into my little box
Feels safe in here
No more pain
Nothing to worry about
Nothing to stress over
I like it
In my little box of emptyness
Yeah, it's my box
I go inside
When I can't stand life anymore
And when I want to be left alone
It's okay in my box
I disapper in my box
In the dark... I can't see
But it remines visiable... why?
I don't want to deal with life anymore
I HATE being the strone one
I just want to disapper in my box
As well I wish for it to disapper
With me in it.
********************************************
the pastor of my church at the time thought it was a suside note. but it's not
i just want my mom
it's done....
but all i want to do now is disapper!!!!
reminds me of this poem i wrote when my mom passed away and when my boyfirend at that time broke up with me.... i felt so bad, i had lost my best friend in the world (my mom) and my heart was broken even more because he broke up with me when i needed to be comforeted by someone ALIVE (not in mourning like my familly was.
Title: Little box of emptyness
When everything goes wrong
I crawl into my little box
Feels safe in here
No more pain
Nothing to worry about
Nothing to stress over
I like it
In my little box of emptyness
Yeah, it's my box
I go inside
When I can't stand life anymore
And when I want to be left alone
It's okay in my box
I disapper in my box
In the dark... I can't see
But it remines visiable... why?
I don't want to deal with life anymore
I HATE being the strone one
I just want to disapper in my box
As well I wish for it to disapper
With me in it.
********************************************
the pastor of my church at the time thought it was a suside note. but it's not
i just want my mom