cursed by my imagination - pressed by this spell
Sometimes I wish I wasn’t a nice person - I wish I could be mean & terrible. I would be a real nightmare - but I can’t. I can’t do it because I was born a nice/naive person, who tries to see the best possible move in life. Ickkkkkkkkkkkkkkk - I just get so frustrated with people & I can’t take people telling me lies when I think they have my best interest in there hands. It seems like some people use the nice people of the world and I hate it. Damn, I fucking hate it, & I wish I could be mean. I wish I could be mean back so bad, but I can’t because it isn’t me.
Nice really isn’t getting me where I want to be, but it’s all I know. I’m like the person who welcomes the new person to class on the first day - I’m the one that bakes cookies for someone because it is there birthday - I’m the one that is like Oh, Ill baby sit your kids, while you go out with your husband. I like being nice and helping others out. I like seeing people smile and laugh because it makes me happy. Happy is the best emotion in the on Earth.
I guess some people just have nerve - they are tough and mean - what I want to be. Some people just take advantage of nice people and throw them around like nothing. Like they aren’t even human. Then you look back on the whole situation and it all unfolds in front of your eyes - it seems so clear. You just think to yourself “Am I really that blind?” You don’t know what to do or say because you’re so ashamed, and oh boy, does it hurts. A lot. Because the people you call your friends, the loyal ones, the bffs, are all turning into fake ass phonies! I don’t get it - not at all. Would someone explain the rules to the game of life?