My life is brilliant.... my love is pure.

[divinecordelia]

I was tired of being afraid. That I had decided matter of factly. I just didn't know what to do about it because every time I did try to do something about it I wound up playing psycho fun house with Faith. What used to be Faith and maybe this was karmic retribution for the hell I put her through in high school, who knows. Why would she fixate on

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[true_angelus]

Well fuck, could it get any damn easier? I had left the kids with Merrick to go and find Cordelia and here she is in my arms asking for my help. Of course I'd help her, help drag her back to the house to watch the kids. Play Mommy and she would once I convinced her enough but for right now I wouldn't alarm her to the fact I was not her hero. I wrapped my arms around her and smoothed her hair down hushing her quietly.

"Cordy tell me what's going on?" I asked quietly as her head lay on my chest. I realized I had to get her out of here before Angel really did show up with the lust to kill me for taking the kids. I'd have to track Lexi down too, explore that little something I knew she was feeling in the garage. "First let's get somewhere safe. Angelus and Faith are out running around and I've got to get back to the kids, shit you don't even know about that. Come on let's get out of here."

It was far too easy as she slipped her hand in mine as we crossed the street and climbed into my car. We were driving toward the house before I could even process the fact she was actually here, sucker. No wonder why Faith went after her she was glutton for punishment to act so quickly. Once we'd gotten away from Wolfram & Hart I relaxed a little and glanced over at her.

"Cordy?" I asked gently as she jolted upright in her seat and glanced at me with large eyes. "Tell me what's wrong, what's got you shaken up?" She sat there twisting her fingers and looking from side to side of the street, probably searching for Faith. She was safe for the moment but she didn't know that. She started talking to me and telling me about how Faith was after her and drugs and all kinds of wicked things that I had to keep in check. No smirking, sympathetic nods and pats of encouragement.

"I'm sorry Cordy, I didn't know. I've been so busy that I just... shit I'm so sorry." I reached my hand over and set it on her thigh and she all but let out a yelp at the contact. Yeah, Faith had worked her over good and proper. "Cordy something's happened and I need your help, you'll be safe and with me but..." Her eyes widened as I tried to explain to her there was a spell and people were reverted to children and I needed her to help me keep an eye on them. Safe from Faith and Angelus. She of course agreed and I knew she would.

"Here we are." I said pulling up in the drive and she started to protest about this not being my house. "Safe house, just in case." She nodded and I pulled her from the car to the door of the house. No better time to reveal to her that she's fucked up majorly, game face on my grip on her shoulders intensified.

"Angel?" She asked with an anxious voice as I turned her to face me, me being Angelus. The color from her face drained and she nearly started sobbing but I held my finger up to her lips and shook my head.

"Listen to me Cordelia. I'm not going to harm you because quite frankly Faith's marked you already, but I will hurt you if you don't play along with me." I said sternly and she nodded with tears in her eyes. "Inside this house are two human children with whom you are familiar with and you are their Mommy for all intents and purposes. You'll play along, right?" She nodded frightened and I pushed the door open.

[divinecordelia]

Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Fucking stupid idiot. I swallowed back tears as Angelus steered me into the house where two kids waited for me to play Mommy. How messed up was this? Part of me was wishing Faith was here now and filling me full of drugs because at least it wasn't Angelus. I saw a small blonde walk out and scowl at Angelus and walk away. Angelus stared after her and then turned to me as we reached a door. Play Mommy was all he said as he pushed the door open. I stood there reluctantly and his hands fisted into balls and that was enough to propel me through the door into the view of two kids. A girl and a boy.

"Uh hi." I said nervously and waved at the two of them sitting on the bed looking at me with wide eyes. I had no clue who they were really and why Angelus had them? Beyond me. I looked over my shoulder at Angelus and back at them. "It's okay honey I've got them." That's right Angelus, go away so I can keep these two human babies safe. Maybe I could escape from here and take them with me, find Buffy. Buffy! YES! Buffy. She'd know what to do, she had a little girl right? That's what I heard and well she had to be better with kids than me. I hadn't been around kids since Connor was a baby. The door closed behind me and I looked back at the kids. There was something about the blueness of the boy's eyes that had me standing there with wide eyes.

"C-Connor?" I asked oddly as he smiled up at me. No way. This was Connor? He'd been turned into a child again? Oh God, Angelus was going to kill him and make him his little killing machine. Who was the girl though? I had no clue really. I heard the door open and close behind me and I turned to see the small blonde girl smiling wickedly at me.

"You're her aren't you?" She asked as she walked around me grinning. "I know why she likes you, you love her and you don't even know it. She's here you know, your Faith." I felt my body tense and I looked around the room nervously, not seeing Faith anywhere.

"She is not, unless she's hiding. Faith's not here." I said quietly to the odd little girl as her cold hand slipped in mine and she pointed to the small girl on the bed smiling at me. Oh. My. God.

[john_allerdyce]

Faith and I waited for Daddy to return with Mommy. I wasn't sure why I was confused that we had a Mommy. I thought my mommy was dead, but then again I could remember having a Mommy, but I don't think she was with my Daddy. It was with another Daddy. No. That couldn't be right. Why was I so confused?

I made sure to keep an eye on the hissy girl that Daddy left us with. I guessed she was alright if he trusted her, but I was probably older than she was. So why did he leave her in charge? That wasn't very fair. I sulked a little, but made sure that the hissy girl didn't hurt Faith. I had to protect my little sister because that was what big brothers do.

A little while later Daddy returned with our mommy. She was so pretty and I knew that I knew her the moment she looked at me and said my name. I smiled bright and waved back at her as Daddy left. She didn't seem to remember Faith which was strange, but I was confused too so maybe it was okay.

"Mommy." I said, as I ran over to hug her tight. Merrick glared at me and I think she growled, but I wasn't paying much attention to her. "Mommy, why are you confused? Don't you remember Faith and me?"

My lower lip trembled a little as I stepped back and looked up at her with wide eyes that brimmed with tears. I wasn't going to cry. Big boys don't cry and I was a big boy. I had to be brave no matter how confusing everything was.

[wickedslayer]

The hissy girl wouldn't let me go, always holding onto me and calling me a Star. I was a star! I should get sunglasses and run around and play hide and go seek. But Connor said we might get in trouble for that. I didn't care as long as he took all the blame for it because he would and Daddy would believe it too.

I smile at that.

Pretty girl walks in and I don't think she's our Mommy at all but Connor thinks she is. Boys are so dumb. Wicked dumb. I'd tell him that later too as soon as all the grown ups go away and I can tease him again. I just watch and she looks confused to see me. Everybody's always so confused. I don't care, as long as cartoons are on.

"Don't cry, you baby!" I yell at Connor, throwing a pillow and hitting him in the back of the head with it. Big kids don't cry. My big brother's not supposed to cry because he's a boy but I don't cry either. Only when I have to get out of trouble. Then I cry alot. But that's okay because it gets me out of trouble. Connor's just crying because he's a big baby.

[divinecordelia]

I stood there just staring in disbelief as the little blonde girl swung my arm happily and stared up at me with a totally insane grin. Was she happy to be tormenting me? Her hands were ice cold so I figured that she was pretty much a vampire, no doubt turned by Angelus. I pulled my hand loose and looked down at Connor who was asking if I remembered him and Faith, did that make me a bad Mommy? What the- no, I am not their Mother. I turned and looked at the door and seriously thought about running out of it and taking my chances of dying because this whole babysit your vampire Faith in a kids body? Seriously wigging me out. At least she wasn't big Faith and it didn't seem like she was a vampire.

"You don't get to leave, not until she's right again and you know that. You try and escape and I'll get you." Merrick whispered up at me and smiled again before turning and marching out of the room. I turned my attention back to Connor and... Faith, swallowing hard and forcing a smile onto my face. Angelus said if I played nice he wouldn't hurt me, so I was going to play nice. A pillow came sailing through the air and nailed Connor in the back of his head as he was near tears, Faith's voice calling out telling him not to cry.

"Hey now." I said calmly and picked up the pillow and set it back on the bed pulling Connor with me by his small hand. Faith seemed younger or maybe she was just smaller, I don't know. I sat down on the edge of the bed and patted a space for Connor to sit down. "Let's not fight because we have more important things to do. Do you guys like secrets? Good secrets?" My voice dropped down low, very low so that any vampires in the vicinity couldn't hear what I was about to say to my two "children."

"I'm not really your Mommy." I looked at Faith seriously and then at Connor. Well I was kind of his Mommy until Wesley stole him away. It made me wonder why in the hell Angelus had them both, Faith I could understand but Connor? "I'm going to help us get out of here, the people that live here are bad. That little girl? Very bad. The man? Really seriously bad. We aren't safe here and I want to take us somewhere safe."

I looked into each of their faces and hoped like hell they would want to get out of here, they weren't safe. I wasn't safe and I was saving Faith. Faith you know the one who smacks me around and has fun with drugs with me? Yeah so you could say that this whole baby Faith thing? Totally creepy. Possibly even more creepy than giving birth to a thirty-five year old black woman. Possibly. She was adorable though and I had the overwhelming urge to just pick her up and hold her, keep her safe and love her.

[john_allerdyce]

I listened as the pretty woman explained that she wasn't our Mommy. She told us secrets about the people who lived in this house and how Daddy was a very bad man. Suddenly I was hit with a clear memory of a very hot place with yucky air that burned when you inhaled it. Of a man who talked with a soft gravel hard voice and an accent.

I could remember him telling me that I was spawn from evil. The stories of my real mommy and daddy and the horrible things they did to the man I called Father's family. "Cling to the good and lay waste to the evil, Stephen. You're a good boy. God gave you to me. Fight the evil inside you. You can do it my son."

I backed away from the woman and Faith, my mind reeling with the memory as I looked around the room trying to figure out how I could have this clear memory of a place that had been home when I was this room that was supposed to be home too. I only stopped backing up when my back connected with the wall. I slid down slowly, wrapping my arms around my knees as I stared at Faith and the woman with tear filled eyes.

This wasn't right. I wasn't supposed to be here and if the lady didn't want to be my mommy because she knew the truth about me, it would only be a matter of time before Faith found out my secret too. I was demon spawn, a child of evil, and maybe Faith wasn't supposed to live with the bad man but this was where I was supposed to be.

I looked away, preferring to stare at the door so I could keep watch. Had to keep watch in case someone tried to come in and hurt us. Always had to stand guard because monsters and demons were around every corner and you never knew when they would attack. One mistake and Father and me would die. I couldn't fail him when God gave me to him, but where was my father?

Did the evil daddy get him? Did I already fail? My body started to shake as the tears fell. I couldn't save anyone and there was no one here to protect me.

"I don't want to be a child of evil. It's not fair. I try to be a good boy." I sobbed, burying my head in my hands as I tried to hide, ashamed that I'd given into crying in front of anyone.

[angels_bitch]

I frown because the pretty girl makes my big brother cry even more. Now he's crying and I wanna throw another pillow at him and tell him to shut up but the grown up is still here. I don't like her. She's mean and she's not my Mommy. I don't think I have a mommy but if I did? She'd be prettier than this one who makes Connor cry.

"Shut up, Connor!" I yell at him loudly, bounding off of the bed and walking up to the pretty girl. I stare up at her with an angry scowl at my face. She doesn't know what do, she's still confused so I kick her in the shin. She yells ow and gives me an angry look. Good! Pretty girls aren't supposed to make Connor cry.

"I don't like you." I announce loudly, still glaring up at her. "Your hair is stupid. And you're not my Mommy."

Where was the hissy girl? She likes me, so maybe if I told her to hiss at the fake Mommy she would. She could scare her away and then it would just be me and Connor. Then Connor would stop crying or else I'd hit him with a pillow until he shut up.

[divinecordelia]

I watched as Connor sunk down to the floor after spouting off what he'd learned back in that Hell dimension Wes sent him off to once upon a time. He was little though, how would he remember that? I just looked at him confused when I felt a sharp kick to my shin. I glanced down at little Faith as she announced she didn't like me and I had stupid hair. Only thing that really stuck out in my mind was the fact she said I was not her Mommy.

"Damn straight you little psychotic- vampire turned kid again!" I snapped out and gripped her by the arm hard and steered her over to the bed and plopped her little butt down. "You are right I am not your Mommy and thank God for small favors. I am not anyone's Mommy at all! You two stay here and Angelus is going to kill you both. I'm sure he has a special eye on you Faith considering you were his bitch like two days ago. And as far as I'm concerned I hope you stay a little baby because that means you won't come after me ever again!"

I didn't even take the time to consider what I was saying. I was confused and scared to death. Angelus had come to collect me to watch after these two and low and behold one of them just happens to be Faith. Little, tiny, human Faith. I should just kill her now, put a pillow over her face and make her go to sleep for forever. That would get rid of so many of my problems.

"I don't really give a crap if the two of you want to stay here and play with Mr. Psychotic and his little blonde vampire friend. I'm out of here." I turned around and headed for the door and felt a small hand grip around my wrist. I turned and glanced down at the hand. "Connor? Let me go. I'm leaving."

[john_allerdyce]

There was screaming and kicking and it was making my head hurt. The tears stopped just as Cordelia announced she was glad she wasn't our mommy. She said mean things to Faith and that made me mad. No one got to talk to my little sister that way.

I grabbed hold of Cordy's wrist, narrowing my eyes when she informed me that she was leaving. "No. Sit down and apologize to Faith." I tightened my grip and I knew it had to hurt. I could remember my father in the other place telling me I was special because I was spawned from demons.

I marched her over to the bed and pushed her down so she was sitting next to Faith. "Apologize or..." I paused and looked at Faith who was watching me with wide eyes. "Or we're leaving and we'll leave you here for Daddy and the hissy girl to deal with. They'll be mad at you for being mean to us and making us run away."

The more I thought about my threat, the better it sounded. I had to protect my little sister because that was what big brother's do. "Faith, I think we should tie her up and leave her in the closet. Then we can run away and we'll go to the other daddy's house. Maybe he is nice."

Except the daddy that Cordy called bad has been really nice to us. He took care of us and when Faith had her boo boo he calmed her down. He didn't even punish me for lying and taking the blame for the broken vase, but I knew the things Cordy said had truth to them. The other father told me about my evil parents. It was all confusing and I just wanted to go some place where things made sense.

[wickedslayer]

The mean lady wasn't pretty anymore at all. She was mostly just mean. Pushing me onto the bed and telling me that Daddy was gonna come back and kill me. If she wasn't being so silly I'd probably cry now to get out of trouble. I smile as Connor grabs her arm and pulls her back to the bed. Yeah. She should say she's sorry, that wasn't very nice to say to me. It's not my fault she has stupid hair and made my brother cry like a big baby.

Connor says we can tie her up and lock her in the closet for Daddy to find. Oh, he's gonna be so mad! Because by then we would be gone and even if he was mad at us I'll just blame it on Connor. It's totally his idea! And I know he'll always take the blame for me.

"Okay." I say with a shrug. Waiting for big brother to push her into the closet. He's wicked strong and that's why he's always breaking stuff. I don't know why I break stuff, I just do sometimes cause I like to look at lots of different things. And then I drop them.

[divinecordelia]

I looked at Connor shocked and horrified as he all but shoved me onto the bed beside the little monster that started this all. Apologize? I don't fucking think so and I was about to say that when he suggested tying me up and leaving me in the closet and she agreed. Agreed! She's evil even in human form! I looked at Connor and wondered why he was so protective of her, she wasn't even his sister. That was the key to getting him to cool his little jets. My arm wrapped around Faith and I jerked her into my arms, standing up from the bed as she kicked and flailed about.

"Back off Connor." I said defensively as I began backing from the room with Faith in my grasp. I held my finger out in front of me for emphasis as he stepped forward. "I'll hurt her if you don't stay where you are I swear to God I will. You think I care about her? She's been drugging me and smacking me around for weeks now! I'm not the slightest bit afraid of dropping her ass out a window."

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Cordelia." A calm voice announced from behind me and I turned to see who it was. That creepy little blonde girl yet again, what the hell did she care so much about Faith for. "She's the boss of you and just because she's little from a spell? I'm thinking she is still your boss and I'm going to make sure she's the boss until she's fixed. Put her down."

"Shut up you creepy little troll!" I snapped out and held Faith tighter and backed up toward the bathroom door in the room. "The both of you love her so much you'll just back the hell off me. I will hurt her, I promise." I squeezed Faith tighter and she squeaked, both of their eyes widened and I smiled. That's right, I'll hurt your little trophy.

[john_allerdyce]

"Let her go." I growled as the mean lady grabbed my little sister and threatened to her hurt her. She was making a big mistake because I may be small, but I could hurt her if she didn't let Faith go.

I watched as the hissy girl appeared and she told Cordelia to let Faith go too. The mean lady didn't listen. She made more threats and started to back up towards the bathroom. I watched and waited until she was right next to the bathroom door and knew she couldn't get out through the window there. She would be stuck.

I lunged and grabbed hold of Faith, using my strength to pull her out of the mean lady's grasp. Pushing Cordelia as hard as I could, she went through the door and fell back on the bathroom floor. I wasn't sure if Daddy was still home, but if so he would hear the noise and come running.

"You're evil and I am supposed to destroy evil." I said in a low angry voice as I jumped on top of the mean lady and hit her hard. Hitting adults was wrong and I may be punished for it, but I didn't care. No one hurt my little sister.

"Watch her, make sure she doesn't move. We're going to get Daddy." I informed the hissy girl. Not that I wanted to trust the girl who offered to kill me, but she seemed to want to protect Faith so I had no other choice.

[wickedslayer]

I squirm and twist in the mean lady's arms but she just holds on tighter. Hard to breathe. I'm shooting wild looks at Connor and Merrick and they look scared too. Well, Connor looks scared. Merrick just looks creepy like she always does. Weird hissy girl. She better save me from the mean lady or Daddy was gonna be so mad at her! But she didn't have to cause Connor pulls me out of her arms and I gasp in a big breath. That hurt. Now it hurt to breathe. I want to kick her again but Connor pushes me behind him.

I watch as he hits her through wide eyes cause my brother is wicked strong! It's so cool. I bet he can beat up all the other kids and stuff without hardly even trying. Merrick looks me over before looking back at Connor cause he thinks he's in charge now. Just cause he's older and stronger he thinks he's in charge. But everybody knows he's just a big crybaby.

Merrick nods at Connor and he takes my hand, the two of us bounding down the stairs towards the front door. Quickly I pull on his hand to make him stop.

"How are we gonna find Daddy?"

[divinecordelia]

I lay there on the ground trying to catch my breath from being shoved through a door by Connor. His fist lashed angrily down on my face and I swore I saw stars. Great now he's protecting and defending Faith, if ever they get turned back into their grown up selves? I'm totally screwed. I'd just avoid them both is all, I could do that. I should escape while Faith is little and useless, she couldn't stop me and neither could the half pint little blonde vampire now standing over my grinning evilly.

"I told you. You're never going to escape Faith, even Connor is protecting her and he doesn't know. He's a dumb boy that's all confused but Faith? I'll make sure she remembers exactly what you've done." She smiled and started humming as she crawled up on the counter and began brushing her hair. "That is if Angelus doesn't kill you first for letting the babies escape."

I felt fear rise up in my body like never before. Oh God. Angelus wouldn't kill me for this would he? I mean he did say I was Faith's property, he wouldn't cross that would he? I mean she marked me! I'd gladly show him where too. Listen to me. I'm a raving lunatic.

"Yeah well you can just kiss my-" I didn't get a chance to finish because her cold hand was suddenly pressed over my mouth and her little body straddled my chest. She glared down at me and her face shifted, angry glowing eyes narrowed.

"You better watch your mouth. I'm staying here until the dark Angel gets here, tell him what you've done." She whispered and brushed hair back from my face admiring the bite marks on my throat. "The dark Star loves you Cordelia, you should consider yourself the luckiest person alive. Alive for now at least." She laughed a cold cruel laugh and kept me pinned to the floor with her small body and cold hand over my mouth.

This really is Hell.