2 years ago this evening - I turned off all the machines on my Todd.  It was a crazy, beautiful sunlit, hot-wacky-hot San Francisco day with a view of the ocean from his ICU room at UCSF and  it was all so bloody sickening.  To this day I hate every single moment of every single choice I had to make that day ( Read more... )

I was clearing out some of my late hub's jackets to send to my bro and dad.  They all smell like suede they are, but in amongst the suede was an old disney jacket Todd  wore all the time. It smells exactly like T's clean, cologned, maleness .  Really rather shocking how it smelled like HIM; just like he'd taken off the coat and ( Read more... )

Sepsis: the worst, deadliest and most mis-diagnosed infection in the US.

I know my hub and I had HUGE probs but I never wanted him to die. Especially of this.


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April 20, called time 9.33 pm; my holding his heart - 9.21pm