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so last night i came home from the game, watched a couple movies with some friends and then went to bed.
i woke up this morning without hearing my alarm and saw that i had a multitude of missed calls and texts.
i had overslept and missed my brother's baptism in hoover and the family was freaking out. they thought i was dead.
i called them back to hear that they were close to sending out like an amber alert. they had called churches and various things looking for me. all because i overslept.
i mean i am really happy they care and were worried. but it just makes me feel awful and i cant wait until i can get away from everything and just start over. i mean i want them to care and i want them to avoid things going wrong, but idk what this feeling is. today i just felt like a child again for some reason. i know it probably seemed awful to them, me not answering my phone when i was supposed to be with them, and so on, but thinking i am dead right off the bat. i could see that, but i overslept. it just sucks you know.
i care really i do, but idk. i feel empty about it at the same time. but that feeling has been lingering for a while now. the empty one. but i am not really trying to remedy that. sometimes i think its better to not feel anything. and sometimes its worse. its just hollow, not good or bad. just fact.
so if you were one of the people who was contacted or called to try and find me. i am ok. and i am so sorry for your inconvience. really i am. i dont like being a burden to other people.
i woke up this morning without hearing my alarm and saw that i had a multitude of missed calls and texts.
i had overslept and missed my brother's baptism in hoover and the family was freaking out. they thought i was dead.
i called them back to hear that they were close to sending out like an amber alert. they had called churches and various things looking for me. all because i overslept.
i mean i am really happy they care and were worried. but it just makes me feel awful and i cant wait until i can get away from everything and just start over. i mean i want them to care and i want them to avoid things going wrong, but idk what this feeling is. today i just felt like a child again for some reason. i know it probably seemed awful to them, me not answering my phone when i was supposed to be with them, and so on, but thinking i am dead right off the bat. i could see that, but i overslept. it just sucks you know.
i care really i do, but idk. i feel empty about it at the same time. but that feeling has been lingering for a while now. the empty one. but i am not really trying to remedy that. sometimes i think its better to not feel anything. and sometimes its worse. its just hollow, not good or bad. just fact.
so if you were one of the people who was contacted or called to try and find me. i am ok. and i am so sorry for your inconvience. really i am. i dont like being a burden to other people.