Kept!verse: Memories
This is the fourteenth story in my Kept!verse, in which Jeff's a billionaire, Jensen's a princess and Jared's the long suffering bodyguard. It follows Just Desserts
Title: Memories
Author: tabbyshhh
Wordcount: 3,786
Rating: PG13
Characters/Pairings: Jeffrey Dean Morgan/Jensen Ackles
Warnings: RPS, AU
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: None of this is real. As far as I Know Jeff isn’t a billionaire, Jensen isn’t a princess and Jared isn’t a bodyguard.
Summary: If they weren’t already married Jeff would ask Jensen right now.
Notes: Thanks to everyone who commented on the first story in this verse.
I realised when I was reading some of the comments for my new fic Fiori in Acqua that it's been months since I posted any Kept!verse.
Jeff’s been looking forward to this all week. He’d been forced to go to New York for business and had made a quick stop in Seattle on the way home to placate his mother who was being insufferable about wanting to meet Jensen. Having managed to convince her that Jensen is really shy and that she can meet him in the summer, he finally made it back to San Francisco. Jensen’s not expecting him back until tomorrow so Jeff’s decided to go to Carlson’s and surprise him. He called ahead to make sure Mrs Carlson didn’t ask Jensen to work late, knowing that Jensen would say yes.
Steve sees him first when he walks through the door and grins at him widely, looking kind of relieved. Jeff frowns a little wondering what that’s about, until Steve nudges Jensen who turns around and breaks into a huge grin. He hands some change over to the customer he was serving and then practically runs round the counter to throw himself at Jeff.
“Hi, baby.” Jeff greets him when Jensen finally pulls back from the frantic kiss.
”Why didn’t you tell me you were coming back early?” Jensen demands.
“I wanted to surprise you.” Jeff grins, frowning a little at how tired Jensen looks. “Have you been working extra hours?” He asks. Jeff tries not to smother Jensen, but the younger man would work himself to death if he was allowed to get away with it.
“Just a couple on Wednesday.” Jensen shrugs.
“Why don’t you cut out early?” Steve interrupts from behind the counter.
“It’s only 2.30.” Jensen points out.
“I can cope for thirty minutes.” Steve shrugs. “And Shonda always gets here early anyway.”
“C’mon.” Jeff nudges Jensen’s cheek gently with his nose.
“Ok. Just let me grab my stuff.” Jensen grins and disappears through the door behind the counter.
“He ok?” Jeff asks Steve.
“His roommate’s been bugging him.” Steve shrugs. “I thought he hadn’t been bothering him recently but I guess it’s because he’s been staying with you so much. He hasn’t told me that much about it.”
“Ok.” Jeff nods, making a mental note to find out what’s been going on. Jensen’s living situation isn’t ideal by any stretch of the imagination.
They head straight for Jeff’s apartment, Jensen insisting that he hasn’t done anything worth talking about and forcing Jeff to tell him about his meetings in New York and his visit with his mother.
“Why’s she so eager to meet me?” Jensen asks, letting them into Jeff’s private elevator with his own key.
“Because I talk about you all the time.” Jeff corners him and kisses him, smiling when Jensen moans happily. “God I missed you.”
“I missed you too.” Jensen replies, blushing prettily.
The doors open and they step out into the penthouse apartment. Jeff loves this place. He hadn’t been joking when he told Jensen he’d lived in some real dives in the past, but coming home to this place with its floor to ceiling windows and spectacular views of the bay, knowing that he worked his ass off for this and no one would be able to take it away, gave him more of a thrill than he’d had when JDM Enterprises had entered the Fortune 500 list.
He watches Jensen drop heavily onto the leather couch and follows, sitting next to him and smiling when Jensen snuggles in close. He gets a few more kisses and some orders not to leave again before Jensen promptly falls asleep. So much for the passionate reunion he’d been hoping for.
He manages to get Jensen lying down and busies himself reading through some contracts that had been waiting on his desk when he’d stopped in his office on the way to see Jensen.
Jensen wakes up with a start around two hours later, his eyes opening and glancing around before they settle on Jeff’s face.
“I fell asleep?” Jensen asks sleepily. “God, I’m sorry.”
“Hey.” Jeff soothes, running a hand through Jensen’s hair to calm him. “Just settle down, it’s ok.”
“You came home early to see me and I fell asleep.” Jensen points out. Jeff just smiles and continues stroking Jensen’s hair, the contracts dropped on the side table for now.
“I came home early because my mom was driving me nuts.” Jeff points out truthfully. “Getting to see you was just an added bonus. And you’re cute when you’re sleeping.”
Jensen rolls his eyes and pushes up into a sitting position, swinging his legs off the sofa before slumping against Jeff again.
“Want to tell me why you’re so tired?” Jeff coaxes. “Been out drinking and partying all night?”
“No.” Jensen pinches Jeff’s side lightly.
“What’s wrong, baby?” Jeff prods, moving so he can see Jensen’s face and lean in to kiss him. “Steve said you’ve been having problems with Austin again.” Jensen just makes a noise of disgust and slumps down in his seat. “What’s he done now?”
“His boyfriend’s been staying there.” Jensen says quietly.
“Oh yeah.” Jeff sits up a little. “Has he done anything?”
“No.” But Jensen’s not looking at him.
“Jensen…”
“I’m not a kid.”
“I know that.”
“You don’t have to treat me like I’m made of china.”
“I’m not.” Jeff replies indignantly. “I don’t think it’s unreasonable to be a little upset if the man I love is being harassed by another guy.” Jensen’s face softens into a smile and he leans in to kiss Jeff. It’s not the first time Jeff’s said he loves him but it’s still new between them.
“I love you too.” Jensen says against his mouth. “I’d tell you if he’d done anything like last time.”
Jeff grits his teeth against the rage that follows remembering that this guy had had his hands on Jensen. Being stoned out of his mind was no excuse and Jeff had made his feelings pretty clear on the subject.
“He didn’t touch you?” He checks.
“No.” Jensen sighs. “He just said a couple of things. They’ve been fighting anyway so I don’t think he’ll be around much longer.”
“Is that what’s been keeping you up?” There are still marks under Jensen’s eyes despite his recent nap.
“Maybe.” Jensen shrugs. “I’m probably going to have to move out anyway.”
“I thought you couldn’t afford anywhere better?” Jeff asks tentatively. They don’t talk about money often because it’s sometimes a touchy subject with Jensen. Their first real argument had been a blazing row about Jeff insisting on paying for everything and buying Jensen gifts when there’s no way for him to reciprocate.
“I can’t.” Jensen sighs. “Not really, but the landlord came and said he’s putting the rent up. I think he just wants Austin out of there and I’m just collateral damage.”
“Can’t you talk to him?” Jeff asks. “See if he’ll put your name on the lease and we can look for a roommate for you?”
“I tried. He said that because I’m not 21 he won’t put my name on the lease and it’s not like I can ask my parents…” Jensen trails off. “Steve said I can stay with him while I look for somewhere but his place only has one bedroom so I’d have to sleep on the couch.”
“You can stay here.” Jeff interrupts.
“Yeah but I still need someplace to leave all my things while I’m looking for a place of my own and…”
“No.” Jeff interrupts again. “Why don’t you move here? Move in with me.”
“I can’t.” Jensen says after a moments pause.
“Why not?” Jeff asks, sliding his hand under Jensen’s shirt, since the younger man is resolutely refusing to look at him.
“Because you don’t really want me here.” Jensen sighs. “You just feel sorry for me.”
“I feel a lot of things for you, Jensen, but sorry isn’t one of them.” Jeff contradicts. “I always want you here. I hate it when you go back to your apartment for the night.”
“Only because you think I’m going to get molested.”
“That’s one of the reasons.” Jeff agrees, still not thinking that’s unreasonable. “But mostly just because I want you here with me.” Jensen doesn’t respond for a while and Jeff sighs a little. “Jen.” He kisses the younger man’s cheek softly. “If you don’t want to move in with me because you think you’re not ready for that kind of commitment then that’s fine.” He promises. “You can tell me that. But if you honestly think I only want you to move here because I feel sorry for you you’re wrong.”
“I can’t.” Jensen shakes his head stubbornly. “It’s only been six months, Jeff. What if we break up? I can’t live here.” Jensen waves an arm around the huge living room, “I can’t get used to living somewhere like this and then have to go back to somewhere like where I live now.
“Just think about it.” Jeff urges. He understands Jensen’s concerns. Six months isn’t really a long time, and Jensen’s still very young. They haven’t even slept together yet, although they’ve done everything but take the final step.
*
“You have to let me pay rent.”
“Excuse me?” Jeff closes the door behind himself and steps further into the apartment to throw his coat over the back of the sofa and toe off his shoes, smiling as Jensen tuts at him and takes the coat and shoes to the closet where they belong. Jeff’s briefcase is dispatched to his study and then Jensen uses his tie to tug him in for a kiss before handing him a beer.
“You have to let me pay rent.” Jensen repeats eventually, stirring something in a pan on the stove. “If I move in with you.” It’s three days since Jeff asked and this is the first time Jensen’s brought it up.
“Jen…” Jeff sighs, He owns the apartment, it would be crazy for Jensen to give Jeff the money he works so hard for.
“No.” Jensen interrupts. “If you won’t let me pay rent I’m not coming.” Jensen pushes Jeff towards the breakfast bar and deposits a plate in front of him.
“Can’t I just take payment in kind?” Jeff asks, amused when Jensen blushes and hits him on the arm. “I meant with your cooking and housekeeping skills but if you want to offer other services…”
“I want to offer rent.” Jensen insists.
“Ok.” Jeff relents. He wants Jensen with him enough to agree to anything, God only knows what Jensen’s next roommate would be like. He can always put the money away in a savings account and give it to Jensen if they do ever break up. “You can pay me rent. But no utilities and no money for groceries.”
“Jeff…” Jensen complains immediately.
“No.” This time it’s Jeff’s turn to be stubborn. “I’m not letting you bankrupt yourself to try and pay the lighting bill for a place this size.”
“I don’t want to take advantage of you.” Jensen pouts. Jeff laughs so hard he nearly chokes on the pasta he’s just put in his mouth.
“What?” Jensen demands, glowering at Jeff and looking for all the world like a sulky teenager which, of course, he is.
“You’re 19.” Jeff points out when he finally has himself back under control.
“So?”
“I’m almost 31.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“It just means that you are the only person who thinks that you’re taking advantage of me.” Jeff points out. Jensen just returns to his food with a glare.
“Let’s be reasonable about this.” Jeff tugs Jensen in for a kiss when he’s finished loading the dishwasher. “If you move here I get to spend more time with you, which is what I want. If I let you pay rent, that’s what you want. If you only pay rent and no groceries and utilities you’ll have more money for when we go out on dates or when you want to do things with Steve which will make you happy. That’s what we both want. That’s how compromise works, baby. Everyone’s equally happy in the end.”
“I still think you’re the most happy.” Jensen pouts, but there’s a smile creeping in at the edges.
“Just wait until you can afford those shoes I see you lusting after.” Jeff teases, pulling Jensen in for another kiss.
“I don’t lust after shoes.” Jensen blushes. “I’m still head over heels for the pair you got me for my birthday.”
“I hope so.” Jeff laughs. “I only got them two weeks ago.” He’d agonised over what to get for Jensen, not wanting to upset him by spending too much, but wanting to get him something practical. Jensen’s never hidden his love of shoes and clothes from Jeff, cooing over practically everything Jeff wears. Eventually he’d settled for a pair of hand made Italian leather shoes and a cashmere sweater. Jensen obviously knew they were expensive but he’d been too pleased with them to kick up a fuss.
“I don’t know what you want for your birthday.” Jensen hints. Jeff knows he’s been saving up to buy Jeff’s present, squirreling away the money he makes on tips and the few hours overtime he manages to get each week.
“You can cook for me.” Jeff says. Jensen rolls his eyes. “Naked.” Jeff adds with a leer. That finally gets a smile out of Jensen. “Or, you could bake me a huge cake and then jump out of it in stockings and suspenders!” Jeff concludes triumphantly.
“What is it with you trying to get me into women’s underwear?” Jensen demands, making an attempt at a glare that his laughter completely destroys.
“So when can we move your stuff in?”
*
“This is everything?” Jeff asks incredulously when he sees the two suitcases and two small boxes Jensen has waiting for him on the front steps of his apartment.
“This is what I brought from Texas.” Jensen replies defensively. “I didn’t have a car and I haven’t exactly been able to afford to get new things.” He reminds Jeff.
“Ok.” Jeff shrugs.
“Told you we didn’t need to hire a van.” Jensen points out.
“And you were right as usual.” Jeff rolls his eyes and helps Jensen get the stuff into his truck.
It takes them hardly any time at all to unpack Jensen’s clothes into the closet space Jeff had cleared for him. He balks a little when Jeff moves to open one of the boxes but doesn’t move to stop him.
“What’s in here?” Jeff asks, deciding to let Jensen open it.
“Just things.” Jensen shrugs. Jeff waits patiently. “My year book, some photographs.” Jensen huffs when he realises Jeff isn’t going to let it go.
They spend a few moments looking at Jensen’s year book, Jeff can’t help but grin when he learns Jensen was voted most attractive in his class. It’s hardly surprising.
“What’s this?” Jeff asks, pulling another book out of the bottom of the box.
“It’s a scrap book.” Jensen blushes. “I’ve been keeping it since I came out here. I just…I just keep hoping that they might come around and then I’ll be able to show them what I’ve been doing.” The blush fades and Jensen looks suddenly vulnerable and ridiculously young, like the 19 year old he is, living in a big city without the support of his parents. Jeff can’t understand what kind of people could do this to their own flesh and blood.
“It’s dumb.” Jensen shrugs.
“No.” Jeff shakes his head resolutely. “It’s a great idea.” He flips open the book, sees the plane ticket that had brought Jensen from Dallas to San Francisco, tickets to local shows and attractions that he’s been to. There’s a picture of Jensen and Steve behind the counter at Carlson’s, their arms thrown around each other. When Jeff gets a few pages in he starts seeing things he recognises, tickets for shows that he and Jensen have been to together and then a picture of the two of them at one of Steve’s shows. “It’s a great idea, Jen.” He repeats, pulling Jensen in close. “They’ll come around.” He adds. “They sent you a birthday card, right?”
“Yeah.” Jensen nods. “But when I called them to say thanks they didn’t answer. I left a message but they haven’t returned my call. Josh keeps saying it’ll get better but…I’m sorry.” Jensen buries his face in Jeff’s shoulder as the tears start to flow and Jeff gathers him in, hating to see him so miserable.
“Don’t be sorry.” Jeff soothes. “You have every right to be upset.”
Jeff wonders if he should take Jensen to meet his mother. She’d absolutely adore him and would mother him to death given half the chance. He thinks Jensen needs that, needs someone he can call when he’s feeling down or when he needs advice on cooking or laundry. He is only 19 after all and Jeff remembers calling his mom practically in tears when he’d turned all his whites a splotchy grey in a disastrous attempt at laundry. But then part of him wonders if it would upset Jensen even more, if meeting Jeff’s mother, who despite her over bearing tendencies is amazing and Jeff wouldn’t swap her for the world, would make him miss his own even more.
Jensen calms down after a few moments, pushing his emotions down, something Jeff’s noticed him becoming more adept at. It saddens him a little, he’s so laid back himself that he quite enjoys Jensen’s tendency to fly off the handle one minute and then be struck with an attack of the giggles the next. He knows controlling your emotions is just part of growing up but he doesn’t want Jensen to think he has to hide the way he’s feeling from Jeff. He lets it slide for now and instead takes Jensen on a tour of his new home, despite the fact that he’s spent plenty of time there, making him crack up by pretending to be a particularly camp realtor.
*
Jeff looks down at the book in his hands, blindsided by the emotion he feels as he puts one last picture in, filling the book. Jensen had stopped putting things in it after a while, disheartened by the lack of improvement with things with his parents; he’d buried it in the closet.
Jeff hadn’t been able to leave it though, so he’d picked up where Jensen left off, filling the scrap book with things that were important to Jensen. Tickets from holidays and shows and events, articles about the fantastic charity work Jensen’s been involved in, and of course, mementoes of their relationship.
Jeff loves this stupid book. It serves as a permanent reminder of just how far the two of them have come, together, against all the odds. When things have been bad between them, and they’ve been together almost thirteen years, they’ve had their rough patches, Jeff’s always been able to pull this out and remind himself just why he loves Jensen so much. Why it’s always worth it.
He flicks though the pages, smiling at the pictures of the two of them drinking champagne on Jensen’s twenty first birthday, skiing in Aspen, standing outside the house when it had been brand new. He reads a few of the articles about Jensen’s charity work, pride swelling in his chest at just how much good Jensen’s done over the last ten years. Some of the more recent entries make him break into a full on grin, the picture of Jensen, Jared, Chris and Steve sweaty and exhausted but grinning with triumph after completing a charity fun run, a photograph of Jensen fast asleep in his studio, covered in paint. A copy of one of their wedding invitations, an article from a broadsheet about their wedding, a photograph of the two of them surrounded by friends and family on the big day.
Jeff flips to the last page and sticks down the final picture, the two of them on honeymoon in France, sitting outside the chateau smiling at each other. Jeff doesn’t even know who took the picture, knows it must have been either Sterling or Jared since they’d been the only other people there, spending their time in the guest cottage and making themselves scarce unless needed. He’d found the print on his desk this morning. He touches Jensen’s face with the tip of his finger, sees the soft smile that Jeff’s never seen directed at anyone but himself.
He wasn’t sure what he was going to do with the book when it was finished. It’s become more habit than anything else, but the original aim was always to give it to Jensen’s parents when things were better between them. Jeff thinks now is as good a time as any but he doesn’t think they deserve it really, it’s too personal and he’s not sure he wants to give it up.
He picks the book up and heads in search of Jensen, finds him in the kitchen having succumbed to Jared’s demands for food. He ignores the presence of Jared and Chris and heads straight for Jensen, pulling him in close for a kiss.
“Jeff?” Jensen looks worried, raising a hand to touch Jeff’s cheek which must still be wet with tears.
“I love you.” Jeff tells him, looking deep into his eyes. It’s the most important thing in the world to him that Jensen understands this.
“I know.” Jensen still looks concerned. “I love you too.”
“I don’t regret it, you know.” Jeff tells him. “Not one single day. If I had it to do over again I would. I love you so much.”
“Jesus.” Jensen replies. “You’re not dying or anything are you because…”
“No.” Jeff stops him immediately. “I’m fine.”
“Then what’s brought this on?” Jensen asks.
“It’s done.” Jeff pulls away from Jensen to hand him the book.
“This…” Jensen looks amazed. “I thought I lost this when we moved here. You’ve been filling it in all this time?” Jeff just nods. “Why?”
“Because I love you.” Jeff answers honestly. “Because you’re amazing and you don’t see it and I thought maybe one day I’d be able to convince you. Because you’re my world.”
“Jeff.” Jensen pulls him in and kisses him. “I don’t even know what to say. Thank you.” He kisses him again.
“Jesus.” Jeff swears, resting his forehead against Jensen’s. “If we weren’t already married I’d ask you right now.” He feels Jensen laugh a little and tug him towards the door.
“C’mon.” Jensen murmurs. “I want you to show it to me. These two can make their own lunch.” Jeff lets himself be led upstairs, leaving Jared and Chris staring dumbly after them.