I've come to expect it from you...
Last nite Mike, Nick, Corey and I all went to OTB for $3 margaritas. Mmmmmmm!!! So I pretty much refused to make eye contact with or talk to Nick. We all hung out all nite, so eventually my anger melted. He's so damn cute. I'm hopeless. So a new Katie came to hang out with us. She's great. She kept telling me how amazing and gorgeous I am. I like her. : ) No but she's fun and sweet too. I do really like her. She and I were talking in the bathroom at some hole in the wall bar about the boys. I guess her & Colin have something going on. She was asking me what she should do, and I told her what I thought. Then I was like "Yea, me & Nick have......I don't know, it's weird." She said "I totally sensed that! He has NOT stop staring at you all nite! And he keeps trying to be by you and find something to say to you." Weird, huh? Anyway, I don't know what's up with that. I will never understand our situation. Colin said he will never understand our relationship. Nick's all "Oh blah blah it's not a relationship....whatever whatever blah". I don't know. I would not say that I am pleased with us, but it's not terrible. Weird, yesterday wasn't I just saying how mad I was at him? Yea, I know I'm hopeless. I guess I'm a masochist. I know I am. Well, I don't LIKE inflicting pain on myself, I just keep not listening to my gut. I know I need to distance myself from that kid. But I can't help it. We always have fun, and I just.....I'm hopeless. If I wasn't into him, it would be fine, cuz I wouldn't feel any attachment to him. But I supppose I do. I don't know.
What is this thing all about anyway? I can't find anyway to concretely feel about this. I try my best to just take things as they come. And I do a pretty good job. I don't go into anything expecting a certain outcome. But at the end of the nite I'm a happy girl if we end up together. Mike commented the other nite that Nick and I are in a continuous situation. It's funny to hear other people's perception of it. People tell me not to take things from him and what not, but it's not even like that. I just can't figure it out. I can't figure him out. I usually am pretty good at reading people, and I'm slowly starting to understand him, but I haven't gotten there yet. It's very frustrating to me because I need to know how to handle him, and I just don't. Oh geez. I gotta go. Bottomline, I have fun with him, and whatever else is just extra.......
What is this thing all about anyway? I can't find anyway to concretely feel about this. I try my best to just take things as they come. And I do a pretty good job. I don't go into anything expecting a certain outcome. But at the end of the nite I'm a happy girl if we end up together. Mike commented the other nite that Nick and I are in a continuous situation. It's funny to hear other people's perception of it. People tell me not to take things from him and what not, but it's not even like that. I just can't figure it out. I can't figure him out. I usually am pretty good at reading people, and I'm slowly starting to understand him, but I haven't gotten there yet. It's very frustrating to me because I need to know how to handle him, and I just don't. Oh geez. I gotta go. Bottomline, I have fun with him, and whatever else is just extra.......